Macho men like to perform feats of strength so they can show off how manly they are, and they constantly feel the need to prove their physical prowess is over 9000 so they don't drop a rank in their bro pack.
But losing face in front of your macho friends is preferable to losing a hand while trying to do something stupid like punching a bear trap, a lesson which ol' Dieter here learned the hard way.
Coffee, much like beer and whiskey, tastes like crap the first time it hits your tongue, and just like whiskey it burns on the way down and makes you wonder why you wanted to try that foul beverage in the first place.
But then you start to feel the effects and the attraction to that caustic liquid finally makes sense, and according to this comic from The Awkward Yeti some people fall so deeply in love with coffee they want to marry it.
Personally, I prefer to keep my relationship with coffee strictly friends with benefits...
According to this bread bag alignment chart by Aurelian Rabbit, I am a lawful neutral (my bread comes with a twist tie instead of a plastic clip), my husband was a chaotic neutral, and my children were chaotic evil through most of their time with me. Twitter followers had to inform Aurelian Rabbit that even with a bread box, you have to use the plastic bag the bread comes in. There aren't very many people who use a bread box anymore. Its utility is mainly in keeping people from stacking things on top of the bread and squishing it. -via Nag on the Lake
Back in 2011, we told you about Júzcar, Spain, the village that was painted blue. It was a publicity stunt by Sony Pictures, who agreed to use 4,200 liters of blue paint to cover every house in the village in order to promote its movie The Smurfs. But after the promotional period, the 250 or so residents of Júzcar voted to keep the blue color scheme. They discovered it to be quite a smurfy tourist attraction. Ever since, the town has been a destination for Smurf fans who travel from all over to see "the Smurf Village." That's about to come to an end.
But a bitter dispute between the town hall and heirs of the Smurf creator, the Belgian comics artist Pierre Culliford whose pen name was Peyo, resulted in locals agreeing to pay 12 percent in royalties on all Smurf-related income.
However, in a noticed posted on the council website last week, the mayor’s office announced that from August 15th, all smurf related activities must cease – although the village will remain blue.
Labelled “important information for tourists”, the communique stated that Júzcar had “lost the authorization to market itself as a Smurf town” and “from Tuesday August 15th there will be no more statues or references to that brand”.
So if you are determined to see the Smurf Village in all it's smurfiness, you'll have to get to Júzcar in the next four days. -via Atlas Obscura
A post shared by Riley (@riley_thebostonterrier) on Jul 25, 2017 at 3:50pm PDT
Riley asked the other dogs on Instagram if they liked to pretend to be a shark too, to which they replied they'd rather pretend to be a waste disposal unit, a royal food taster or a squirrel but never a shark. I guess Riley swims to the beat of her own drum!
You know those really stupid news stories you read online then have to verify because it seems too dumb to be true? Men are sealing their penises shut to prevent pregnancy- tell me that's not one of the most verification-worthy headlines ever read online!
According to this New York Post article guys are using a product called Jiftip (NSFW) to seal their urethra shut with an adhesive decal so no sperm escapes during intercourse, which is neither safe nor effective.
The Jiftip website claims their product is meant to help men "feel your partner, feel freedom, feel smart", and yet their site also warns:
"Jiftip is NOT a condom. Because it's not approved for anything anywhere, let's make this clear: Use for novelty, pleasure, convenience, fun, or entertainment. THOU SHALT NOT USE FOR PREGNANCY OR STI PREVENTION PURPOSES."
This crotch catastrophy in the making is still in the beta testing phase, but health experts warn against anyone using the product for good reason:
Natika Halil, chief executive of sexual health charity the Family Planning Association, told The Sun Online: “There’s no evidence to suggest that this product is safe or effective, and it could potentially be very painful.
“As the company themselves say, it isn’t approved to prevent pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections — so if you want to avoid either of those, we’d recommend avoiding this product as well.
“It’s quite concerning that the company implies that sex without condoms isn’t ‘real sex,’ as condoms are the only form of contraception that can help prevent sexually transmitted infections.”
