Caption Monkey 14: Fat Coot!

Photo: Chirpy UK [Flickr] - via Cute Overload

Whoa! I've been so busy with life/work/baby that I missed posting the Caption Monkey contest yesterday. But fret not, gentle readers, here it is.

The bird is a coot [wiki] - a particularly fat specimen of one, actually. Coots are named so because of their "coot" calls. No words whether those large toes help 'em float on water.

Now, onto the contest. Ape Lad of Hobotopia has generously agreed to award a monkey (or any other animal) drawing to one lucky reader with the funniest caption.

Contest rules are darned simple: place your caption in the comment section below. One caption per comment, however you can submit as many funny ones as you can think of. You can also vote for your favorite caption, but not your own.

One last thing: Ape Lad is selling original Laugh-Out-Loud Cats comic for $20. Here's your chance of getting one for Christmas!

Update 11/30/07 - congrats to RasmusJ #8 with the winning caption, picked by Ape Lad himself!

Harold wasn’t fond of bowling.

Hi... I'm Chubba!

And I'm fat....
My Mama's fat,
My Papa's fat,
Even my pet flea is fat.

One day, Mama said...
Chubba, can you smile under all that blubba?
I said...why sure Moma!
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It wasn't that Francine didn't want to go bottom-feeding with the rest of the girls. She would have done anything to kick her partially webbed toes in the air while struggling to nip weeds from the slime-covered bottom of St. James' Park's lagoon. Her hideously inflated digestive tract was the issue. But little did Francine know that her rather embarassing intestinal gas problem was soon to become a potentially deadly affliction; it was the 3rd annual "Let Your Dogs Run Wild in the Park" day, and a sturdy bull mastiff had just taken a shine to the poor coot's arousingly swollen hindquarters.
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.............and National Geographic photographer "Bud" Johnson paused for a moment.... fondly remembering his adorable yet chubby wife waiting for him back home 5,000 miles away ....
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Would anyone give a hoot if someone placed their foot in a steel toed boot to swiftly kick this root eating, soot colored, coot for a lot of loot?
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"Ladies and gentlemen, we here at the San Diego zoo have an important announcement for you, the press, on this sunny afternoon. Our captive breeding program, already a success with the Giant Pandas you know and love, have cross-bread a common coot, native to South America, with Star Jones. They will be hosting a new series on WTV later this year. We will take questions at this time"
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Kwaneese, gurl, lets me tell you bout dese new shoes I done picked up at tha Wal-Mart. Gurl. You know I hads to go up in there and get me a new dress to wear to Shondricack's momma's cousin's baby shower. Anyway. I had just got up on one of them ride-along carts - you know, cause I gots the elephant diseases - when I turn around there was these just FLY black and white sandals. I just threw them up on my buggy and paid for it with my food stamps. What color you think I need to paint my toenails?
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