Football players are drafted based on their athletic ability and not because they're great singers or dancers, so when NFL players make a music video it's almost guaranteed to be a train wreck.
Here's an assortment of music videos created by NFL teams in the 1980s- you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll love the hilariously cheesy fun of it all!
1. Chicago Bears - Superbowl Shuffle (1985)
The 80s NFL music video trend began with the Chicago Bears doin’ the Superbowl Shuffle way back in 1985, and when the other squads saw the power of song and dance they all wanted to get on that express train to stardom.
2. Seattle Seahawks - Locker Room Rock (1985)
The Seattle Seahawks were following in the footsteps of the Bears when they released Locker Room Rock in 1985, but why did they feel the need to make a music video? “’Cause the Blue Wave is on a roll!”
3. and 4. The L. A. Rams - Ram It (1986) and The L.A. Raiders - Silver and Black Attack (1986)
Not to be outdone by the Bears and Seahawks, two Los Angeles based teams released their own rugged football fight songs- The L.A. Rams with “Ram It” and the L.A. Raiders with “Silver And Black Attack”.
The Ram’s song sounds a bit dirty, but they’re actually talking about, well, um....I'm not really sure what they're talking about, you're gonna have to decide for yourself on this one!
True to form the Raiders kept their track rough and tumble, and totally gangsta, even though Howie Long hardly screams.
5. Washington Redskins - Thanks 12th Man! (1986)
When it was time for the Washington Redskins to record their own music video they decided to dedicate the track to the most important people in their lives- the fans!
Their video "Thanks 12th Man!" is all about how much they love their fans, and as a favor to them fans were invited to look ridiculous alongside their favorite players.
6. and 7. - Dallas Cowboys Christmas songs- I Don't Want To Be Home For Christmas (1985) & The Twelve Days Of Christmas (1986)
1985 and 1986 weren't particularly great years for the Dallas Cowboys, but under the leadership of legendary coach Tom Landry they managed to record some mediocre Christmas music videos!
Here's their touching rendition of "I Don't Want To Be Home For Christmas":
And for their next selection the Cowboys dusted off that old Yuletime chestnut- "The Twelve Days of Christmas":
8. Philadelphia Eagles - Buddy's Watching You (1988)
Many NFL players wanted to get in on the rising 80s rap game, and show they had both the brawn and the lyrical skills to pull off a mighty rap attack.
Here’s the Philadelphia Eagles doing their own hip hop thang with the creepy sounding track "Buddy's Watching You":
9. San Francisco 49ers rap (1989)
And here’s one from The Golden State- it's those gridiron gangstas the 88-89 San Francisco 49ers with a funky track called "The 49ers Rap":
10. Cincinnati Bengals - The Who-Dey Rap (1989)
The Bengals came to the music video party a bit late with a track called "The Who-Dey Rap", but ultimately the video was ruled out of bounds due to overuse of digital cowbell.
11. Miami Dolphins - Can't Touch Us (1989)
And then the Miami Dolphins put the final nail in the coffin of a trend that proved something all fans already knew- football players shouldn’t quit their day jobs!
Here’s “Can’t Touch Us” By Cory and the Fins:
I hope you’ve had a ton of fun watching giant football playing behemoths trying to sing and dance their mighty hearts out, but wait, THERE'S MORE!
May I present to you the coup de grace of crazy football videos- a fantasy adventure called "Master of the Gridiron" starring the Cleveland Browns.
BONUS VIDEO! Cleveland Browns - Master of the Gridiron (1986)
Dont you hate it when you're reading a Conan comic book and out of nowhere BAM! You and the rest of your teammates are turned in to barbarian warriors?!