11. The word “artisan” just thrown in at random throughout the menu
Let's say you find yourself on vacation, walking hungrily through the streets of a trendy district. You're in the mood for... a small plate of something. Maybe some childhood comfort food updated with edible flowers and shaved Brussels sprouts, artfully woven into place by an intense man with an equally intense beard.
Suffice it to say if the above is what you're hankerin' for, you'll need to know the sure signs of a hipster establishment. One in which an egg isn't good enough. It's where you'll only find fresh farm eggs from free range chicksters.
4. Tables that were never meant to be tables.