Stephen King has written many scary stories about inanimate objects, from The Mangler to Christine to The Monkey, but the scariest object he ever had to face was The Desk, which he thought would be a dream come true.
As you'll see in this comic by Zen Pencils, Stephen bought the massive oak desk in 1981 and proceeded to write some of his most famous novels behind it, but the desk only served to make him feel like an alien in his own home...
Wait, what? It was enough of a shock to realize that I am talking to the robot instead of the guy, but the underlying implication of that last line is a bit ominous. Am I one of those friends he finds boring? Does that explain the contrast in happiness lately? And here I was, getting a bit jealous because I don't have my own personal assistant robot. Now I just want to go sulk. This is the latest comic from Chris Hallbeck at Maximumble.
Horses are noble and elegant creatures and truly one of the most beautiful animals in the world, but did you know they're also the hirsute heroes of the animal kingdom?
With beautiful manes and tails that can be braided and styled their hair game is undeniably strong, but what truly makes them hirsute heroes is the fact that both males and females can grow amazing moustaches.
And unlike other animals with hair on their upper lip the horse's moustache comes in many styles, from the hairy hippie to the dapper dan to the horsey handlebar.
Ada Blackjack was an Alaskan Inupiat woman who signed on for a year working as a seamstress for an expedition to Wrangel Island, in the Arctic Ocean near Siberia. She was the sole woman in the 1921 expedition that included four men and a cat named Vic.
The expedition, organized by the charismatic Arctic explorer Vilhjalmur Stefansson, was at best an ill-conceived venture; at worst, it was a willfully negligent act of astonishing hubris. Using the pull of his celebrity as a seasoned explorer, Stefansson assembled a team of four starstruck young men—Allan Crawford, 20, Lorne Knight, 28, Fred Maurer, 28, and Milton Galle, 19—to claim Wrangel Island for the British Empire—even though Britain had never shown the slightest interest in wanting it. Though Stefansson picked the team and funded the mission, he never had any intention of joining the party himself and sent his woefully inexperienced team north with only six months of supplies and hollow assurances that “the friendly Arctic” would provide ample game to augment their stores until a ship picked them up the following year.
That's not what happened. Two years later, when a rescue ship finally arrived, Blackjack and Vic were the only survivors of the expedition. She didn't know how to shoot or trap when she went to Wrangel Island, but she taught herself because she was determined to return to her young son. And she had kept a diary of her experiences. Read the story of Ada Blackjack at Atlas Obscura.
'Ever had one of those friends who was constantly making fun of you for enjoying the geeky side of life?
It's like they're afraid to embrace their geeky side because they might end up looking less "mature", which someone important to them claims to be the most important thing in life.
But, as this For Lack Of A Better Comic comic shows. people who spend too much time worrying about being "mature" and don't stop to have any fun often end up bored, alone and utterly boring to be around. How mature of them!
Alex Bowen couldn't sleep, so he wandered down to the Waffle House in West Columbia, South Carolina. He waited around to be waited on, but then discovered an employee sound asleep on the job. So he cooked his own meal! He told WIS-TV,
"Got hot on the grill with a double Texas bacon cheesesteak melt with extra pickles," Bowen said. "When I was done I cleaned the grill, collected my ill-gotten sandwich and rolled on out."
The photos in this post show Bowen in the cooking areas and a stacked sandwich.
"I give all the credit to my old friend vodka," Bowen said. "I wouldn't normally have done that."
Bowen also took selfies, which he posted on Facebook. He returned to the Waffle House later in the day and gave an employee $5 for the meal he prepared himself. Waffle House issued a statement of apology to Bowen and hinted that he may have a future cooking for the company. -via The Daily Dot
We all feel like this sometimes. Some of us feel like this all the time. It's Impostor Syndrome rearing its ugly head again. But don't worry about it- the people who are judging your performance don't know what they're doing, either. As if that's any comfort. This comic is from Chris Hallbeck at Maximumble.
When my sister was a kid she used to have a hard time finding real life friends to come to her tea party so she would sit down with her stuffed animals and the cat, which was a good enough guest list for her most of the time.