During World War I, the military needed enough food to fight, and civilians back home sacrificed so that they had it. But there weren't any treats. In fact, ice cream was considered "not essential," so the sugar that would have gone into its manufacture was diverted elsewhere, despite the pleas of the ice cream industry. That would change drastically over the next two decades, as Americans turned to ice cream during Prohibition as a substitute for alcohol, and then during the Great Depression as a rare affordable treat. Ice cream came to be associated with the American way of life. So when the U.S. joined in World War II, ice cream went with them.
In 1942, as Japanese torpedoes slowly sank the U.S.S. Lexington, then the second-largest aircraft carrier in the Navy’s arsenal, the crew abandoned ship—but not before breaking into the freezer and eating all the ice cream. Survivors describe scooping ice cream into their helmets and licking them clean before lowering themselves into the Pacific. By 1943, American heavy-bomber crews figured out they could make ice cream over enemy territory by strapping buckets of mix to the rear gunner’s compartment before missions. By the time they landed, the custard would have frozen at altitude and been churned smooth by engine vibrations and turbulence—if not machine-gun fire and midair explosions. Soldiers on the ground reported mixing snow and melted chocolate bars in helmets to improvise a chocolate sorbet.
The Plaza Hotel in New York has a staff of 11 experienced butlers to treat their guests like royalty. Brandon Presser managed to join them for two days (after an express training session) to see what the job was like. What do hotel butlers do? Whatever it takes, from unpacking luggage to delivering ice, to making sure laundry is delivered on time.
Another common request for the butler team is to draw baths with a signature blend of salt, oil, and roses—especially during the colder months of the year. But the butler’s duties aren’t necessarily complete once the tub is full. Bal, the Plaza’s resident bath-time specialist, said that 95 percent of the time, he’s asked to remain within arm’s reach as bathers suds-up. Most of them, he said, want more hot water or scented oil, and are happy to keep him on hand while they relax in the nude. He is often left to pull the plug from the drain, elbow-deep in leftover water.
It can be hard for women to find an OB-GYN they feel comfortable with and even harder to find a doctor who makes you feel like they're just as concerned about the safety of your baby as you are.
But the truth is there aren't many obstetricians out there like Dr. Amanda Hess- because she's so dedicated to her profession she took a break from delivering her own baby to help deliver someone else's child.
Dr. Hess was in labor at her hospidal in Frankfort, Kentucky when she heard a woman screaim down the hall.
The woman was fully dilated and ready to deliver, but the on-call doctor was on break and wouldn't make it back in time, so
“I just put on a gown to cover my backside and put on some boots over my shoes, to keep from getting any fluid and all that stuff on me, and went down to her room," Hess told WKYT.
As it turned out, Dr. Hess knew the woman about to give birth, Leah Halliday Johnson. Dr. Hess, in fact, had even given Johnson her last checkup a few days earlier.
Dr. Hess, despite being in labor herself, immediately went to work. This was a relief to Johnson, who "was just glad to be able to get to push and have the baby out and not have to wait any longer," Hess told WKYT.
After delivering Leah's baby Dr. Hess went back in and gave birth to her own bundle of joy, and it seems little Ellen Joyce didn't mind waiting one bit.
For generations fantasy nerds have dreamed of the moment when they are able to pull Excalibur out of the stone and become a mythic hero like King Arthur, but it ain't every day that you come across a magic sword in a stone.
However, Adam Savage was able to make a pretty sharp looking replica of Excalibur from the movie Excalibur out of aluminum as part of his One Day Builds series for Tested, and he found making a replica is nearly as hard as forging a real sword!
All Adam has to do now is stick that sword into a prop stone in his front yard so he can start each day by pulling the sword from the stone and holding it aloft, exclaiming "I have the power!" Oh wait, that was He-Man...
The kids are asleep! That means it's time to do that thing. Meaning, all those things you can't get done when the kids are sucking up all your time and attention. How you prioritize that long list of things is up to you. In this case, the reward is a cleaner home, although tomorrow it will go back to chaos. It's one step forward and two steps back, but it's better than no steps forward at all. This is the latest from Lunarbaboon.
