The Mathematically Optimal Way to Dice an Onion

If you didn't learn to cook before you left your parents' home, you may have had to consult a video to learn the proper way to dice an onion. While methods vary, it's usually a straightforward operation. However, if you are a math nerd, you might worry about the uniformity of the onion pieces you are left with. Since an onion consists of round layers, and chefs cut them straight down from top to bottom to maximize both speed and safety, the pieces from the side of the onion tend to be slightly larger than the rest. 

To make the most uniformly diced onion pieces, you need to reduce the standard deviation in the size of the pieces. Radial cuts makes sense for this, but it does nothing for the safety of the knife wielder. And using math, we find that it actually increases the standard deviation in size because of the smaller pieces in the middle. There is another cutting technique that will reduce that standard deviation, and you can learn all about it at The Pudding. Personally, I find no correlation between the consistency of onion pieces and the enjoyment of the finished dish, but your mileage may vary.  -via kottke, who mainly admired the onion font in the article.