My dad and I were available if she insisted on having a human at her tea party so she never had to use the Dark Arts to summon guests, which was lucky for us because brimstone stains are really hard to get out of the carpet! (Comic by War And Peas)
Miracle on 34th Street has a lot going for it: it's a Christmas movie, a romance, a courtroom drama, and it has the adorable 8-year-old Natalie Wood. The 1947 film starts out with a boatload of cynicism and gradually fills each character with the spirit of Christmas before it's over. If Miracle on 34th Street is one of your favorite Christmas memories, you'll want to learn more about its production.
2. VALENTINE DAVIES WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE THE STORY WHILE STANDING IN A LONG LINE AT A DEPARTMENT STORE.
According to TCM, Davies got the idea for the film during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. The long lines and chaos left him to wonder what Santa would’ve thought about such commercialization. After writing the story, he gave the idea to [director George] Seaton to turn into a script. In 1947, when the film was released in theaters, Davies also released his novella version of the story.
3. THE STUDIO DIDN’T GET THE CONSENT OF MACY’S AND GIMBELS UNTIL AFTER FILMING HAD CONCLUDED.
Despite the fact that both Macy’s and Gimbels figure prominently in the story, the studio took a gamble by not getting the companies to sign off before using their names. According to TCM, the studio made the companies aware they were going into production, but refused to share footage until filming was completed. Luckily, both department stores were satisfied with the final product.
A video from New Zealand aims to recruit new people for its police force and ends up entertaining us all. The video features 70 volunteer police officers, Police Commissioner Mike Bush, a police pipe band, dogs and cats, and Kiwi celebrity William Waiirua. They illustrate the many different things police work can involve. And they're funny, too.
The outtakes at the end and the beginning of the credits are pretty good, too. If this has inspired you to apply for the job, be warned that you must be a New Zealand or Australian citizen or NZ permanent resident. -via reddit
I don't get why employers still ask applicants what their weaknesses are, since applicants always lie when asked this question.
Employers claim it gives them insight into how an employee's mind works, but asking about a their weaknesses just makes you sound like a cheesy supervillain out to defeat the heroic applicant who lacks the "plenty of money" super power.
If you need a job then keep telling interviewers your weaknesses are you can't bring yourself to take vacations and you're a perfectionist, but as this Mr. Lovenstein comic shows only say you have no weaknesses if you're bulletproof.
If you are passing through, you can always get pie in Pie Town. Pie Town, New Mexico, was settled like many other towns in the western US when a would-be prospector found no gold and ended up doing something completely different. In this case, it was selling fruit pies to cowboys. The adventurous settlers who established Pie Town were protective of the name.
At this early point in its history, Pie Town displayed the attitude that still defines the town. In the old days, resident Nita Larronde says, Pie Town was barely on road maps. The town had to petition just to get a post office. To secure one, Pie Town residents were asked, in 1927, to suggest three other names for their settlement. “The name was beneath the dignity of the post office,” Larronde says. “But the people of Pie Town decided, ‘No, we’re Pie Town. You can take your post office and go to hell.’”
Tattooing a lover's name on your body is always a bad decision, because relationships far too often end badly, and yet people continue to voluntarily go under the gun to get this most regrettable of all tattoos.
Luckily all kinds of medical centers offer laser tattoo removal services these days, but these services can cost thousands of dollars so most people just have a tattoo artist cover up love's bad name with some new ink.
Comic artist Abby Howard has a door in her kitchen. It's behind the refrigerator, and there's no other place to put the refrigerator, so she doesn't know what's behind the door. To be honest, Howard might know what's behind the door, or it might belong to someone she knows. She didn't say. But the door is real, and it served as an inspiration. She wrote an entire story around it, and it's rather creepy.
Taras Kulakov, or the Crazy Russian Hacker, got a hold of some newfangled alarm clocks that make getting out of bed an ordeal. You know, the kind that require you to actually wake up in order to turn them off. They come in a lot of clever designs now.
