Blog Posts Lisa Marcus Likes

Craigslist Ad: Man Will Pretend to Be Your Horrible Boyfriend in Order to Torment Your Family

I missed this wonderful news story from a few days ago and some ladies missed a great opportunity. Nick Schimdt of Nashville, Tennessee placed an ad on Craigslist, offering to be some woman's Thanksgiving dinner date. Schmidt, a convicted felon and high school dropout, was prepared to pretend to be someone's boyfriend during Thanksgiving dinner:

I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree, and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if i shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your stictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game.

In exchange for a free dinner, he would also:

  • talk about politics and religion
  • openly hit on other female guests
  • pretend to get really drunk
  • start a fistfight with a member of your family on the front lawn in full view of the neighbors

Prior to Thanksgiving, he told a reporter that he had secured a date. Schmidt promised to live-tweet the date, but the results of that date are unclear in his Twitter timeline.

It's now too late to have Thanksgiving dinner with Schmidt, but you can make use of his other services.

-via Tastefully Offensive

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Celery and Olives Dominated Thanksgiving for Nearly 100 Years—Until They Didn’t

I just bought celery and olives yesterday. I always buy them for Thanksgiving, but rarely any other time of the year. Olives are a special treat, and the adults in my family love them. I use celery in my cornbread dressing, and the rest of the stalk is served alone or stuffed. However, I did not know that the two were traditional on everyone’s Thanksgiving tables for almost a century, and then faded out in the 1970s. It all started when fresh produce began to be transported across the country to be enjoyed whatever the season.

The pairing of the two was both a result of the fact that they were introduced and made readily available around the same time and they served a similar purpose: both celery and olives were palate cleansers, and ones that didn’t require a servant.

“People were looking for a palate cleanser in between Thanksgiving’s richer courses,” explained [Rick] Rodgers. “At a family meal where you don’t have servants, the tray of celery and olives could be put on the table and you didn’t need a servant to serve a sorbet course.”

Advertising played a big part, too. Celery and olives eventually became “traditional” at Thanksgiving. But what happened in the 1970s to change that? Read the entire story of celery and olives on the Thanksgiving menu at

Will your Thanksgiving table have olives and celery?

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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A Train So Luxurious, You Can Ride in a Bathtub

(Photo: Rovos Rail)

If you're trying to get between Point A and Point B as quickly as possible, then South Africa's Rovos Rail isn't for you. It offers luxurious tours across southern Africa, hauled by one of several restored antique steam engine locomotives. It takes 15 days to travel from Cape Town to Dar es Salaam--a journey that takes only a few hours by air.

On one of these long expeditions, you can travel in luxurious surroundings designed to resemble a lost, golden age of elite railway travel. If you get a royal suite, you can sit in a full-size bathtub and watch the scenery go by outside enormous windows. There is also a classically-decorated dining car. Gentlemen must wear jackets and ties while dining there.

Now put your cellphones away. There are no televisions, radios, or Wi-Fi on this train. Travellers are not allowed to use electronic devices outside of their suites. Instead, you're supposed to, well, talk to each other.

-via Christine Blau and Marilyn Terrell

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Nick Cage Rear Window Wiper

Redditor senekafalls commissioned the creation of this, the world's greatest car window sticker. Car Stickers did the actual work, but it was senekafalls's idea--and a brilliant one at that. S/he says that it's printed on 70/30 transparency plastic, so it's translucent from the inside and therefore legal.

I hope that, someday, before I pass into the next life, I am overtaken on the road by Nick Cage waving to me.

-via Jalopnik

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Pineapple Jack-o'-Lantern

This pineapple looks much more frightening than an ordinary jack-o'-lantern! Cory Doctorow of Boing Boing saw it at a Trader Vic's in Portland, Oregon. It would be great for a Halloween party with a Tiki theme.

-via Make

Love Halloween and cosplay? Check out our Halloween Blog!

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10 Things You Didn’t Know About Life in Paris

When Rosecrans Baldwin, the author of Paris, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down, took a copywriting job at a French advertising agency and relocated from Brooklyn to the 3rd arrondissement, he imagined a life of baguettes, croissants, and other fine carbohydrates. The reality of expat living in Paris, he soon learned, was a little bit more complicated.

1. There’s an actual psychological disorder called Paris syndrome. It occurs when a tourist arrives in Paris and is so distressed to find the city does not meet his or her romantic expectations that it causes a breakdown. It strikes about a dozen people each year. Japanese visitors are particularly susceptible, possibly due to the über-romantic image that Paris holds in Japan. The Japanese embassy once repatriated several sufferers with a doctor or nurse aboard the plane.

