The subreddit AITA is one of reddit's most popular, or at least viral. It stands for "Am I the asshole?" in which users present a situation and other redditors pass judgement. Someone using a throwaway account (u/throwawayorangecat) posted a truly unique situation that you have to read. We assume that all names have been changed. Their workplace has two cats, Jorts and Jean. Jean is a female tortoiseshell cat who is friendly, smart, and normal. Jorts is a big male orange cat who is friendly, but can't even figure out how to open a door when it's ajar. Pam is a co-worker who took it upon herself to "teach" Jorts how to open a door and generally get along in life.

Don’t get me wrong— watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about “you can’t expect Jean’s tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts” which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went home early.

In her email Pam said I was “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb” and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return.

At that point, u/throwawayorangecat posted the question at reddit. Then u/throwawayorangecat got called in by Human Resources. In an update to the story, we found that they managed to smooth things over and set some boundaries, but more details emerged that show u/throwawayorangecat was not the only one who considers Jorts really dumb, and that Pam was trying some weird and misguided things with the cat. The original poster is to apologize to Jorts, get him a cat bed, and make sure that Jorts' avatar is changed from a sweet potato to a picture of the cat. The whole story is just plain hilarious.

Do it for me. https://t.co/fA2ESmW571

— Jorts (and Jean) (@JortsTheCat) December 15, 2021

I love this poem https://t.co/5DccCH3Fwr

— Jorts (and Jean) (@JortsTheCat) December 15, 2021

These posts sent Jorts trending on Twitter, and u/throwawayorangecat started a Twitter account for Jorts. -via Metafilter

The Fermi Paradox states that the odds are overwhelmingly against the notion that the earth is the only place that life exists in the universe. But if there are others out there, why haven't we found them, or why haven't they found us? Maybe they are hiding. Maybe they are afraid of us. After all, considering our science fiction stories, it's obvious that we are afraid of intelligent beings from other planets. But beyond fiction, there's always the possibility that successful alien life forms may be like us. And that's terrifying.

This video from Kurzgesagt goes through the steps to explain why an alien civilization may avoid approaching us due to the same trepidation that people feel for other people that they don't already know. That's not limited to intelligent beings, either, as the lower species in our own world can be awfully dangerous to each other as well. Meanwhile, we keep sending out probes and radio signals hoping to contact alien beings. We may be way too naive and trusting in these projects. -via Damn Interesting

Who's your favorite villain- the one we all love to hate? Who's your favorite Christmas villain? Put them together and you've got one weird but unforgettable mashup. We always knew Vader had a heart three sizes too small. Hoodwinked Toys combined Darth Vader and the Grinch for this one-of-a-kind Christmas toy. Yes, it's unique, there was only one, and it's already been sold. They could have sold hundreds if they were mass produced. However, you might be interested in some of their other action figures available, like the chocolate chip Wookiee. Still, I kinda would like to see the Chewie Lou Who, even though I know he doesn't exist.  -via Boing Boing

You're a mean one, Mr. Sith!

https://t.co/bOWQhHnSV7 pic.twitter.com/hmXKstZbJ0

— Gianni Matragrano (@GetGianni) November 24, 2021

Death Note is a manga and anime series about a young man who encounters a notebook dropped by a shinigami--a Grim Reaper-like death spirit in Japanese folklore. If he writes a person's name in the notebook, that person dies.

The young man, who is named Light, decides to use the death note. This leads to him being hunted by a formidable detective--but one not as unstoppable as Lt. Columbo of the Los Angeles Police Department.

An internet meme started by, I think, Lia Treppé imagines an ingenious alternate version of Death Note. The seemingly bumbling detective who looks barely competent to serve as a police officer, let alone a homicide detective, would certainly corner Light.

Devon Tatton is a librarian at the Greater Victoria Public Library in British Columbia. One day, while weeding print books in the travel section of her library's stacks, she found and pulled a copy of Handpicked Tours of North America: A Motorist’s Guide to Scenic Routes and Fascinating Places in Canada and the USA. When she picked it up, a tiny zine--a handmade magazine--fell out.

Tatton discovered that the book was a hallow shell filled with a wide variety of zines. Although it had a spine label and was shelved in the correct location by the Dewey Decimal System, it was a fake. Inside was a message saying that the book was the "central branch" of an underground zine trading library.

Tatton had discovered a guerilla library operating secretly inside her own library. This began her quest to find the person responsible for creating and managing this secret library. Tatton was successful. Read the whole story at Capital Daily.

