This Pokémon Go craze has even invaded the flower garden! Redditor space_wyrm found a zinnia in the garden that aspires to be a Pokeball. You know what they say, dress not for the job you have, but for the job you want.
Jason Wolfe set up a prank in which he pretended to be impaled by a staple gun. Well, just his finger. He needs help! Luckily, Tyler was there to lend a hand. Tyler didn’t scream or get grossed out, he was just willing to do what was needed.
But honestly, would you depend on Tyler to be able to handle a real emergency? -via Tastefully Offensive
Never let the haters in the world tell you SpongeBob SquarePants is not of historical importance, because those anti-Spongeicans are just jealous of SpongeBob's contributions to the world.
Bikini Bottom seems to have a lot in common with the Bermuda Triangle, since both oceanic locations are full of strange occurrences and random encounters.
But the trials and tribulations encountered by SpongeBob and his buddies are like perfect parallels of the historical events we humans encountered on the surface.
These parallel events must be why the memes shared on r/BikiniBottomTwitter are so spot on, revealing all the ways we've been underestimating SpongeBob and Patrick since the 90s.
Samsung Pay seems like magic to some extent -seeing as how you can use it almost anywhere with a wave of your phone. But there's something distinctively "meh" about using your phone to pay -especially when you could be using a magic wand instead.
The Ollivander19 is a brilliant invention that claims to be (and probably is) the first contactless payment wand. And because magic can't be bought, but only inherited, the only way to get one of the eight wands in existence is to win one on the Card Cutters website. So if you think you've got what it takes to do magic, head to the site and try your luck today.
Via Nerd Approved
William Ziegler of New Orleans died on July 29th at the age of 69. His obituary is humorously written, but still tells you a lot about the man, if you read between the lines. Here’s a portion of it.
William volunteered for service in the United States Navy at the ripe old age of 17 and immediately realized he didn't much enjoy being bossed around. He only stuck it out for one war. Before his discharge, however, the government exchanged numerous ribbons and medals for various honorable acts. Upon his return to the City of New Orleans in 1971, thinking it best to keep an eye on him, government officials hired William as a fireman. After twenty-five years, he suddenly realized that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them. He promptly retired. Looking back, William stated that there was no better group of morons and mental patients than those he had the privilege of serving with (except Bob, he never liked you, Bob).
Mick Kalber is a pilot for a helicopter tour company in Hawaii. Nice job, huh? Recently, Kalber uncovered evidence that Tutu Pele, the fire goddess, is indeed pleased with the sacrifices made at Kilauea volcano. Or something like that.
Kalbur caught video of rifts in the dark crust of the lava bubbling in the volcano’s crater, revealing a huge smiley face. How many people can say they’ve been smiled at by a volcano? Outside of an animation, that is. Kilauea has been erupting constantly since 1983. -Thanks, John Farrier!
It's hard to believe South Park is about to begin their twentieth season but it's true, and two decades on the air has definitely softened Trey Parker and Matt Stone up a bit...just kidding!
South Park Studios is just as hardcore as ever (see the video game The Stick Of Truth), but they're celebrating the show turning twenty with a sweet and sentimental look back at all the dirty places they've been. (NSFW)
The 20th season of South Park will premiere on Comedy Central on September 14, 2016, and the show is set to run until at least 2019, so keep growing older and South Park will grey right along with you!
We read about various conflicted communities in which the locals did not side with the rest of their state during the Civil War, but Town Line, New York, was a puzzling outlier. This town is nowhere near the South- it’s near the Canadian border, just east of Buffalo. There weren’t any slaves or slaveholders there. The citizenry was almost entirely German immigrants. But for some reason, they voted in 1861 to secede from the Union and join the Confederacy.
According to New York: A Guide to the Empire State (Federal Writers’ Project, 1940), the dissenting minority referred to the town as a “nest of Copperheads,” threatening them with arrest under charges of sedition and even lynching. Nonetheless, according to oral history, at least five members of newly-Confederate Town Line headed south to join the Army of Northern Virginia, even as twenty residents stayed put and fought for the Union Army.
There are few records about Town Line’s secession, and the names of those who voted for it were not recorded. Add to that the fact that the federal government dealt with Town Line mainly by ignoring it, and you’ve set up somewhat of a historical mystery. Read about the New York community that joined the Confederacy at Atlas Obscura.