2. Parisian doctors work from home. Not all of them, of course, but the physician I saw did. It’s unsettling to walk through a doctor’s living room, past her children’s things, to reach an examination room full of medical equipment. She also answered her own phone and could always see me within a few hours. At the time, I wondered if she was really a doctor.

3. McDonalds is perceived by lots of people to be a wholesome restaurant. But the French still eat their takeout in classic French style: over several courses. Lots of my French co-workers would get takeout from there nearly every day. A few chicken nuggets to start. Then a burger, possibly two burgers -un Big Tasty or un Royal Deluxe- plus fries and perhaps a beer. This was followed up by a small house salad, then dessert (no French meal is complete without dessert). All of this was consumed over the course of 45 minutes, with plenty of time for casual conversation.

4. The French are very polite, especially to one another.

Continue reading

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366 Weird Movies You Need To See


            Image Credit: Audubon Films

The first weird film I ever remember seeing was Eraserhead when I was just a teenager, and man did it mess with my head.  What I had noticed days after watching it was, unlike most films, Eraserhead stuck with me. It seeped like black oil into my subconscious and just seemed to stay there. From that moment on, I have had a bit of an obsession with weird movies. Movies that are not afraid to tell unconventional stories. Movies so strange and surreal, most would ignore them. So you can only imagine my delight when I found the site 366 Weird Movies. I feel lot like Charlie when he got his golden ticket today.

On most sites, you may get one or two top ten lists of weird movies, but this a site devoted to them. Now if you don't mind, I need to go spend the rest of my life going through this website and finding wonderfully twisted movies to lose myself in.

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What to Do When You See Something on the Internet You Disagree with

Occasionally, as you surf the internet, you may encounter thoughts and opinions that are different from your own. You should have a plan in place so that you can respond properly at the time. Some people feel a duty to correct faulty assertions. What will be the outcome of such an encounter? Julia Lepetit and Andrew Bridgman of Dorkly offer an interactive game on the subject.

Personally, to prepare for such a disaster, I keep a large supply of ponies just one click away.

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Beagle Cop, The Canine Detective

And that was the day my dog saved my life. If he had not torn up that pillow and pooped on the floor, I would never have made it hope. Thank you, Beagle Cop, for responding to my dog's emergency so quickly and intelligently.

Lately, cartoonist Jim Benton has been working on a series called Beagle Cop--the dog with a badge. So far, there are three cartoons in the series.

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How to Move a Couch

(YouTube link)

Which would you prefer: carry a couch down two flights of stairs, negotiating tight corners, or would you rather just throw it off the third floor balcony and be done with it? These guys came up with an alternative scheme that’s somewhere in between those two extremes. What could possibly go wrong? I might call this Southern ingenuity, but the lack of accent in the narration makes it seem more like Yankee ingenuity. -via reddit

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Good Grief! Rejected Peanuts Specials

(Peanuts Guy t-shirt)

The comic strip Peanuts was made into several feature films that are regularly aired on American television--even today. Most prominent among them are A Charlie Brown Christmas and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Over nearly 50 years, ABC, CBS, and Fox made more than two dozen Peanuts specials. Some proposals for others were, though, rejected.

#rejectedpeanutsspecials is a funny hashtag currently trending on Twitter. It’s filled with ideas for Charlie Brown stories that were, thankfully, never put into production. Here are a few examples:

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This Scorpion Chair Is Everything I've Ever Wanted in an Office Chair

When someone comes into my office, I want that person to adopt an attitude most conducive to a productive working relationship. And now I know what is the perfect design for that purpose: the Scorpion Chair (translation) by Vyacheslav Pakhomov. It costs 230,000 rubles, which is about $5,749 USD. 

-via OhGizmo!

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Street Fighter: Angry Goat Edition

It's not Goat Simulator, but an even more realistic game set in the Street Fighter universe. Insert two quarters to play. I recommend Angry Goat vs. Chun-Li for the most vigorous gameplay experience. 

(Video Link)

It's inspired by footage of an aggressive goat in Londrina, Brazil. Who should play the goat in the movie version of this game?

-via Tastefully Offensive

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The Woman with Three Breasts

Sometimes I come across an intriguing story and decide not to post it here because it doesn’t pass the smell test, meaning it might not be true. Such was the case when Jasmine Tridevil’s story went viral Monday of this week. The massage therapist from Tampa said she spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to have a third breast added, Total Recall-style. She is also trying to put together a reality TV show about her life. Of course she is. The first question everyone had was “What plastic surgeon would do this?” Tridevil said she went through dozens of surgeons before one would agree to give her a third breast, and then only if she promised never to reveal his name (link is NSFW). That’s a big red flag.

