Forget everything you've read in your high school biology text book! THIS is the correct anatomy of a turtle.

Between the carapace (the upper shell) and the plastron (that's the lower shell that encases the belly) of your favorite chelonian (that's fancy Latin word for, you guessed it, turtles) are 32 individual items including hoses, gaskets and screws! Without any digestive system, it's amazing how turtles could poop so much (just take it from my personal experience, turtles poop. A lot. If you don't find poop in your turtle's cage, perhaps its eating said poop.)

Our pal Adam Koford (@apelad) tweeted this out, saying that it'll make a great coloring exercise.

And for all you literalists, relax! It's just the schematics of the cute Polaris Turtle pool cleaner.

We've got some pretty neat My Family decals on the NeatoShop (I'm particularly proud of the My Zombie Family and the Extended My Zombie Family stickers by Adam Koford), but we're still pretty amazed at this little bit of genius, as photographed by imgur user shannonbtweet.

Now that's a busy woman! With quintuplets and a dog, we're not sure whether the dad is in jail on purpose. Maybe it's easier to be incarcerated than to have to raise five mewling babies (kidding! No hate mails, please).

What looks like a duck but tastes like a potato? 73-year-old retiree Dorothea Clinton of Shropshire, England, dug up this unusual looking tuber from her back garden. "I just pulled it out of the ground and I thought, 'Oooh, it's a duck,'" she told Shropshirestar. "We normally eat everything we produce from the garden but I can't bring myself to eat this one, it's got a kind of strange sentimental value to me now."

Now that's a spud worth quacking about!

Twitter user @kapravel tweeted this photo showing a vastly different T-shirt size distribution at a computer science conference for the Linux operating system.

We see similar shift in the sales of various T-shirt sizes on the NeatoShop, and a friend of mine whose job is in retail distribution confirmed that some chain stores in the midwest had simply stopped ordering "Small" shirts (not even for children's shirts)

What T-shirt size do you wear?

It's hard enough to be a single parent, but when single mom SongBird130 decided to go back to college at night (while working during the day) she really needed to set the house rules straight with her HS senior and college junior kids. This is what she came up with:

To the humans of this house: This week we will all become busy students with jobs, homework and studying. There is no maid, butler, laundress, cook, valet, errand runner or other help employed here.

• Do your dishes
• Feed yourself
• Pick up your mess
• Sort & put away your laundry
• Yes - you can buy a few groceries
• BE A GROWN UP
• I'll pay the utilities, insurance & mortgage

Apparently, Meg is in charge of working out and Wes gets to play with the power washer:

Now, if only I can assign my work out routine to one of my kids, that'll vastly improve my day!

Mom later updated the story to explain the whiteboard:

"We communicate via this whiteboard in the kitchen and have for years. It is amazingly helpful. We eat together when we can. I cook and leave leftover meals. Yes my classes are at night and work all day. I do the laundry. They just have to sort. Avoids mistakes on my part. Meg is very thin and beautiful. She wants to be stronger. Wes likes to power wash. They are Dean's list students and have jobs. We all have to break the cycle of leaving messes and things undone. I love them more than life itself. They give me my reason to get up each day."

Photo: PH2 Leland Comer/WIkimedia

How big is the MV Blue Marlin, a semi-submersible heavy lift ship? Why, it's big enough to transport drilling rigs and even other big ships on its deck.

In the 2000 photo above, the Blue Marlin was hired to move the destroyer USS Cole back to the United States after the warship was damaged by Al-Qaeda bomb in Yemen.

Photo: Hans Elbers/Flickr - more at Elbers' website

Well, carrying one ship is impressive - but what about carrying 18 ships? Here the Blue Marlin transported 18 riverboats and a few large pontoons from China to the Netherlands.

A ship that carries a ship (or ships)? Now that's a big ass ship, but the Blue Marlin is actually not the biggest heavy lift ship in the world. That title belongs to Dockwise Vanguard (the company also owns the Blue Marlin), which has 70% larger deck-size than the Blue Marlin.

More about the Blue Marlin over at Wikipedia and Dark Roasted Blend - Thanks Avi!

