(Reluctant Groom Cake Topper now on sale at the NeatoShop)
One of the best pieces of marital advice that I encountered while I was engaged was, "Take your wedding vows seriously."
Samantha Joel has a similar idea. She's a doctoral student in psychology and is engaged to be married. She's written ten phrases that can be used in wedding vows. These reflect what psychological research reveals to be successful traits of enduring relationships. Each of her vows are followed by a psychological explanation and footnotes to support her claims. Here's an example:
6. I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune and celebrate your triumphs.
This vow covers the other side of being a good attachment figure: being there for your partner when they’re not distressed. Basically, my partner and I both want to know that we can take risks, make mistakes, and come home to a supportive partner at the end of the day. Letting your partner go out and conquer their goals, knowing that you’re there in the background cheering them on, is called being a “secure base”.7
-via Dear Wendy
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"holding people to their obligations" is exactly the same thing a loan shark, drug dealer, pimp or many other nefarious professionals would say to sound just. Though the obligations may not have been justly accrued in the first place.
Not that the phrase itself is toxic. But the indiscriminate use of it is more like propaganda than a belief.
Here in Australia you borrow from the bank an amount of money that covers the cost of the house (minus any deposit you have up front) - the contract between you and the bank is that amount of money. If you can't pay the bank seeks to recover the remainder of that loaned money through such things as sale of assets (the house is first of course), re-arranged payment plan, or seeking out the person that guaranteed your loan if the bank thought the risk was too high and asked for a guarantor. The loan is purely over money which the borrower is obliged to repay.
I don't see how walking away form a loan and a house can legally work? Is the agreement different to a loan of money?
Hello USA, welcome to the rest of the world.
Typically, though not always, your primary loan is a secured loan - it's secured with the title of the house you bought. So if you walk away from that loan, your bank gets the house (but nothing else - even if that house is worth less than the loan).
Secondary loans are almost always recourse loans - so your bank will go after you for every penny of their money.