Click to see image. Not nude, but may be NSFW.

(Image credit: Jasmine Tridevil)

During a visit from a local TV news reporter on Tuesday, Tridevil was reticent about showing too much or talking too much. She said it was because she’s saving the details for her reality show. In the same news report, a plastic surgeon speculated that Tridevil may have psychological issues.

Then TMZ got into the act, by digging up anything they could on Jasmine Tridevil. What they found was a report of some luggage stolen from her at Tampa International Airport. Tridevil’s black bag was recovered, and inventoried. Among the items it contained: three breast prostheses. You draw your own conclusions from that.

But wait, there’s more! I decided to post this story at this late date because now there’s a punchline. Like many internet memes, it’s been turned into a Halloween costume! No, theres not enough time to get this to the manufacturers and back for the holiday, but did the next best thing: they posted instructions on how you can recreate the costume using their inflatable fake breasts and a few accessories.

Click to see image. Not nude, but may be NSFW.

The real question is, will anyone remember this by the time Halloween rolls around in five weeks? Or will Jasmine Tridevil’s fifteen minutes be up before then? Who knows, but there is always the possibility that some TV network somewhere will pick up her reality show. -via Uproxx

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Laughter after 9/11: How Jon Stewart, David Letterman, and Other Comedians Responded at the Time

(Video Link)

After the terrorist attacks in the United States 13 years ago, all television programming went to news coverage and commentary 24 hours a day.

But it couldn't remain that way forever. Eventually, we all had to go back to our daily lives and resume our work.

For comedians and talk show hosts, that work was making us laugh. But how do you make people laugh after what happened? Should you make people laugh? These are questions that comedy providers had to answer thoughtfully and tastefully, sensitive to the raw feelings of their audiences.

Carol Hartsell of the Huffington Post rounded up the immediate responses of America's comedians after they went back to work. Her list includes videos from Jon Stewart and David Letterman and links to articles that appeared in The Onion.

I was especially impressed with Conan O'Brien's address to his audience. I've never met him, but O'Brien has long struck me as a decent and well-grounded person. This video demonstrates his ability and willingness to be both caring and professional.

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Funny: All the Comments on Every Recipe Blog

(Photo: Robert S. Donovan)

There's a common proverb on the internet: "Don't read the comments." Often online comments may make you despair for humanity.* This is especially true for recipe blogs, where comments commonly demonstrate an inability to follow instructions or general objections to the concept of food. Mallory Ortberg of The Toast has helpfully listed all of them so that you need no longer gaze into the abyss. Here is a sampling:

“I didn’t have any eggs, so I replaced them with a banana-chia-flaxseed pulse. It turned out terrible; this recipe is terrible.”

“Could you please give the metric weight measurements, and sometime in the next twenty minutes; I’m making this for a dinner party and my guests are already here.”

“Have you thought about making a sugar-free version of this?”

“Can you give us a calorie breakdown for this?”

“a warning that if you cook this at 275°F for three hours instead of at 400°F for twenty-five minutes its completely ruined. do you have any suggestions?”

“I didn’t have buttermilk, so I just poured baking soda into a container of raspberry yogurt. It tasted terrible.”

“If you use olive oil for any recipe that’s cooked over 450°F, the oil will denature and you will get cancer. This post is irresponsible. You should only use grapeseed oil you’ve pressed yourself in a very cold room.”

“I just started Paleo yesterday, and I’m wondering if there’s a way to make this without the ingredients.”

“Have you considered making a version of this margherita pizza for your readers who are trying to avoid gluten, dairy and nightshades? What if I shoved a roll of basil leaves in my mouth, do you think that would taste good?”

“If you don’t soak the seeds for at least fourteen hours before using, the phytic acid will give you cancer. Just thought you should know.”

-via Stella Parks

*This does not apply to Neatorama comments, which are left by readers who are thoughtful, wise, insightful, and good-looking.

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Largest Dinosaur Named Dreadnoughtus

A few months ago, we told you about the largest dinosaur fossils ever found, discovered in La Flecha, Patagonia, Argentina. The bones unearthed have proved to be a treasure, comprising two dinos, the larger one with 115 bones and a tooth -a much more complete set of bones than most fossil finds.

Today an international team of paleontologists unveiled the newest Mesozoic badass: Dreadnoughtus schrani. Weighing in at an astonishing 65 tons, standing two stories high at the shoulder, and measuring 85 feet long, this titan is the heaviest dinosaur we've ever (accurately) measured. And its discovery represents the most fossil mass ever found for a single organism—a paleontologist's dream.

