Visual Birth Control

Parents will look at this site and say, "Oh, I remember when..."

My kids used to take things from the kitchen into their bedroom and make a real mess while I was at work and their daddy was watching TV, oblivious to anything that wasn't making a lot of noise. Once I came home to find they had taken a 3-pound tub of fake butter and had a food fight in the bedroom. It was all over, including the ceiling. I marched in there as mad as could be and immediately slipped and fell on my butt. That would have made a good contribution to this site.

I've never wanted kids, and yet inexplicably, this website set my clock a tickin'. Possibly because I'm comparing the antics of those kids to that of the trials of raising my obnoxious dog. I'm suddenly saying to myself "well, maybe having kids wouldn't be so bad after all. I totally have a 6th sense for keeping obnoxoids out of trouble now..."

I can try and describe the feelings you get when you realize your baby learned how to get his or her hands deep into the back of a poopy diaper but really, I doubt Hemingway himself could do it justice.

"Diaper Mustard Blowout" That sounds about right.

There I was holding my baby bratling waiting to be called on stage for an award. Just as they called my name, I looked down to discover that my hand, shirt front, and jacket were being covered with a thick mustardy sauce. I never knew what to call that incident before.

Oh good old visual birth control. :D This is now a site to visit when I have some sort of hormonal amnesia and think "Well, so and so and so and so have a baby and MAYBE I should rethink this not having kids thing." SMKR you are a new found friend.

The best birth control in the world is other people's children. Case closed.

Nope, I still want to have kids more than ever :D
I'd gladly take all of that and then some if it means I have a family.

This is probably the only form of Abstinence education that actually works.

I love my dogs.

For the permanent marker/crayon/fingerpaint/etc....I can't stress enough...Crayola Color Wonder! They've got it in markers and paint....and it only shows up on the PAPER! This product is a parent's best friend, and since my toddler loves to color...well, you get the idea.

I did find him adorning a door with a dry erase marker once, but I made him scrub it off. He hasn't done it since.

Oh, thanks for posting this, although I think my dog has ruined more stuff than my kid.

LisaL, best of luck to you. Write me sometime and I'll tell you how I came to have seven children without ever giving birth.

Yes the time my two little girls put a fork in the waterbed to figure out what was in there. or the time my little girl picked all the flowers in the neighbors yard. Or the time my little boy pulled his pants down to protest having to sit in santas sleigh for a picture, horrifying all the kids and mothers.Only mothers understand what you face.

this site should be called "shit my shitty parenting wrought" OR "teach your kids not to fuck shit up under penalty of losing their lives"

I babysat two monsters once. They knew me, so I was not a stranger but I had never had to discipline them before. I was ready for a tough night. They drove their mother insane 24 hours a day. And I had seen them in action.

The minute she walked out the door, they sat down, had their dinner quietly and cleanly in front of their favorite show, then they asked to watch a video on their folk's bed and announced to me that they were going to sleep about an hour before their usual bedtime. They KNEW they would not get away with anything with me - without a word from me. And they didn't get any of the pleasure of manipulating their mother to the point of making her cry almost every day. So, they behaved and had a nice evening at home without her.

Kids need rules, that's all. Rules do not exclude fun. But rules help kids be free of most of the other behavioral options available to them, like what you see in these pictures.

Dog food spill? Pshaw! That's nothing compared to this beauty:

That is the result of trying to raise free-range indigo children. There is a difference between teaching your children free-expression and individuality tempered with restraint and consideration for others' space versus encouraging to them to let their id run amok.