Since we're coming up on Halloween, this struck me as particularly funny. Here's an excerpt by Andrew Meek, head to McSweeney's for the rest.
"I am also less than pleased with the facilities. The en suite décor is twee to the point of insult. All bathrooms should be brilliant white to contrast with the emission of certain bodily fluids or chocolate sauce. My bathtub is green. Dark green. This simply will not do."