-via Jessamyn West

The Miss Universe pageant was held Sunday in Israel. Miss India, Harnaaz Sandhu, was crowned the winner. While people debate the very idea of beauty pageants for many reasons, one thing we can agree on is that the most entertaining part of the global pageant is the parade of national costumes. As I see it, they fall into three categories: a nice gown designed to make the contestant look good, an over-the-top Vegas showgirl-style contraption, and a costume that actually tries to convey something about the represented nation. Miss Malta, Jade Cini pictured above, is an example of having to carry a lot of national hardware. Miss Iceland represents the  latter category.

I like the costume worn by Miss Iceland, Elisa Groa Steinþorsdottir. The theme is the volcanoes of Iceland, and that's fairly obvious without her having to carry an extraneous structure. In addition to these categories, which sometimes blended into each other, the pageant saw some specific political messages from Miss Ireland and Miss Finland. Miss France channeled Josephine Baker in her costume. There were a few costumes that actually approximated historic dress from their nation's past. And of course, some that make you wonder what they were thinking. See a gallery of all 69 national costumes from the Miss Universe pageant at Buzzfeed.

Gingerbread is a confection that uses the classic "pumpkin spice" spices. But gingerbread men and gingerbread houses are a Christmas thing. The more you look, the more Christmas traditions you find, many of them having nothing at all to do with the birth of Christ or Santa Claus or even the solstice. It's like we threw all possible traditions in a bucket and eventually got rid of the ones we didn't like.

Long-time Neatoramanauts know about this one, as we posted the movie for your viewing pleasure in 2012. So what's the deal with a white Christmas, wrapping paper, and the Rockefeller Christmas tree? Cracked titled their latest pictofacts article 13 Unexpected Origins of Christmas Traditions, but many of them are just weird facts about the customs that surround Christmas. You'll learn something either way.

Don't you just hate when fans try to one-up each other? They call it gatekeeping. You can't be a real fan unless you know as much about Star Wars (or any other fandom) as I do! It's not a competition; it's supposed to be something we can enjoy. Yeah, this can apply to any fandom, but Star Wars is notorious for having way too many fans that not only hate other fans, but hate Star Wars itself.

This skit starts out angering us for just that. Rowan considers himself a knowledgeable and therefore "real" Star Wars fan, and he wants Ellie to admit she isn't a "real" fan because she can't possibly know what she needs to know everything about Star Wars. Then it's funny, because it's carried to a ridiculous degree. Then there's a twist. You don't want to miss it, in this skit from Viva La Dirt League. I know there's an old adage that applies here; probably several of them. -via Geeks Are Sexy

Mel Brooks was born in 1926, the same year as Marilyn Monroe and Queen Elizabeth. After serving in World War II, Brooks worked as a standup comedian, then a comedy writer for radio, Broadway, TV, and movies. He produced, directed, wrote, and/or acted in a series of films we will never forget, including The Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and Spaceballs. He released a memoir this year, titled All About Me. Brooks revealed one of his secrets to success in an interview at The New Yorker.

I’d learned one very simple trick: say yes. Simply say yes. Like Joseph E. Levine, on “The Producers,” said, “The curly-haired guy—he’s funny looking. Fire him.” He wanted me to fire Gene Wilder. And I said, “Yes, he’s gone. I’m firing him.” I never did. But he forgot. After the screening of “Blazing Saddles,” the head of Warner Bros. threw me into the manager’s office, gave me a legal pad and a pencil, and gave me maybe twenty notes. He would have changed “Blazing Saddles” from a daring, funny, crazy picture to a stultified, dull, dusty old Western. He said, “No farting.” I said, “It’s out”… You say yes, and you never do it.

Kottke has an overview of the recent coverage of Mel Brooks' life and career that's really worth a look.

Wherever there is snow, there are snowball fights. They may be widely separated by time and distance, but when the snow blankets the ground, people want to play with it. Even a child with no elders instructing them will figure out that snow can be molded into a relatively soft ball for a short time, just perfect for throwing at someone.

Snowball fights are fun enough to be the subject of art, beginning around 1400 AD. These early artworks used snowball fights to depict the month of December or January in calendars, called The Book of Hours at the time. Snowball fights have also been used for comedy and political cartoons, and even to illustrate real fights that had some importance. See a gallery of 47 snowball fights depicted in art from all over the world (except the tropics) at The Public Domain review. You'll also get anecdotes about some of the more important snowball fights in history.  -via Nag on the Lake  

Years ago, my sister and mom started an “ugly ornament” exchange each Xmas, where they’d try to find the ugliest ornaments they could and give one to each other. It’s been hysterical to see what they come up with each year. I present to you a thread... starting with a TV Dinner. pic.twitter.com/UuV2O5sqmJ

— Julia Mordaunt (@juliamordaunt) December 11, 2020

Every family that celebrates Christmas puts their own spin on the usual traditions, or else starts their own. Years later, these an be cherished family memories, even when they are ridiculous. Julia Mordaunt tells us how her family's ugly ornament exchange got started.

