Quote: Steven Wright on the Uncertainty Principle

Alex

"I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost."

- Steven Wright, comedian (b. 1955)


Comments (1)

Newest 1
Newest 1 Comment

This appears to be a gentleman's lice removal tool. Properly positioned by placing his organ in the lower chamber with handle pointing away from body, hot coal was placed on the upper pan. A slight tilting of the handle up and toward the body sent the hot coal off the pan, over the spikes, setting the pubic hair aflame. When the lice ran into the clearing, they were quickly dispatched by repeated stabbing from the three prongs.

Forest Hitchhikers forest green medium
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
This is the original prototype Spork. During testing it was found that users would often impale their upper lip on fork portion , and that the spoon portion failed to hold any liquid. The first Spork patent, based on this prototype, was issued to Samuel W. Francis under US Patent 147,119 in February 1874.

The lesser of Two Weevils, XL Black.
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
We use that every thanksgiving when carving the bird. It's a combination turkey peeler-serving fork. For use with the combination carving knife-nail clipper.

Inappropriate xl
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Ultimate s'mores tool, you place the first graham cracker & a liberal serve of chocolate in the lower tray; roast not one, not two, but three marshmallows on the prongs; whilst the marshmallows cook the chocolate melts; finally slide the final cracker off the top tray and enjoy perfection.

P and A (Medium)
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
It's a rodent/mole removing tool. The flat end stops the mole from moving along in their burrow, and then the picks come down and pin/stab the mole. Krampus Greetings 2XL
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
The traditional tool for preparing "Absinthe corn on the cob".
Slide your corn into the bottom tray, sugar cube (or these days, maybe a cube of slpenda) on top of the prongs, slowly pour your Absinthe.......and bingo ! A tasy treat made by green faeries !!!
* Note that this also works well with candy bars and hot-dogs, too!

Lovecraft's canned octopus
large
black
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
It is obviously a sspecial device that serves for picking up cigarette stubs with the spikes, the "shovel" serves for picking up half full packs of cigaretttes and the flat part may serce as portalbe ashtray for the cigaretts recycled from colletected cigarette stubs...
Only rarely used by fashionate hobos in the early 1920th...

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Never-Grow-Up
2X ladies fit suggested colour
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
It's a cheese plate server. The bottom is used for shaving slices from large blocks of cheese. The prongs are used to fend off all the mice that show up.

Inappropriate XL
Abusive comment hidden. (Show it anyway.)
Login to comment.
Email This Post to a Friend
"Quote: Steven Wright on the Uncertainty Principle"

Separate multiple emails with a comma. Limit 5.

 

Success! Your email has been sent!

close window
X

This website uses cookies.

This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By using this website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

I agree
 
Learn More