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Bizarro Caption Contest 2.

Thanks to Dan Piraro, we have another Bizarro caption contest. Funniest caption wins a Free Neatorama T-Shirt. Contest rule: one caption per comment, make it funny but please keep it civil. You can submit multiple comments.

Update 4/13/07: Wow! A lot of great stuff here, guys - Congrats to Sean Wagoner #11 who came up with the winning caption:

“On the weather forecast for the afternoon, clear, red skies with a chance of hellfire and brimstone.”


"... and when we come back after the break, scientists will tell us which lucky community in the outlying suburbs is sitting on a potential gold mine of natural gas reserves..."
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Up next, an urgent Newslink special report: Are Tom and Katie having "trust issues"? You'll never guess what she said. Find out, after the break.
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"In a strange occurance, peciecs of blueberry pie and sticks of dynamite fell from the sky earlier today that has left scientists scratching their heads..."
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We are pleased to report out our fourth consecutive quarter over quarter decrease in sales as our engineers keep designing TV to the highest quality standard ...
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"We're sorry to announce that from today on god wants to be a woman................................ APRIL'S FOOL!...heh."
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"In other news, official tallies from this morning's election polls, just an hour old, were met with enthusiasm as the United States of America welcomed it's newest Commander-in-Chief, Hillary Clinton..."
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My fellow Americans, Foreget about Osama bin Hide-in. Al Gore-duh and the agents of Global Warming did this. They are hiding in Iran and Syria. Dick and the boys at Haliburton have just what we need to correctify this situation...before you know it, it'll be "Mission Accomplished!" Disclaimer: I may not have been elected President, but I know you like me more than that "un-American" congress!
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"and revelations about the secret 20 year ongoing affair between the President and the Speaker of the House have caused significant upheaval on the Hill..."
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..And these are your headlines...Baby Polar Bear Knut finds a friend! Kansas girl has the hiccups for 2 months, and Martha Stewart has a suprise for all off you at home! Coming up after the break...
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Death and destructon rains down upon the Earth, fear in the hearts of children everywhere. Is there any hope?...is there...Hey wait, this happened in New Orleans?

In other news...
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"And now for some good news... Majority Leader Nancy Pilosi's visit to Syria was a resounding success, resulting in assurances from Middle East leaders that the United States is no longer a target of Islamic jihadists."
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"And a common household product you have in your kitchen could be deadly. We'll let you know which one you should avoid at 11."
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We repeat. Rumors that the world will be coming to an end are vastly exaggerated. When we return, we will hear from experts explaining why the world cannot be coming to an end.
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"And just outside of Whichita, there is a small storm system brewing, which could possibly lead to a small tornado, Jan, but our storm center here isn't calling for any alarms. Back to ..."
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"In related news, the Bush Administration has sent F-17s in response to intelligence that Al-Qaeda was spotted selling caramel popcorn at an Alabama flea market"
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The local fire brigade were lauded as heroes once again today, after rescuing Mrs. Tuppletop's tabby out of the tree in a matter of hours.
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Once again, although the cautionary report on combustable breast implants was aired on april first, it was NOT infact a joke. If you live in a trashy town, especially in the south, seek cover and avoid huge gazongas.
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"We inturrupt your regularly scheduled program for this news bulletin, Anna Nicole Smith's pet turtle has been found dead in its terrarium early this morning. Initial reports suggest the death was an accident. We will continue with updates as they develop."
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...and if the Northern Lights that embezzled the midwest skies this afternoon wasn't freaky enough, we just got confirmation that it apparently caused a dynamite shower that wiped out several cities...
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