College Analogies

Alex

Here's a sample of the funny shenanigans you can find at Miss Cellania's post on everything College:

These are analogies and metaphors found in college essays. (Thanks, Wendy!) I can't vouch for how "actual" they are, but they are way too funny not to post!

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

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This sign reminds me of one near VCU in Virginia. As you are driving there, theres a sign that has an arrow pointing north and an arrow pointing south, Both Arrows are pointing to the left.
Its a running joke amoung all Richmonders.

(The sign is correct, There is a turn off down the road to go north.)
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Anyone besides me worry about those little packets of ketchup, mustard, dipping sauces etc.? Cuz the cashier, who doesn't wear gloves because they are not prepping food, the one who handles everyone's money, just grabs them with their bare hands, out of open boxes the sit out getting dusty and grimy and god forbid a broken packet smearing up everything, and tosses them in on top of your french fries. And those who do wear gloves? The same gloves for perhaps hours? What good are they in a food prep environment? Everything they touch, their faces, their hair, their clothes, your food, gets cross contaminated. The only one who is safe from anything they touch is themselves.
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