This has got to be one of the most poignant things I've ever read. When 7-year-old Asa Hill died after a car accident, his parents honored the young boy's lifelong wish that they get married. And married they did, right after their child's funeral:
The Rev. Joel Miller of The Unitarian Universalist Church of Elmwood, where the service was held, was unsure at first when the idea of a wedding was proposed by the couple and their family.
"I asked twice, 'We're doing a wedding?' This was new for me. I never did a funeral service and a wedding ceremony at the same time, and normally wouldn't, but they have known each other since they were teens," Miller said. "And they had been providing for Asa, and they made a home together for all of Asa's life. ... It was clear they were following through on something they had been talking about for some time."
Hill and Ghirmatzion have been best friends since they were 15 and have been together for almost half of their lives. After Asa was born, marriage had always been something that they considered but, according to Hill, both felt that a wedding was "superficial and not necessary."
Asa, however, was insistent that they make their union official. "Asa really wanted us to do it, and every time he would ask us
we would say, 'Yes, we'll get married,' " said Hill. But the couple never did get around to figuring out the logistics for a ceremony.While holding his lifeless son in his arms at the hospital, Hill was moved to finally officially propose to his lifelong partner. "Rahwa was overwhelmed at that moment and just looked at me. When the family sat down to plan the funeral service, she said 'Let's get married.' And everyone broke down at the table," he said.
Jean Shin of CNN has the moving story: Link
Kinda pathetic, actually. Why would it have mattered to a 7-yr-old if they were married?
Ted is wrong.
Honoring the memory by going forward into the future with love and shared experience.
Now, excuse me...I think I've got some dust in my eye or something.
When GWB's sister died alone and all but forgotten, the Bushes played a round of golf rather than bother with a funeral.
If you are going to mourn, mourn. The day is not about you, but about the dead. Anything else is purely self-centered.
I have to agree with emmakate - it's closing the barn door after the horses have left, a barn door that didn't need to be closed in the first place. They had provided for him. As a memory, some people get tattoos, others get married. Whatever floats your boat.
If we all follow your logic, emmakate, why bother having charity, monuments, heck even tombstones for the dead. They certainly don't care anymore :)
And Ted - the point is that it did matter to the boy, and that the parents did something to honor his wish. Whether or not you, I or everyone else think that it should or shouldn't matter actually doesn't factor into it at all.
It does, because this was not a private event, but a well-publicized event. That is what makes me think that the funeral/marriage service was self-centered and self-serving. The media was invited, and now we have to wait and see if a Lifetime movie is in the works.
Is it really cynical to think that this was about the kid and his wish, or about 15 minutes and everything that may follow?
How many kids wish to have a tombstone?
That's the point Alex is making, it's not about the one who died, it's about doing something for someone in death because it's something they desired in life. Hell if I care though whats done for me when I'm dead, throw me in a ditch and let me rot for all I care. It's just meat & bone. I agree with the couple that marriage doesn't mean much to people if they are in love, but symbolically it was the last gift they wanted to give to their son. The media grabs onto whatever it can get it's grubby hand on if it's considered newsworthy, which can be a cat in a freaking tree on a slow news day.
Eh, that's just my .02
I think this is a beautiful way for the family to celebrate.
It also matters to most people to respect the last wishes of the deceased. Calling that "pathetic" is just low class.
"He would have wanted us to celebrate his life, not grieve his death" or "she would have wanted such-and-such" are too often bandied about during funerals.
Funny how something that was "superficial and not necessary" suddenly became a "miraculous act of courage, strength, and love". Too bad it took the death of their son for them to realize it. That's why it's kinda pathetic - I know, it's blunt, but I don't mean it in a derogatory way.
I live in Buffalo where this accident happened, and the story of the 8 car pile-up where bystanders stopped to pull people out of burning cars is still mentioned on the news. I know common-law marriage is not recognized in NY.