NASA launched Voyager I and Voyager II in 1977, on a 12-year mission to study and send back data from Jupiter and Saturn. That was the stated mission, as that was all that the U.S. government was willing to fund. However, scientists and engineers at NASA and the Jet Propulsion Lab had higher hopes for the probes. Forty years later, the two spacecraft are still sending back data, Voyager I from interstellar space, and Voyager II as it is crossing the the boundary of the solar system. Possibly even more surprising is that NASA engineers are still monitoring the mission.
All explorations demand sacrifices in exchange for uncertain outcomes. Some of those sacrifices are social: how many resources we collectively devote to a given pursuit of knowledge. But another portion is borne by the explorer alone, who used to be rewarded with adventure and fame if not fortune. For the foreseeable future, Voyager seems destined to remain in the running for the title of Mankind’s Greatest Journey, which might just make its nine flight-team engineers — most of whom have been with the mission since the Reagan administration — our greatest living explorers. They also may be the last people left on the planet who can operate the spacecraft’s onboard computers, which have 235,000 times less memory and 175,000 times less speed than a 16-gigabyte smartphone. And while it’s true that these pioneers haven’t gone anywhere themselves, they are arguably every bit as dauntless as more celebrated predecessors. Magellan never had to steer a vessel from the confines of a dun-colored rental office, let alone stay at the helm long enough to qualify for a senior discount at the McDonald’s next door.
This fantasy quest is not all it's cracked up to be. Clearly, he did not have time to think this scheme through at all. Jumping back in time did not work, but it did set off a never-ending loop of time travel and destruction. That's gotta hurt. This is the latest from Chris Hallbeck at Maximumble.
The things you talk to your children about are the things they will come to think of as important. But the current thinking on what's important keeps changing. We were told at one time that we should compliment our kids to build up their confidence. But then we realized that concentrating on how pretty a girl is tends to reinforce the importance of looks, which can set a little girl up for a lifetime of grief, when she compares herself to others. So we compliment her intelligence, hoping she will come to value thinking skills over appearance. But then we learned that telling a child they are smart can lead to assumptions of their intelligence at the expense of effort and ambition. Now we are trying to reward work and perseverance, which can lead to lifelong success in whatever direction they take. Raising kids is hard. At least Chris is taking a step up from focusing on looks. This is the latest from Lunarbaboon.
Dogs are a lot smarter and more compassionate than humans give them credit for being, and when they see one of their feral relatives in trouble they will often help out however they can.
Lara is an eight-month-old puppy rescued from the streets of Brazil by Suelen Shaumloeffel, and Suelen keeps finding new reasons to love little Lara more- like the time she offered to share her blanket with a homeless dog.
Lara didn't have much to offer the homeless dog who slept on the other side of her yard's fence but she did have her favorite blanket, which conveniently fit through the fence.
Suelen shared this story of canine compassion so others could learn from Lara:
‘I thought, “How beautiful that she did that for her friend”,’ Suelen tells The Dodo.
‘My best four-legged friend reminded me of something so important: generosity!
‘She is the nicest little dog I’ve ever met. We forget sometimes the difference we can make in someone’s life. She reminded me of this.’
Speculating on the possibility life on other planets can be both awe-inspiring and comforting. Just keep telling yourself that, and it may help distract you from the fact that you are single, friendless, and doomed to die all alone. But maybe, if this guy goes out stargazing often enough, and uses that same opening line with everyone he encounters, he might just find a kindred spirit someday. Or maybe not. This is the latest from Alex Culang and Raynato Castro at Buttersafe.
Artist Dan Cretu (previously at Neatorama) mixes classical artworks with modern pop culture in a series of mashups that make you say, "Yeah!" The show Friends ceased production 13 years ago, but you certainly recognize them in the image above, even though their faces were painted by Renaissance masters and other famous artists. That same crew could star in other memorable TV shows.
