The Book of SPAM Caption Contest - Neatorama

What did George Burns say to Gracie Allen? Funniest captions will win Free The Book of SPAM, courtesy of Simon & Schuster, reviewed previously on Neatorama.

Contest rule is darned simple: place your caption in the comment section - one caption per comment, please, but you can enter as many funny ones you can think of. And keep it clean!

Update 11/4/07 - Wow, great entries (and some not so great entries) guys! I've emailed the lucky winners, they'll get a free copy of The Book of Spam courtesy of Simon & Schuster - thank you for playing!

What's that you're eating, darling?

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Gosh! It's meat in a can - It must be...

(Surely I get extra marks because it half rhymes? ;-))

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Hey Gracie, What's Maps backwards?

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"Would you like to have a larger penis in 30 da--"

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Better than ham? And you call it...?

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"Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, SPAM SPAAAAAAM, Wonderful Spam!"

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Spim? Spom? Spum?

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Boy, I could sure go for something, eggs, sausage and something. But what?

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Save $1000s NOW by re-financing your home!

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Oh my, fresh spamcakes!

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That's not spam.. that's my frickin kneecap!

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Say SPAM, Gracie.

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Say SPAM, Gracie and WIN A FREE iPOD!!!

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No holds barred, that Spam is one breakfast meat I love to eat!

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ENTER the Funniest caption and WIN FREE THE BOOK of SPAM

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Gracie, what's your favorite mealtime comeback line of the day?

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Greetings Beloved.,, I know this email may arrive as unknown and suprised,and ope it meets regardless with your personal ethics. I am Mr. Joshua Bengal of Nigeria...

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Wait, you're telling me I can eat it AND it doesn't get all bloody once a month?

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Gosh! You s-pamper me!

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I LOVE HOW YOU FORK MY PORK!

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WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?

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SPAM?

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George: Honey, do you want my erection to last UP TO 10 TIME LONGER?!!!

Gracie: SPAM!

(its almost like shes a comic superhero and when she punches someone the word SPAM is written in BIG letters)

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dear, your skin is so smooth, what do you use?

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Spam and hotcakes! I LOVE you Gracie!

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So Gracie, what else is there to combine Spam with?

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I'll have the Spam egg Spam Spam bacon and...

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Gee, Gracie. I've reminded you every day of our marriage that I'm Jewish and can't eat pork. So ... what's for dinner?

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Delicious Spamcakes! and... OH, GOD! What is that mystery meat?!

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Hi Gracie. Tell me, is your tourettes getting any better?

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Why, Gracie, that's not bacn it's...

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Spam for breakfast. I´d like a spammer, i need this book

I´d love it & i love´d coldchiliandhotchilly.com

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I used to be a woman.

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Oh God! I hope that's not Lambchops!

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Say Gracie, what'd you make of that canned meat salesman?

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Say goodnight Spam!

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Wow, Gracie. That's an enormous plate of food!

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Dear God, no! Soilent SPAM is people! It's PEEEEOOOPLLLEEE!

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OMFG !!! Is this...

(And then Gracie answers (SPAM!))

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Gracie you don't actually eat it!

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I don't want no spam! Gimme my steak woman!

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Holy SPAM! What the HORMEL is THAT!?

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What's our virtual legacy, Gracie?

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I don't think microwaving means waving a microphone, Gracie, but let's dig into that...

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We'd better hurry, Gracie, or we'll be late for our cardio...

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Spamit Janet!

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Spam?

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Gracie, What did you do to our pet gerbil?!

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Who is the meat, who would share his tin with his brother meats?

SPAM!

You're damn right.

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"This thing I'm pointing at for money is called...."

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"...and you know gracie, if i eat it backwards i'll never have to ask for directions again!"

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PrE$CR!P†!0n DrÜ6s.

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You can eat spam in my bed anytime Gracie-I'll even take out my cigar this time!

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ooh are you realy gonna eat that?

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I love mechanically separated chicken! It's Spam-a-licous!

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You can't believe what I brought home for our all american meal honey!

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hey Gracie, bad news. i've got the runs something fierce. you know what that calls for!...

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hey Gracie, bad news. i’ve got the runs something fierce. you know what that calls for!…

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Segmented Precooked Artificial Meat: it's what's for dinner

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lolz, i've got one: what do you get when you cross Gary Thuerk with hotmail?

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Spum!
Spam!
right, Spam

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fried, baked, snorted or stewed. i gotta have my...!

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what does this growth on my thigh look like to you?

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what do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord?

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Sure babe, as long as it's certified organic.

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I can't believe it's not butter!

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Hi Grace Spamllen, can I spample some of your spam?

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I've been having SPAMtacies about SPAMwiches and SPAMbake all day!

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disc0unt v14gr4 pills & enl4rge y0r j0hnson p1llz!

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I heard last week the Tibetan monetary quit being vegetarians Gracie... any idea why?

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Gracie. Are you sure that tin you bought 20 years ago is safe to eat?

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George: Look that is the most disgusting thing I ever fu... OOOOH Shiny cannn! Must HAVE....

Gracie: Spam?

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hey gracie, the toilet's clogged again. any idea why?

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hey gracie, i'm going out to my fifties swingers party but i'm all out of hair greese, do you have anything i can use?

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Holly cow! Is that what I think it is?

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Gracie, what smells like dog waste baking on hot asphalt?

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What do you call this poster that we are in?

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See what happens when you make me cook, hunny? Now get back in the kitchen.

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My favorite!
SPAMcakes!
With SPAMsyrup!

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For the love of spam, Gracie, it's the 50s! Why haven't you learned to cook yet? And don't you dare yell "SPAM!" again or so help me...

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Made from fresh pig anus!

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...ulp...urrrp!

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Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?

SPAM!

Right on

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"Is this what happened to your brother, Gracie?"

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Gracie: "Perfect for the Surprise Party Luncheon!"

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You shined my shoes and fed the dog with what??

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You left the condensed milk from our last sponsor sitting too long and got what??

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George: "HOT!"

Gracie: "SPAM!"

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40 years from now you know what people are going to hate getting in their email?

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(singing)
S'wonderful! S'marvelous! that you should cook for me!

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A manwich is a meal, but a Spamwich is a way of life.

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No gracie Allen, I would not like them in a tunnel, nor through a funnel, not with a mouse or in a house, or in a box, or with a fox, or with some pancakes, or in a damn lake, I do not like spiced canned ham!!!

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spam burger hamburger

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We have to write our own ad now because the writers are on strike... what's the ad for again???

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Gracie, what's so great about Adam Farrington's lines?

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Gracie, I think Snappy should lure Adam Farrington into the cup of a giant slingshot, and fling him across town while making off with his fancy new book. Gee, what should we use as bait?

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Gracie, seriously... for the love of God and our marriage, stop saying spam...

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Gracie, I never loved you.

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Gracie, what does Techno Viking eat to make himself look so buff?

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Gracie honey, I can't find those socks I usually stuff into my shorts to make me look like a better man, what else can I use?

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