Chuck Norris Protects Croatian Bakery From Burglars

Tired of getting burglarized regularly, a bakery in Split, Croatia, decided to solicit the protection of a certain Hollywood action star. At least in spirit:

The posh bakery shop in Split, Croatia, had often been broken until they put up the poster of the karate champ with a sign saying: "This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris."

Now the bakery hasn't had a single burglary for more than a month. "People seem to respect him," said a sales assistant. (Photo:

Best Chuck Norris Fact in the comment about this post gets a Free Neatorama T-shirt. Ready, Set, Chuckify!

Update 5/13/09 - Congratulations to chrome who won with this bakery-themed Chuck Norris Fact: the bakers briefly switched the bear claws with "chuck norris claws" how ever the lack of survivors ran down business.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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While everyone is thinking about all kinds of fake fun facts in adulation of this idiot, here's a real one:

Chuck Norris an anti-science religious extremist who thinks that your children should be taught his religion in school, and that the government should legislate morality under the guiding hand of the church.
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Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
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My favorites:

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris never pays taxes. He simply sends a picture of himself to the IRS of him crouching in an attack stance.
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-Superman has a Chuck Norris poster on his wall.

-When Chuck Norris falls in the water, he does not get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

-Under Chuck Norris' beard there is no chin, only another fist.

-Chuck Norris actually died twenty five years ago, it's just that Death hasn't had the courage to tell him.

-Chuck Norris once had a wet dream in the cab of a semi truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity. TWICE.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesnt really push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Chuck Norris can go to a burger king and ask for a big mac and actually receive one.

Chuck Norris sat behind Jesus in third Grade

Chuck Norris can make a plane explode by just pointing at it and say bang
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
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Neatorama once tried to post a full article dedicated to Chuck Norris ... the server crashed due to awesomeness...

...thus Neatorama can only post "mentions" of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

(Sorry, didn't realize that others had used the facts I had.)
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The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
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@ Not Me, #65:

I've got one even worse than that.

Chuck Norris likes his women like he likes his whiskey -- 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

I know it doesn't play into the whole "chuck is a god" kind of image, but its still pretty wrong.
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-Chuck Norris once attended a frat party and proceeded to roundhouse kick every popped collar in sight
-Similar to a Russian nesting dolls, if you were to break open Chuck Norris, you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only angrier.
-Before going on stage, Chuck Norris breaks somebody else's leg for good luck.
-The only person who cried when Chuck Norris was born was the doctor. NEVER slap Chuck Norris.
-He can grate Parmesan cheese with his beard.
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According to this TV report:[tt_news]=83367&tx_ttnews[backPid]=136&cHash=82a5d0bb0c

Bakery owner says that in 6 years there were no burglaries, but that they put up Chuck's poster only after someone asked him how come he never had any problems with crime for 6 years since the bakery was opened.
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