"For the [largest] dinosaurs, which we call titanosaurs, finding anything around 20 percent of the fossil is usually considered a home run," says Kenneth Lacovara, the lead Drexel University paleontologist behind the find. "Normally you only find a handful of bones, and the previous record was a 27 percent complete skeleton. With Dreadnoughtus we found 70 percent."   

Scientists studying the huge reconstructed Dreadnoughtus say it lived 77 million years ago, and was still growing when it died! Read more about the fossil reconstruction at Popular Mechanics. -via reddit

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Mutant Giant Spider Dog

(YouTube link)

It’s bad enough when you open a door and see a spider. How much worse is it when you open a door at night and a three-foot-long hairy spider rushes at you? Relax, this is a dog in a really nice tarantula costume. Doesn’t make a bit of difference to strangers who are pranked by seeing him emerge in the dark. This prank was pulled off by SA Wardęga. The fact that most of the prankees have their faces blurred tells me they have yet to forgive him. -via BroBible

Love Halloween and cosplay? Check out our Halloween Blog!

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2 Dogs Use Teamwork to Retrieve Their Favorite Toy from a Pool

(Video Link)

Someone has thrown the tire into the pool! This is a terrible calamity that the two pups must resolve. It's quite heavy and it's at the bottom of the center of the pool. So how can they get it out?

One dog jumps in. In the video, you can almost see his mind turning, searching for a solution as he experiments with different techniques.

The pair are ultimately successful. But only because, at the end, they work together.

-via Nothing to Do with Aborath

P.S. What breed are these dogs? The video says bulldogs but their body shape seems more like that of boxers.

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Tucker Finds a Home

You may have seen pictures of this sad-looking cat over the past few weeks. This is Tucker, and she has genetic abnormalities that give her droopy eyes, extremely sensitive skin (hence the t-shirts), and deformed legs. Yet Tucker is a sweet, gentle cat who came into the care of Purrfect Pals Cat Shelter in Arlington, Washington. And after a recent spate of publicity, Tucker has a new home!   

Many people applied to adopt Tucker. She ultimately went home with Katie, who is a vet tech and, along with her husband, lives with their cat Poe, who has similar special needs. Tucker couldn’t have ordered up a more perfect match. Now she will have a loving family, custom-made t-shirts, and a companion cat that can relate. -via Daily of the Day

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Time-Lapse Video of Panama Canal Traffic Is Simply Sublime

The Panama Canal opened for business 100 years ago this month. By 2005, 5% of the world's seagoing traffic crossed it, including 70% of the cargo heading in and out of the United States. It remains, even today, a technological and logistical marvel.

(Video Link)

This time-lapse video from ZipCams illustrates that by showing a day of traffic (April Fool's Day, 2012) through the Miraflores Locks. You can watch live camera footage of those locks here.

-via Gizmodo

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Dog and Cat Are Best Friends Forever

Who says that dogs and cats can't be friends? Certainly not these two. Oliver the dog and Arashi the cat are best friends. They do everything together! Each of us would be lucky to have a friendship like this one. You can see more photos at their Instagram account.

Continue reading
Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Doggy Pool Party Makes Me Wish I Was a Dog

(Video Link)

Lucky Puppy is a cage-free dog day care facility in Maybee, Michigan. There's a 21 by 41-foot bone-shaped pool for lucky dogs who get a break from their human families. It's a walk-in pool, which is great for pups like mine who prefer to get just their bellies wet.

Other dogs, particularly those of the Labrador persuasion, though, jump in as quickly and as often as possible!

-via The Presurfer

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Sophisticated Poodle Prepares His Own Food

(Video Link)

Louie the poodle is a canine of refined tastes. No ordinary slop thrown into the bowl is good enough for him. The local humans cannot be trusted to cater to his tastes, so Louie himself mixes the dry and wet dog food into the proper combination.

Give this pooch a cooking show on the Food Network!

-via Nothing to Do with Abroath

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Now There's No Reason to Ever Get out of Bed Again

Desk designs that require you to move around are popular these days. Many people have standing desks. Others use treadmill desks, even though they impair your work performance.

If this is the lifestyle that you prefer, go for it. But I think that this trend in desk design is going in the wrong direction. The ideal position is not standing upright, but lying supine. The wise Sir Winston Churchill explained its value when asked for the secret to his success in life:

Conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down.

Precisely! Therefore this desk on sale in Japan is perfect for work and napping performance. You can save energy by skipping wasteful activities, such as sitting up in bed. The panel can rotate 360º and lock into six positions.