And this is why I love my family so much! I highly recommend the tradition ! It brings our family a ton of laughs each year (like cry laughing) and lots of joy each year. Smoking pot helps too. And the fact that they keep them on their trees each year is amazing. Happy holidays!

— Julia Mordaunt (@juliamordaunt) December 12, 2020

If you look hard enough, you'll find that anything and everything can be made into a Christmas tree ornament. A zebra in a fancy skirt. A hippo wearing high heels. Over the years, these ornaments grew into collections for both the mother and the sister. Putting up the tree is a source of giggles for each ornament unpacked. And you can bet it's a real conversation-starter when guests come over. See all the ornaments in a ranked gallery at Bored Panda. You might even like some of them.  

William Clause and his wife Henrietta had a son in 1888. William had a sense of humor, so he named his son Santa. We have proof. Santa Clause lived in Saline County, Missouri, and worked as a plumber and a minister at the Church of God. He and his wife eventually had nine children, none of them named Santa.

Being a good man and the victim of nominative determinism, Clause spent at least a month every year writing letters, answering the mail that came to Santa Claus from good little boys and girls. He kept this up throughout his life, even when the postage bill meant hardship. Church and community members donated funds to help Clause keep the letters coming, as you can read about in a 1939 writeup in the Great Falls Tribune, in which they omitted the "e" in his last name. That was also the year that Clause decided to give up his clean-shaven look for the season and grow a beard so he could be a real Santa Claus for the children.

You can read about other men who filled Santa's boots at Find-a-Grave. -Thanks, WTM!  

Are you a world-class gaming champion? Do you have the perfect erogonomic setup to maximize your dexterity? Do you have thousands of followers on Twitch? Then perhaps you can play against the best who were present at the Financial Modeling World Cup.

PC World reports that 128 top-ranked players met online yesterday to see who is the undisputable master of Microsoft Excel. In each round, the contestants are delivered a 1-5 page case study that must be modeled and resolved in the spreadsheet software.

The winner was Andrew "NGOAT" Ngai, who prevailed over Michael "Jarman's Army" Jarman, who was unable to discover the source of an error in his spreadsheet in the final problem. Ngai claimed the $10,000 prize money. 

You can watch a complete recording of the event on YouTube.

-via Dave Barry | Image: Financial Modeling World Cup

Why are reindeer associated with Santa Claus? In History Today, Alexander Lee traces the history of the Santa Claus legend. He begins with the historical Saint Nicholas, who was a Fourth Century A.D. Christian bishop in what is now Turkey. He was famous for sneaking into a poor man's house to leave money as a present.

When the Protestant Reformation came to Germany, Martin Luther decided to keep the Catholic feast day of Saint Nicholas, which continued to thrive in German-speaking areas of Europe, as well as spread outside of it to England and other nations.

German immigration to the United States led to the proliferation of Santa Claus imagery in America, emphasizing his gift giving to children. Perhaps heavy winters in the early Ninteenth Century encouraged artists to depict him in a sleigh.

In 1821, a New York City publishing house produced the anonymously written poem titled The Children's Friend: A New-Year's Present, to the Little Ones from Five to Twelve. One of the illustrations showed a reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh. The Santa legend rapidly assimilated this image and added the number of reindeer. Read about this change at History Today.

-via Debby Witt | Photo: Pixabay

In the past few days, reddit has seen a slew of images posted of meals from various institutions in an attempt to one-up each other either as to how wonderful they are (school lunches in Asian countries) or how awful they are (US military meals). Redditor blackthorn3111 appears to have taken the prize when he posted this pitcher picture with the title "I see your dinner and raise you a jug of water from the tap on USS Nimitz."

This seems a bit alarming, as the USS Nimitz is a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier. But there's a perfectly logical explanation. Redditor nanan00's comment rose to the top.  

Someone put a bottle of fluorescent dye for leak detection in the water.

This stuff is safe to drink but will make you pee neon green for a day or two... We use it for hydro testing pressure vessels and I have seen it used to test water lines.

That changed everything. Suddenly everyone wants a drink. There are plenty of resources on the web for fluorescent dye for leak detection, but if you plan to dye your water, you better make sure it is formulated for drinking water systems instead of, say, automotive or industrial use.