(Image credit: Chriskyddwr)
The oceans make up vast areas of the earth’s surface that are under no governmental control. That’s where maritime law comes into play. There are zones of the oceans that are controlled by the country on the nearest shore, but which laws they can enforce vary depending on how far away from the beach you are.
In international waters, some things depend on what country your ship is registered in. Other matters are rules agreed on by various nations, but it’s rare to get all nations to agree on anything. It gets confusing, but Wendover Productions makes it as simple as they can as they explain maritime law to us. -via reddit
Conan O'Brien has made it his mission to conquer Comic-Con ever since his show moved to L.A., so now we have show tapings and exclusive figures to look forward to at the event each year.
And when Conan hits the Con he hits it hard, bringing some of his patently unpredictable Coco magic with him, this time in the form of a super suit custom made for his bod by Ironhead Studio.
Conan claims the suit is anatomically correct, but I think he stuffed his codpiece.
-Via Laughing Squid
Klingons are one of the most barbaric and less technologically advanced races in the Star Trek universe, and they typically prefer to solve problems with combat actions rather than words.
So how did a race who spends too much time yelling, fighting and feuding and not nearly enough time studying, experimenting or inventing manage to create a warp drive?
According to this comic from Sheldon Comics they got it from that one Klingon who was super into science, the one who has a pencil tucked behind his ear instead of a knife.
-Via Geeks Are Sexy
I grew up around a bunch of latchkey kids who walked themselves home from school every day and often had to make their own dinner because their parent(s) were always working.
This seemed quite normal, and made it easy to find kids to play with after school, but nowadays most parents wouldn't dream of letting their kids live that latchkey life.
Which brings up the question- when is a kid old enough to be left home alone?
This chart created by Thirty Handmade Days attempts to answer that question, breaking it down by age group and showing which states have laws against leaving kids home alone.
It seems a bit ridiculous to worry about leaving a 16-17 year old home alone, but what do you think- do you agree with this chart?
If you think working in retail is hard try working in the customer service department, now those poor employees have to deal with the worst humanity has to offer.
At least they get a good laugh out of some of the customer complaints that come in, although for every fool who can't figure out the right way to open a pizza box there's a customer with a valid problem.
But ever since customers started complaining online their issues with companies have become even more ridiculous.
And now customer service agents have to wade through a sea of trolls to address the real customers with valid complaints, moving us one step closer to the world of Idiocracy.
Dadding ain't easy but it's necessary, so entry level dads who want to work towards father of the year rather than becoming a glorified babysitter have to start learning the tricks of the trade.
And that's why the dad from How To Dad started making videos and such- so he can show newbie dads how to dad it up like a pro.
In this installment How To Dad shows us the "This Dad" and "That Dad" method for installing a baby car seat.
You may still feel like "That Dad" after watching the video, but at least you know you're not alone.
-Via Laughing Squid
For every TV series that goes into production, there are at least five pilots that didn’t make the cut. Some of these sample shows are never seen again, some are aired as specials or TV movies, and a few are accepted but totally changed before becoming a real series. Josh Hadley has a collection of these shows for you, 19 of them in the first of two posts on TV pilots. Some are clearly awful, while others sound promising, like the one called Ice.
Really funny NON-LAUGH TRACK comedy (that was a rarity in the 90’s so it was to be savored) about an isolated research station in the arctic and it’s crew of misfits just trying to remain somewhat sane. Ryan Reynolds (!!!), Michael Jeter and Leland Orser are the only actors I could put names too (my copy has no credits) but there were a few other faces I knew from movies and whatnot.
The comedy was actually funny with odd sub-plots (a female penguin with a crush on Reynolds and Orser being so obsessed with Star Trek that he wears a uniform similar to Classic Trek and records all of his official logs with Stardates being two).
Could really have been a cool (no pun intended) series.
Some of the pilots have video evidence, others have pictures, and some have only synopses. Shows that bein with A through M are in part one. Read about them at Forces of Geek.
This screenshot of a weather radar image over Texas was preserved for posterity. There are plenty of possible headlines. The one at reddit said, “You know its hot when it's raining Jalapeños in Texas.” Or maybe it’s just really chili. Can you come up with a better one?
