Just Friends

The ONLY thing that really stands in the way of cross-gender friendships is the silly assumption that it can't happen. It's really annoying when you go out with an other-gender friend to have dinner or enjoy an evening like you would with any other friend, and everyone just assumes you are on a romantic date (especially people in the service industry). Put aside your stupid assumptions and it's really quite simple.

But can they ever be just "just friends"?

Yes, you can be just friends. I mean, are you really sexually attracted to every member of your preferred gender? Surely you can enjoy the company of someone you don't want to sleep with.

Of course you can be just friends. If the circumstances are right. Yet, if you believe that in a cross-gender platonic relationship there isn't a constant potential for sexual attraction or romantic feelings, you are either very young, or very naive.

It is much easier for women to answer the "just friends" question with "yes" because of the process through which females search for a mate, which is much more rigorous than that of males.

For men, on the other hand, giving the answer is a bit more difficult. Even if we mentally reject a woman as a potential sexual partner (which happens rarely) due to circumstances like already having a girlfriend, the unparticular attractiveness of the women or other reasons I can't think of now because I just woke up and hadn't had my coffee yet, there is always the chance that circumstances might change and the female friend to be thrown into the pool of women we want to have sex with.

If this sounds sick to you ladies, don't blame us men, blame evolution. Or God. It depends on your personal beliefs (or political orientation).

I've got several male friends. There's nothing sexual or romantic about it. I think of them more like brothers than anything else.
And I agree with Dev totally.

I don't know. I find that any woman I'm friends with and enjoy being around, I'll have some sexual attraction to. It's the personality I'm attracted to and I don't see how you can divorce a great friend who is of your sexual preference from all sexual feelings. It's possible to refrain from engaging that aspect but out of all the female friends I've had and refrained from following up on the sexual attractiveness, I would have definitely agreed to it if they had initiated it.

I think some women who believe they are "just friends" with guys would be surprised at the reaction if they initatied a sexual relationship.

I've got female friends who are totally platonic, for whom I have no romantic/sexual feelings at all. Not many, to be honest, but some.

I've also got female friends toward whom I have both friendly feelings and sexual attraction, but I keep the attraction to myself for one reason or another (one of us is in a relationship, she's not into guys, she's made it clear that she's not interested, etc.). I think that's more common, but true platonic friendship is absolutely possible.

@MadMolecule

Ok, so those female friends that you have no romantic feelings for, are you sure they feel the same way? If not, then it's not completely platonic.

I dunno, maybe my definition of friend is more intimate. I have a large group of acquaintances that I would, for example, invite to a large party, or invite out with a group and yes, there are females there that I can say I don't have romantic feelings for but I don't call them friends in my mind although I might say, "yes" if someone asked if they were my friend.

Friends are people I'm excited to hang out with even one on one and that make me laugh and that I have fun with. I can't see how I wouldn't be romantically attracted to those women. I just don't understand how could anyone not be?

Splint Chesthair, they say their feelings for me are just friendly. That's all I have to go on, and I believe them. There's one in particular with whom I'm very close. About once a week, when our schedules permit, the two of us go out to a local bar and drink beer for a few hours and talk about our lives and maybe watch a football or hockey game or something. Then we give each other a hug and she goes home to her boyfriend. He's also a friend of mine, incidentally, though I'm not as close with him as with her, and he absolutely knows where she is when we're out together. I'm not one for sneaking around.

In other words, yes, I'm talking about a good, close friend. Such friendships are rare between genders, but heck, they're rare within one gender too.

I believe you. Guess it depends on the person. I am attracted to the fact that my girlfriend is my best friend and always have been. I don't think I could not be attracted to a woman I was having a great time being around.

I used to have what I thought were platonic friendships with the guys I worked with at various radio stations. I was married, so were some of them, and we had a lot in common with our profession -and spent a lot of time together. But as soon as I got a divorce, I found out that several of them were ready to swoop in on fresh meat.