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Smuggler Sculpted Jesus Statue Out of Cocaine

Here's a strange tale of one drug smuggler who sculpted cocaine into a statue of Jesus, complete with painted-on flowing hair and a gold cape:

A drug dealer named The Spider is wondering why his Jesus Christ still hasn't appeared in Dallas. Thanks to an unusual bust by federal agents in Laredo, they're not going to connect.

Drug traffickers mixed as much as six pounds of the illicit white powder into a paste and used it to make a regal statue of the Christian savior, complete with painted-on flowing hair and a gold cape.

Smugglers were likely hoping the statue, which could be worth as much as $30,000 on the streets, would be dismissed by border guards as just another of the hundreds of plaster representations hawked to borderland tourists.

But a dog trained to sniff out drugs confirmed it was anything but another religious memento.


They should have sculpted it into dog biscuits. That way, the officers would just chuckle at Fido for sniffing out tasty treats. Ok, dumb idea. But not as dumb as coke christ!
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Wow! Is nothing sacred? Actually, I think this is hilarious. It's a pretty nice looking sculpture from the photo actually. If it hadn't been for the dogs I bet this would have gone through the border no problem and people would be getting high on the lord right now.
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Not iambic pentameter. For one thing, there are six paired syllables, not five. For another, cocaine is double accented, removing the requisite soft syllable in iambic.

This is one of those things that makes me thing illegal drug users are stupid. Your cocaine was once mixed with paste and paint and God knows what else.
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And then shoved up someone's butt.
There are probably a lot more where that came from. Sure looks like a cast, and not a one-time sculpture.
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No need to mix with paste or glue or anything. Cocaine in its pure form can be pressed into bricks that are rock-hard with no added ingredients. No reason that couldn't be done with a statue mold.
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What a retard. It's not like drug-sniffing dogs are anything new. I've seen them frequently used by customs agents on the U.S./ Canadian border, so you *KNOW* they must be typical on the southern border.
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