A Delightfully Wrong Geek Valentine's Day Card

Jarts were one of the best toys of all time. Nothing makes a man out of a boy more than pulling a Jart out of his leg.
The trickest Jart shot of all was the "over the roof" high altitude lob. That sucker came down like a V-2 rocket.

Crow: But didn't you little kinds back on Earth get burnt?

Joel: Yeah I'll say we got burnt. We got burnt all the time. It was just part of what went with the territory when you got to make your own cool plastic toys. We had a saying when I was growing up "Learn with the Creepy Crawler Maker... Burn with the Creepy Crawler Maker"

Tom: Well what happened? I mean why can't kids today play with the Thing-Maker or all the neat accessories here, like the Creepy Crawlers, or the Fun Flowers, or the Fright Factory, or the Picadoos (?), or the Fright Men, or the Mini-Dragons, or the EEKS!

Joel: I'll tell you why. Because some little kids wrecked it for everybody. They'd get burnt and go screaming up stairs to their mommies. The Mom's would call the FDA. The FDA would call the manufacturer, and before you could say "It's Mattel, It's swell" the great goop factories of Taiwan were shut down forever.

Tom: You know I was just reading something about that the other day. There were lots or really fun toys hauled off the market during the 60's because kids were careless.

Joel: I'll say, the Susie Homemaker Oven, The Whamo Air Blaster...

Tom: Lawn Darts

Joel: ...Lawn darts, and Creepy Crawlers, the Vertibird. The list goes on and on...

Tom: Vacuform...

Crow: Poor dumb kids. They never even knew.

In regards to most of the toys... stupid kids and lazy parents ruin it for everyone. We had sky dancers, we never hurt ourselves with them. We were careful and not retarded.

except for the atomic energy thing, that's kinda scary

Aww, I loved my sky dancer.

I learned the hard way that Lawn darts at kid parties is a bad idea... OUCH!

I loved Sky Dancers. I only ever had a mini one, but it made me pretty damn happy.

And creepy crawlers. My brother had one, but I couldn't play with it because it was for 'Ages 8 and up', while I was not yet eight. I later bought it from him for $10 and made awesome stuff with the eraser goop.

I still have a set of lawn darts somewhere.

Sky Dancers taken off the market?! Then why are the shelves at the W-M I work at crammed with the things? I kid you not, they're about as popular as Bratz dolls. (Now THERE is something that needs to be taken off the market...ugh...)

I guess they redesigned them or something. But they're still being sold, trust me!

--TwoDragons

yikes! i was just reading about that poisoned russian spy in the economist. know what did it? "alpha source in handy container," as offered by the atomic playkit.

the toys Iplayed with in the sixties were`nt really dangerous ,it`s just that kids have gotten dumber by being protected from every imaginable threat ! I had an air blaster pistol from whamo and would have to say it was one of the most fun toys I had !never got hurt , never hurt anyone !also had a creepy crawler set !can say the same thing about it ! I really feel sorry for kids in this time of over protection and pc bull c**p !