Some these would scare the living daylights out of you, but they do the job. However, if you are sleepy and frustrated enough, you could always chuck them out the window. Keep this video handy in case you need to buy a Christmas gift for someone you hate. If you snooze, you lose! And remember, safety is numbern prerty. -via Tastefully Offensive
A party boat pulls over to unload people in Utrecht, Netherlands. Taken from the full video here, this gif focuses on the important ten seconds or so. You may have to watch it a few times to catch all the details.
The guy who steps off the boat should have waited until someone secured the craft to the shore. The force he exerts causes the boat to move back, dooming both women.
The woman in white gets helped out of the water, but then falls back in all by herself. Alcohol might have been involved.
Two beers make it to the dock, the woman's beer falling over immediately. The guy puts his down to help them, but it falls over, too.
When the guy pulls on the woman in purple, he injures her shoulder. She has trouble convincing him that she's hurt.
So it was a disaster all around. Did I miss anything? -via reddit
You thought the Joker was disguised as a nurse, but for Halloween, he was an obstetrician! Brittany Selph and her husband Justin went to the hospital in Paris, Tennessee, on Halloween because Brittany was in labor. Her doctor, Paul Locus, was dressed as the Joker and left for a while to hand out Halloween candy. He was still in costume when he returned to the hospital in time to deliver their little girl Oaklyn at 8:20 that evening.
"When [Locus] came in our room the following morning, in normal doctor attire, he said, 'Sorry I couldn't make it in last night, glad to see the delivery went well'," said Justin. "He was a great sport about it all."
As they have in previous years, Salt & Straw in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Portland is offering special limited edition ice cream flavors in the month of November that mimic the taste of a classic Thanksgiving dinner. Specifically, this year's Thanksgiving ice creams are 1. Sweet Potato Casserole with Maple Pecans, 2. Buttered Mashed Potatoes & Gravy, 3. Apple Cranberry Stuffing, 4. Salted Caramel Thanksgiving Turkey, and 5. Spiced Goat Cheese & Pumpkin Pie. Honestly, those might be good if you take out the words potato, gravy, and turkey. Los Angeles magazine offers a description of each flavor, although the stuffing flavor is different from the company's menu. They do note that
(they skipped that green bean-mushroom soup thing, which was wise)
Grandpas used to be seen as grumpy old curmudgeons who love nothing more than sitting in front of the television shaking their fists at the screen while yelling "damn kids these days!".
But these days we know better than to prejudge someone just because they're a grandparent, and as the populace gets older the grandparents of the world keep getting younger in both attitude and appearance.
Which is why you young whippersnappers out there shouldn't challenge a grandpa to a break dancing battle unless you want to get your electric boogaloo-happy butt handed to you in front of a crowd.
The flu pandemic of 1918 killed between 50 million and 100 million people across the globe -more than died in World War I combat. But no one took it seriously at the beginning, because it was just flu, and few of the people who contracted it died. That's why it was able to spread so fast and so far. It was called Spanish flu, but it probably originated in the United States. After the fact, the outbreak was traced to Haskell County, Kansas, where many people became sick in January of 1918. The local doctor reported the outbreak, which meant it particularly worried him, since influenza was not a reportable disease.
Several Haskell men who had been exposed to influenza went to Camp Funston, in central Kansas. Days later, on March 4, the first soldier known to have influenza reported ill. The huge Army base was training men for combat in World War I, and within two weeks 1,100 soldiers were admitted to the hospital, with thousands more sick in barracks. Thirty-eight died. Then, infected soldiers likely carried influenza from Funston to other Army camps in the States—24 of 36 large camps had outbreaks—sickening tens of thousands, before carrying the disease overseas. Meanwhile, the disease spread into U.S. civilian communities.
The influenza virus mutates rapidly, changing enough that the human immune system has difficulty recognizing and attacking it even from one season to the next. A pandemic occurs when an entirely new and virulent influenza virus, which the immune system has not previously seen, enters the population and spreads worldwide. Ordinary seasonal influenza viruses normally bind only to cells in the upper respiratory tract—the nose and throat—which is why they transmit easily. The 1918 pandemic virus infected cells in the upper respiratory tract, transmitting easily, but also deep in the lungs, damaging tissue and often leading to viral as well as bacterial pneumonias.