Two little girls dressed as princesses wander from Brooklyn home to Manhattan where they ordered bagels n McDonalds https://t.co/pu1ofWWFdA— Kirsten Fleming (@KirFlem) July 7, 2016
Zahara and Zamiyah Beary, ages five and seven, got up early on Thursday morning, put on their Disney Princess costumes and shower caps, and set out from their home in Park Slope, Brooklyn, to get breakfast. The girls’ parents were still asleep. The princesses first went to McDonald’s, then a bagel shop, but had no money to pay for their food. A bystander paid for their bagels. The girls then boarded a train and went to Manhattan! By that time, the police were alerted by the parents. Police found the girls at around 9:15, and took them to get hash browns at McDonald’s. The children were reunited with their parents at the 78th Street precinct. -via Fark
Comic strips have a very short amount of time in which to tell a tale or deliver a setup and a punchline, so they're usually pretty straightforward in terms of pacing.
But good comic artists have lots of tricks in their pencil bags which they can pull out at any time in order to poke the reader in the eye, just to make sure they're still paying attention.
And when you've read as many predictable, formulaic and just plain boring comics as I have you learn to appreciate a surprise ending, whether it's happy, sad or WTF inducing.
See 10 Comics With Ending You Did NOT See Coming here (NSFW due to language)
No matter how long you’ve been cleaning things the traditional way, there’s always someone who discovers a new way to do it that’s easier, cheaper, or more effective. That’s especially true for items around the house that get cleaned so rarely that by the time you get around to it, it’s a tough job. Like your oven.
Sooner or later, you’ll need to clean the walls of your oven, but it’s a nasty chore. Oven cleaners are notoriously harsh: most of them smell horrible, and many don’t even work all that well. To get the grime off your oven without the chemical cleaners, pull the vinegar and baking soda out of your pantry and get to work. To do it, mix about half a cup of baking soda with a few tablespoons of water to make a paste. Slather it all over the walls, ceiling, and floor of your oven (wearing rubber gloves is recommended for this), and leave it there overnight. In the morning, take a damp towel and wipe off as much as you can. Then, spray down the walls with vinegar, let it all foam for a few minutes, and use another damp towel to wipe it down again until everything is completely clean.
Hmm. I was waiting for the part where you mix the baking soda and vinegar together in a bowl. That’s more fun, and probably still safer than commercial oven cleaner. That’s only one of ten ways to clean things in your home using tools and chemicals you already have, at Housely.
It’s pretty rare to see someone from the 19th century smiling in a photograph, and even rarer to see a Native American from the era with a big smile. But this young lady is beaming! According to DrColdReality,
The girl's name is written in the lower left: O-o-be, and she's a Kiowa. The photo was taken in 1894. Background, dress, and physical appearance of the image are all period-authentic.
Smiles were still somewhat rare in photos from that era.
American public libraries and the librarians who work there have always had a philosophy of welcomeness to those who want to use the facilities. People who are homeless need a spot where they can exist during the day when shelters are closed, where they won’t be shooed away in favor of paying customers. And as the homeless population continues to grow, libraries are providing more and more services to the homeless people they are so familiar with.
“It’s true, libraries are warm and quiet places for people without homes to go,” says Ryan Dowd, executive director of Hesed House, an Illinois-based homelessness outreach group. “But they are also sanctuaries from the tedium of homelessness. Being homeless is not just dangerous and exhausting — it’s extremely boring.”
In 2013, Dowd created a presentation titled “A Librarian’s Guide to Homelessness,” which he first delivered at his local public library in Aurora, Illinois. He expected it would be a one-off. Since then he’s traveled extensively, giving the talk at dozens of libraries across the country and in other countries, including Canada and Estonia. (A version of the presentation is also available on YouTube.)
“What I heard a lot of was, ‘How do we serve our homeless patrons better?’” said Dowd. “That surprised me. It was not about minimizing the disruptiveness or destructiveness of homeless patrons. It was about how to reach out to that demographic and serve them better.”
Libraries are looking into ways to meet the needs of their patrons, including the homeless. The San Francisco Public Library even hired a full-time social worker in 2009. Several others have followed their lead. Read about the many ways libraries are helping those who need it most, at Timeline. -via Digg
(Image credit: Flickr user Wally Gobetz)
Grandpa is a wise old man. He gives good advice when it’s to his advantage, because he’s spent a lifetime figuring other people out. The young man could learn more from Grandpa if he’d look a little deeper. And while Gramps may regret not skydiving in his youth, he certainly doesn’t want to do it now, because a nap on the porch with no interruptions is a lovely way to spend the afternoon. This is the latest from Buttersafe.
Some photos chosen for Photoshop competitions would actually benefit from a little digital modification, but this picture of a goofy looking kid with a raft on his head is pure gold on its own.
