12-Year-Old's Public Punishment for Theft: Tough Love or Child Abuse?

When Joseph Gonzalez found out that his 12-year-old son Jose stole $100 from a family member's wallet, the father decided to punish him in this unusual way:

Jose's punishment is spending many hours of his spring break standing on the corner of 22nd and Larimer streets in downtown Denver with a bright yellow sign announcing: "I am a thief. I took money from a family member." [...]

Jose put in five hours of curbside confession Tuesday, standing across from his father's pawnshop, where Gonzalez could keep an eye on him — and take him pizza slices.

He figures Jose, with drinks and bathroom breaks, should be able to put in 10 hours Thursday.

This was Jose's first theft - and his father hopes, with this punishment, there won't be a second. But what about the kid's reputation? The father wasn't concerned:

"Nah, he's only 12 years old," he said. "Everybody makes mistakes at that time in their life. It's about being corrected."

Denver Post's Electa Draper has the story: Link (Photo: Joe Amon/The Denver Post)

What do you think Neatoramanauts? Tough love or child abuse?


Back to the middle ages.

For Shame, For Shame: How to End Shaming When Disciplining
"First, discipline is not about punishing, nor about getting even. Discipline is about correcting and teaching appropriate behavior. Secondly, the rule “praise in public, reprimand in private,” is important to remember. When parents shame their children in public by yelling, name-calling, and even spanking, the parent-child relationship is broken down more than the behavior is corrected. Although, not intended, the parents’ own embarrassment, disappointment and shame are projected onto the child."

Is publicly humiliating your child a form of abuse?
"While it may kill the initial problem, its long-term consequences can be incredibly damaging, Mr. Walters says. He points to ample evidence from academic research that shows that when parents consistently use shaming as a punishment, these children grow up to be more depressed, anxious and less confident than children who aren’t subjected to such discipline."
...
"The bottom line for experts is that there is an important distinction between humiliation and disapproval: It’s healthy for parents to object to misbehaviour and to explain that it results in bad consequences, but humiliation is about attacking the child’s self-esteem, and that is not okay, said Mr. Walters."
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The only thing that I see wrong here, and it is not a small detail, is the message. Tell a kid he's a thief and he will be.

'I have done something wrong' or 'I will never steal again' are much better options.
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I had a friend years ago in high school. He had a dollar stuck in the lower corner of a framed poster that hung on the wall in his room. We were friends for quite some time, so finally one day, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked him what the dollar was for.

He told me that when he was younger, he wanted to buy a comic book and his mom was at work. His dad was home, but was asleep on the couch (he worked nights). My friend took a single dollar bill out of his dad's wallet and went and bought a comic book and a coke.

When he got home his dad asked him where he'd gotten the money (because he just so happened to know EXACTLY how much money was in his wallet) and caught my friend red handed.

He said he was sent to his room and later that evening his dad came in with another dollar bill in his hand. He tucked it into the corner of the framed poster and told my friend that it had better be in that same place every time he came into that bedroom from then on. When he asked why, his dad told him it was so he would remember that rather than wake up his dad and *ask* for a dollar (which he would have gladly given), he stole one.

It was there all the years I knew him in high school. I know he had it in college, and I think my friend STILL has that dollar bill to this day.
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This is for the people who want to say this is child abuse...this is parenting. Let's get this straight if you are a parent you didn't have kids so you could be their best friend. You had kids because you wanted to teach them and see them grow and "have a better life than you had". Kids these days need more discipline. We have become a way too tolerant society for bad behavior and we are afraid to punish our kids because it is not "politically correct" and there are other ways. A stern lecture does not make a point...standing for hours outside carrying a sign makes a point. How about we leave parenting to the parents and stay out of their business when it comes to what punishment they decide.
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Thank God! A father who teaches accountability. The boy stole and must understand the rammifications of his actions. This is not abuse. Would it be abuse if he had to spend time in Juvie if he stole from a store and got caught? Smart Dad. And Sindingo, a lecture? When parents talk all a 12 year old hears is 'Blah blah blah'.
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The only problem I could see is if this kid stands out there so long he does not care anymore. Then you have actually turned it so he is no longer embarrased or ashamed about stealing from family.

It is in no way abuse. He man said he is right across from the shop and is watching and feeding his son and he can use the store bathroom. I know many people that worked on their feet 12 hour days starting at 16. Making a 12 year old stand is not abuse in this case.
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Go dad! The kid made a horrible choice; his consequence is just as horrible (to a 12 yr old).

On the other hand, hopefully he'll learn to keep his hands to himself and not to be sneakier next time.
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I agree that he needs to be corrected but that's a pretty harsh way of going about it. He's being made to stand out there for hours on end. A couple of hours plus a stern lecture on how what he did was wrong should be enough. It's also a complete waste of time. Why not make him help out in the store or something? If that kid doesn't grow up hating his father it will be a miracle.
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