Previously on Neatorama: Blue Marlin: A Ship That Carries Other Ships and Weird World Records

Panda Garden is a rather common name for a restaurant. I don't know where this one is, but I bet it's not in China or Australia. -via Bad Menu

Teenager Zach Gibson came out as gay last week on his Facebook page, and got this surprise letter from his mom Michelle Conway McClain. She said, "I love you unconditionally. ... Your sexual orientation does not define you. You are still the boy who forever won my heart."

But, like a true mom, she ended the letter with "The only thing that concerns me is the number of empty soda cups and tea bottles in your room. Throw them away before ants come inside."

The letter has gone viral since it was posted on the NO H8 Campaign's Facebook page two days ago. Zach wrote "I never expected this much support. I knew my mom would be fine with it, but I never expected this letter and I never expected this many people to spread it around. This means so much."

Zach's mom Michelle emailed Upworthy the reason why she left the note: "I knew I wouldn't see Zach before I left work that morning, so I didn't want him to start his day without knowing I support him 100%, even though I was sure he already knew. I posted the note on my Facebook page knowing my friends and family would think it was typical of me to end with a joke since Zach and I share the same sarcastic wit. I had no idea it would become such a huge sensation on the internet."

Oh, where would this blog be without our beloved bathroom humor?

Jeff Victor of Wicked Crispy (previously on Neatorama) challenged himself to create movie-related artwork every day for 30 days. For day number 2 ... 2 (ahem, twenty two), he created this gem: a parody poster of an apocalyptic B-movie, Assteroid.

Jeff wrote:

For today's challenge, the idea was to make your own B-Movie poster. I chose to imitate the classic Irwin Allen style disaster pic that was really popular in the 70's, and load it with as many terrible butt jokes as possible. Gotta keep it classy. (Or is that gassy?)

Ba dum ... BUM chssh!

Where else could you make a deposit and a withdrawal at the same time? Redditor dropstop spotted this perfect union of ATM and toilet in an unnamed strip joint.

Want to take a photo of the gorgeous city skyline but not the pesky smog? Don't let reality ruin your vacation photo! Take one in front of this backdrop, instead.

Chinese website Netease published a gallery of mainland Chinese tourists posing in front of a backdrop of panoramic images of Hong Kong with clear blue skies whilst the real city sits in the background, shrouded in a thick soupy haze.

Hooray for human ingenuity! Now, if we can only put all that energy into actually figuring out how to combat air pollution ...

This "impossible" jigsaw puzzle is borderline criminal genius! Now, if they only make it in all white:

Jenny Lawson of The Blogess has an unusual hobby of sorts: she collects taxidermied animals dressed up as characters from Harry Potter.

As you can see from the pic above, she's got Ron Weasel-y, Ermine-y Granger, and Mad-Eye Toady. She's still on the look out for Draco Mouse-foy, Severus Snake, Harry Otter and Dumble Dormouse.

Jesse Cottle and his wife Kelly were on a family photo shoot when photographer Sarah Ledford suggested the couple take a picture in the water. That's when Jesse - a former Marine who lost his both of legs in Afghanistan - hopped on his wife's back.

It was on patrol in Afghanistan in 2009 when Jesse's life changed forever.

"About 5 hours into that patrol, into that mission, I was struck by an anti-personnel IED," Jesse said. "It was a pressure plate, I stepped on it and lost both legs right away."

One of his fellow Marines was wearing a helmet camera, and the explosion that injured Jesse was caught on tape.

"I remember most everything," he said "I was awake the whole time."

The couple's photo has now gone viral on Facebook, as explained by KTVB7: Link

[image removed per request of photographer]

If you've got basketball shoes worth thousands of dollars, regular ol' Spalding basketball just won't do.

Thankfully, Hermès has just released this: bright blue calfskin basketball priced at a whopping $12,900. From Hollywood Reporter:

The fashion brand, which has turned out footballs and soccer balls in the past, eschewed its signature orange in favor of a California-chic, cool blue for the bull calfskin ball that's made using the same hand-stitched technique as Hermes' coveted Birkin bags.

"It represents the sky, the ocean and all the beautiful pools that are a way of life in L.A. and Southern California," says Robert Chavez, Hermes U.S. CEO, who says that the exceptional quality of the leather as well as the artisanal craftsmanship account for the ball's price.

I want to find out if Oprah managed to buy this ball ...