A Vending Machine in the First Century

Heron of Alexandria was an inventor who died around 70 AD. He actually conceived the first vending machine to dispense holy water in temples.  

That machine came about thanks to the handiwork of Heron of Alexandria. Now, Heron invented plenty of things that helped set the stage for our modern society. Steam engine? He was all over it. A wind-powered machine? That was him. The syringe? He got there first.

But many of these things pale in comparison to the machine he created that efficiently ensured that people weren't taking too much holy water at the temples where they went to worship. It was an annoying, frustrating problem, but Heron came up with a solution that was immensely clever.

It was a simple but ingenious mechanical device that used the weight of a coin to temporarily open the floodgates. It wasn’t a big hit, though, and the idea was shelved for 1800 years. But then the history of vending machines really takes off. Ernie Smith runs down the highlights of vending machine history for us in an article at Atlas Obscura.


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Well, see; You turn the handle up there and it turns this handle here, and the other handle, uh... No, that's the one you hold there and it... Wait, give me a hand here. You hold that while I... Hey, what's that adjusting thing there? Go ahead and try it... Doh! Now you've messed it up, see? It'll never work now!

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Down on the farm toothpaste was ordered via the Sears Catalog, and was a luxury item. Back when people brushed their teeth once a week whether they needed it or not, this was also sold in the catalog as a toothpaste tube squeezer so you could get every last drip.

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When television was first invented, lazy people were begging for a way to change the channel when they didn't have kids around to do it for them. Early developers considered the use of multiple connecting handles the best way to keep the television controller functional in different seating situations.

Unfortunately, the lazy culture of the time found these controllers too complicated to master, and decided to just keep the children home from school and available to turn the set on and off or change the channel for them. This is why most adults in this country can barely read or write or think for themselves.

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It's ironic that should show up here. It was designed for the Writer's Workshop of Ashville, NC. It was used in a class as the McGuffin for a story to be made up on the spot, and thus is known as a "hack saw."

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This is a Japanese torpedo winder from WW2. You know when those torpedos are shot in all the war movies? THey never how you scenes of the sailors laboriously winding up the little propellers. The US navy were the first to have electric torpedo winders, although early in the war they malfunctioned and wound them the wrong way so they ran backwards and sometimes hit our own subs. Today's submarines come with pre-wound torpedoes.

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It's a handlizer, produced by DARPA in 1979 as inspired by the writings of Dr. Seuss. It's three levers that, when turned or pulled, simply move another lever.

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