Part of good parenting is teaching children to become self-sufficient. Sure, you could answer the question yourself. But what will she do when you, too, aren’t around anymore?
It’s just a pity that the internet is not immediately helpful in this case.
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Being permissive and nice hadn't worked with my children. Begging, bartering, harassing and even politely asking hadn't worked either. But perhaps a pragmatic, tough-minded Machiavellian strategy would. With "The Prince" in hand, I set out to become a full-fledged Machiavellian mom.
There are options other being permissive and being an emotional manipulator.
Some of the things she did, as Miss C points out, are normal parenting. But intentionally pitting family members against each other? No. That's messed up.
My wife and I use 1-2-3 Magic. It works well for us.