The flu ravaged Europe, then abated in July, leading to a false sense that it was over. When it roared back, it was deadlier than ever. The disease was exacerbated in the US, where government officials refused to acknowledge it, fearing it would hinder the war effort. The lack of information only fueled panic. Smithsonian magazine tells us about the spread of the 1918 flu pandemic.
Some bosses get really upset when their employees show up late for work, coming down on them hard like an ogre swinging a giant club at their head in an attempt to beat promptness into them.
Thankfully geeky bosses generally aren't quite so fearsome or strict about employee tardiness, and as this comic from The Underfold shows, geeky bosses are also easily distracted by polyhedral dice rolls...
Wonder Woman has gone through a few costume redesigns over the years but she keeps coming back to some form of armor, because she's a warrior through and through.
And if she starred in a title that took place n the Middle Ages she would probably sport an armored costume that looks like this amazing suit of battle armor created by Samuel Lee from Prince Armory.
It's got her signature colors, it's got the flair that makes it worthy of an Amazon princess and it actually looks like it would protect her in combat, unlike those midriff and mini skirt numbers other supergals wear.
Most zip lines are set up so the rider (zipper?) gets a visual thrill while they slide down the line, a thrill that often involves being really high above the ground or making the rider think they're about to hit something while they ride.
But the zip line in this video didn't have any sort of thrill ride element put into it, so an alligator decided to spice things up a bit by snapping at the rider as she zipped by.
Many cities have outrageous rent, and then you have to pay for a parking space. But what if you could live the parking space by itself? Behold a house called Tikki (which means stick) that covers a space of a little more than 8' x 16'. It has three floors with a workspace, a living space, and a greenhouse o top.
“The city is not designed because of humans–it’s designed because of cars,” says architect Marco Casagrande, principal at the Helsinki-based Casagrande Laboratory, which designed the new tiny house. “All the streets in cityscapes are based on car dimensions. This I found a little bit strange. We have all this talk about the density of cars getting less and less in cities, and at the same time, we are talking about people moving into cities . . . but we don’t have space to build. Nobody has been questioning car parking spaces. They are everywhere. So this talk about no land to build in cities is nonsense: It’s everywhere, but it’s just for cars.”
The 1990s were the highest and lowest point for American shopping malls, and by the end of the 90s many stores we knew and liked had closed up shop for good in malls across the U.S., leaving us looking for new places to loiter.
Kay*Bee Toys was a great place to kill time, since the clerks didn't seem to care when we had Nerf gun fights in the aisles even though we didn't buy anything, and as much reading as I did there I don't think I ever bought a book from Waldenbooks.
Maybe that's why these stores disappeared- their prices kept people from buying much, but they were in the mall so they were open to browsing, which made people buy less.
Why would people buy stuff from a mall store like Sam Goody that wanted $18.99 or more for a CD when they could buy their music in a non-mall store like Tower Records for less? Now that's a store I really miss!
I've never thought of black cats as omens of bad luck because I grew up in a household that valued the life of all kitties, and people for that matter, regardless of fur or skin color.
Plus I've owned a few black cats over the years, and the way I see it they can't bring bad luck to their owners or else witches and warlocks wouldn't keep them around.
But, as this War And Peas comic shows, the superstition may have originated when the first person who thought such a dumb thing pointed at a black cat and yelled "bad luck!" That really pisses cats off...
The Hamburger Helper mascot is a disembodied hand, wearing a glove, with a face in its palm. It's ridiculous already, but trying to envision what kind of bone structure it has inside is even weirder. That's the question michael SCAREa posed on Twitter. He got over 500 replies, including plenty of illustrations of the inside of a fictional advertising character.
I can see why you'd think it was one of those, but as an actual skeletologist I can confirm it's actually this: pic.twitter.com/OBwASgeuhd