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Sponge Bikini Cleans the Ocean as You Swim

The Sponge Suit is made of an absorbent material that fits inside a 3D printed shell. The fabric absorbs pollutants in the water and seals them away from the skin. It releases the contaminants only when subjected to extreme heat. The designers explain how it works:

This material has multi-model porosity (micro/mezzo/macro porous) that allows it to be a light yet strong absorber with its undulating texture (visible through Electron Microscope). Absorbing everything but water, the material is a powerful tool for water and contaminant separation. The super-porous nature allows the Sponge to absorb in high capacity, up to 25 times of its own weight depending on the density of the substance absorbed. The Sponge does not release the absorbed materials unless it is heated in high temperatures (1,000 degrees Celsius) to re-obtain its original liquid form. This property allows the Sponge to be recyclable as the liquid form is ready to be reshaped having been separated from its contaminants.

-via Inhabitat

This just... wow. This has to be the stupidest thing I've seen in, well, there was that belligerent reverend on Twitter earlier today sooo... at least 12 hours. But certainly at least the second stupidest in months.

If the claim that it absorbs everything but water is true, then it's going to be clogged with the various ions that constitute the salt part of saltwater in oh... somewhere around instantly. Or maybe it only catches larger molecules like organics and stuff. Too bad the ocean is naturally filled with plenty of those too. Or, best case, it somehow magically bonds only the evil pollutants that you've encountered by swimming in the runoff from a fertilizer plant or some such. Well then congratulations- you've made the ocean cleaner at a sub-homeopathic level for only, I dunno, probably a three figure price at least? I mean, they got the phrase 3D printed in there, so that makes it instantly advanced or something, right?

I'm reading the description on their page trying to find the words to succinctly articulate how stupid some of the claims are and I... I just can't. I'm done.

Also, sorry if that was ranty. Every day I can feel a little more of the old man inside me wanting to break free. A few more years and it'll be nothing but letters to the editor concerning minor grievances about today's youth.
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