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Slow Jam Version of the My Little Pony Theme Song

(Video Link)

My little pony, my little pony
What does the future hold?
My little pony, my little pony
Isn’t the world a lovely place?
My little pony, my little pony
Everywhere you go is a smiling face.
Running and skipping
Merrily tripping
Watching the morning unfold
My little pony, my little pony
What does the future hold?

Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox presents this slow jam version of the theme song to My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. We've previously seen them rework "Royals," "Sweet Child O' Mine," and the theme songs of Game of Thrones and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now Bradlee's band shows the Elements of (musical) Harmony from Equestria. Welcome to the herd, Mr. Bradlee. *brohoof*

(Video Link)

-Thanks, Lisa Marcus!

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Crab Eating Noodles

(Video Link)

Crabs can be obnoxious guests. Yesterday, we saw one steal a beer from a man. This one is ready to chow down on someone's naengmyeon, which is a Korean noodle dish. He'd better leave a tip if he wants good service in the future.

-via Nothing to Do with Aborath

Love cute animals? View more at Lifestyles of the Cute and Cuddly blog

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Glove and Boots Take on Clickbait

(Video Link)

I'll be honest with you: this video will not blow your mind, nor be the best part of the day. If I ever post anything that becomes the best part of your day, you need to re-assess the major decisions that you've made over the course of your life.

Are you tired of misleading or emotionally overcharged headlines that encourage you to click on a link? Do you see sites offer deliberately and ridiculously contrarian perspectives (AKA #SlatePitches)? So are the puppets in this Glove and Boots video. They compare the practice with the fable of The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

I will occasionally say that an item is "awesome" or "spectacular" or, more rarely, refer to a posted item as "the neatest thing I've seen all week" because I think that it is. But I don't do it often because that is a currency that depreciates if used too frequently.

Yet let me say this in defense of clickbait: it appears to be a commercially successful model. As far as I can tell, it gets clicks and earns revenue.

-via Huffington Post

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Everyday Life in New York City in the 1890s

Social reformer and photojournalist Jacob Riis took many pictures of New York City in the 1890s to show how “the other half” lives. Those pictures are now part of The City Museum, and a selection is online at Vintage Everyday. These pictures show the streets of the city, the back alleys, tenements, poorhouses, schools, sweatshops, and makeshift livings spaces for the struggling poor of the era.

As you see how much has changed in the past century, you also realize that cities still have sweatshop workers, homeless people, crowded slums, and marginalized folks getting by the best they can. -via mental_floss

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Homeless in Hawaii: A Nightmare in Paradise

Roberta Huddy, 50, has lived in her van with her husband for about a year. They are constantly moving to avoid harassment and ticketing by the police. Photo: PF Bentley/Civil Beat

Living in the tropical paradise of Hawaii - with its glistening surfs and golden sands - is dream to many of us, but to some, it's a living nightmare.

With the highest cost of living of any state in the United States of America, it's no wonder that Hawaii has a problem with homelessness. There's an estimated 4,700 homeless people living in the Hawaiian island of Oahu (1,600 of them go without shelter at any given night). Honolulu, the largest city of the island, has the dubious distinction of being fifth in the list of US cities with high homelessness rate. The island itself has the largest homeless encampment in the United States.

But tourists visiting Honolulu probably didn't notice. Mayor Kirk Caldwell was recently lauded for cleaning up the problem at the beaches of Waikiki. "Police officers came up to me and said it looks much better," Caldwell said to Civil Beat, "Residents who live there came up to me and said, 'Mayor, what are you doing? It looks so much better.'"

But the reality is that the homeless are still homeless - they didn't find housing, but instead, they were being bounced from "sidewalk to sidewalk and park to park," as Nick Grube of Civil Beat reports:

A good night’s sleep in Waikiki is hard to come by for Roberta Huddy.

She became homeless about a year ago after losing her job as a guest services agent at one of the hotels.

Now Huddy, who was born and raised on Kauai, lives in a worn-down Ford Astro with her husband, Greg, on Kalakaua Avenue next to Kapiolani Park.

Their few belongings fill the vehicle from the passenger seat to the back hatch, blankets on the floor serving as a makeshift bed.

The van is also their getaway vehicle. It allows them to avoid police and city park crews who have ramped up their efforts to clear the homeless out of Waikiki.

Like many others who live on the streets, the Huddys are on the run.

“All they say is that we should move around,” Huddy complained while perched on the edge of her Astro. “At night I like to go up to Kapahulu because at least there I can sleep in peace.”

Read the entire story over at Civil Beat.

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Profile for Lisa Marcus

  • Member Since 2012/12/13


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