Star Trek: The Next Generation turns 30 this September. One of the most memorable locations on the Enterprise in that show was the holodeck, where any fantasy could be conjured up through 23rd-century virtual reality. That enabled quite a few plots that would be too improbable without it. LEGO artist Iain Heath (Ochre Jelly) built a diorama of the holodeck to celebrate the show's anniversary, and to illustrate what could possibly go wrong. He calls it Safety Protocols Disabled.
The grid pattern is not drawn or painted, it's actually a complex repeating pattern of LEGO bricks!
The minifigs are custom made ones that I found on sale at a LEGO convention.
The dinosaurs are taken from official LEGO dinosaur sets.
Whoa, this is something I hadn't thought about. What if you were in an airplane and flew through the totality of the August 21st solar eclipse? It could happen. If you were on the right flight at the exact time and place. Come to think of it, the odds are pretty small. And your pilot would be aware of the eclipse anyway. This is the latest from Randall Munroe at xkcd. Go to the comic page to check out the hovertext punch line.
She was, of course, the premier female voice talent of her era. I don't know who the runner-up was but whoever it was, she was in a distant second in terms of hours logged voicing cartoons and commercials, dubbing movies, doing narration, appearing on radio shows and records…even providing the voice for talking dolls. A few years ago when Earl Kress and I assisted her with her autobiography, we foolishly thought we could whip up a near-complete list of everything she'd done. Not in this world possible. I know more of June's credits than most people and I'd be surprised if I know 10% of it.
She was Rocky the Flying Squirrel. She was Natasha Fatale. She was Nell Fenwick. She was Jokey Smurf. She was Cindy Lou Who. She was Granny, owner of Tweety. She was Witch Hazel. She was Chatty Cathy. She was thousands of others.
It's easy to find something to get angry about while driving, but the laughs are few and far between unless you account the times when you sarcastically laugh at the other drivers' crappy driving skills.
Of course, there are a ton of bumper stickers out there that are meant to make other drivers angry, but it's best to just think of those as markers indicating which cars should be trashed in the parking lot!
Some kids are born to be foodies and immediately start ordering meals just like adults from the first time they go to a restaurant. But most parents aren't so lucky and end up ordering countless meals for their children that "don't care," "aren't hungry" or "don't want that." Fortunately for those parents, this restaurant has a menu (posted to Reddit by IWishItWouldSnow) to help translate those totally unhelpful requests. Personally, I could go for a "what? I'm not hungry" combo right now.
I guess you can say that Mom is one smart cookie! Her child doesn't even need the note now, and the bully can suffer not only the consequences, but the dread of the suffering to come. This is the latest from Chris Hallbeck at Maximumble.
Legendary former Air Force pilot Major Brian Shul reminisces about the day he flew the world's fastest jet, the SR-71 Blackbird across the western U.S. and listened in on air traffic control in LA. What unfolded was a classic case of male one-upmanship across the airwaves. Is it a true story? Does it really matter? -Thanks, hearsetrax!
The sad part of this story is that buying a home can often be cheaper than renting an apartment. But good luck getting a down payment and a mortgage when you are on the hook for huge school loans, and good luck finding a job with security in a stable community. This is the latest comic by Dami Lee, inspired by a Tweet from duumb!
[wheel of fortune]
me: id like to buy a vowel pat: arent u a millenial me: [sigh] id like to rent a vowel
Tom Hanks has starred in many high grossing and extremely popular films, movies which will forever be known as "Tom Hanks movies" and therefore impossible to imagine with anyone else in the lead role.
He's also had quite a bit of luck scoring great roles, luck which may have run out had he starred in an awful movie like Super Mario Bros.- his replacement Bob Hoskins called the movie "his biggest disappointment in life."
It's also fun to imagine how different movies like Shawshank Redemption, When Harry Met Sally or Groundhog Day would have looked if they'd starred Tom Hanks:
What we have here are four Samoyeds, harmonizing like a barbershop quartet. Well, three of them anyway. In every quartet, there's one guy who wants to only take the solos. In this case, that's Biscotti.