Which is why it's actually perfect for a Photoshop battle, because that kid looks like he's in need of some equally goofy looking friends.
Photoshop can help Raft Boy achieve his dreams without the usual real life complications, allowing him to become the youngest ballerino at the Bolshoi despite his lack of formal training
It can also help Raft Boy grow up to a be a bright, bold and healthy boy rich in vitamin D
And may get him the dog he's always wanted
Being a part of the PsBattle may be the best thing that ever happened to little Raft Boy, but hopefully the internet fame won't go to his head or he may become a little terror
This is why I don’t have a dog. Oh, cats do the same thing, except you don’t have to go with them, just let them in and out. All day long. Sometimes I think pets are just messing with us to see how obedient we are to their whims. This is the latest from Megacynics.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m expected to join in, and my instincts tell me I should, but honestly, guys, I’d just as soon take a nap. Maybe just a little 'woo' will do."
Looking for a legal representative who won't bore you to death with their blandness?
Tired of being battered about like a little field mouse when you've got the heart of a bald eagle beating in your chest?
Then you're in the market for someone who is ready to tear justice a new one, you're looking to hire Bryan Wilson, the Texas Law Hawk.
I know what you're thinking- was that Simon Pegg and Peter Dinklage playing river cops? The answer depends on your level of sobriety...
Ernesto Llamas is a Ph.D. student at the Center for Research in Agricultural Genomics in Barcelona, Spain. He uses a micropipette a lot. He also draws comics about his life in science, which he posts at the Facebook page Sketching Science.
Recurring themes in the comics are of scientists being lonely and …micropipettes. You draw what you know. If you’ve ever worked in a biology lab, or you know someone who does, these will hit home.
When you grow up in a wealthy family, you don’t know any other way until much later. In a recent AskReddit forum, some rich kids shared the moment that they found out everyone else’s lives are not like theirs.
I thought everyone got to eat dinner quite often with the president. I always thought the president has dinner at random houses until I learned otherwise when I finally joined regular school (I was homeschooled till I was age 9) and no kid believed my "dinner story "
*Dad was Ambassador of Kenya to Saudi Arabia
Taking trips overseas constantly. I remember being so surprised in elementary school that my friends had never been to Europe. My earliest memory takes place in a villa in Monaco.
Also, apparently 6 year olds aren't supposed to like tartare or oysters on the half shell.
I was trying to show a friend of mine that she's rich because her family has a TEAM of maids and drivers. Seriously, a driver for every member of the family. She said she's not rich, because "Everyone has maids and drivers." I asked her... do you think your maids and drivers have maids and drivers? I think then it clicked that she might be rich.
Even as a child, I had this same idea. I saw Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and then played all the parts in the privacy of my bedroom, and the mirror always showed me the answer to the question. The real magic, I figured, was in asking the right question. If the Evil Queen had asked who was the most evil person in the kingdom, she would have gotten the same answer when looking in a mirror. This is the latest comic from Alex Culang and Raynato Castro of Buttersafe.
How you feel about the Postal Service depends on whether they brought you a check or bills today. But these couriers keep their appointed rounds no matter what they are delivering. And they deliver 154 billion pieces of mail every year! On an individual level, you might know your postal carrier’s name, but probably not a lot about his or her job. For example,
1. YOUR MAILBOX IS HOME TO HIDDEN DANGER.
Cliches are clichés for a reason, and most postal workers will admit to having some concern over unfriendly dogs on their route. But a smaller, equally painful danger remains under-publicized. According to Kenny, a carrier in the Midwest, reaching into a mailbox to deposit your letters can sometimes be hazardous to his health. “Wasps like to get into mailboxes,” he says. “Especially if they have an outgoing mail slot. They build a nest in there. I’ve been stung quite a few times.”
2. THEIR SATCHEL HAS A HIDDEN PURPOSE.
The shoulder-slung sack of mail on a carrier’s shoulder isn’t just to tote credit card offers. During carrier orientation, workers are taught that the satchel is their first line of defense against aggressive dogs. (They can also use parcels to parry attacks.) “There’s a whole training program on it,” Kenny says. “You try to keep it between you and the dog.” Carriers are also issued pepper spray. “I hate to use it, but sometimes you have to,” Kenny admits. He estimates he’s been bit nine or 10 times. “I’ve never needed stitches, but I’ve known carriers who have.”
Read a dozen other secrets about your mail carrier’s job at mental_floss.
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