Quite a few companies have regretted their decision to promote something-or-other by offering to select a name by internet poll. However, the suggestions for exoplanets shown in the latest xkcd panel are awesome. I Like Neil Tyson's Mustache, Emergency Backup Earth, and Waist-deep Cats the best. Link
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My mother had a solution for her roommates' food thievery in college (eons ago). She baked Ex-Lax brownies, put them in a container clearly labeled "[mom's name]'s brownies, for medical use only".
It was the last thing her roommates ever stole.
"put them [thin mints] in the freezer next time...unless you don't like having your MIND BLOWN!"
http://www.hulu.com/watch/144704/saturday-night-live-update-john-mulaney