Today’s Google Doodle is a video Valentine story of how a guy learns the way to a girl’s heart. Music by Tony Bennett.

All over the world, people show their feelings of love to each other in their own ways. Kien Lam (previously at Neatorama) made a special Valentine’s Day video to remind us how universal the expression of love really is. He has more information about the video at his website. Link

Now that you can get duct tape in just about any color imaginable, why not make your Valentine some roses that are darn near indestructible? As a commenter at Metafilter said,

Because nothing says “Let’s stick together,” like a “realis-stick” rose made of duct tape.

See how it’s done at Instructables. Link -via Metafilter

Artist Marcelo Gallegos has several lovely Valentine cards that stray from the normal hearts and flowers but still convey romance. This card depicting the elder god in love is my favorite. See the others at his Etsy store. Link -via Buzzfeed

If you’re so broke that you must stoop to buying a card that screams “economy!” on the front, then you’re better off making one from bubblegum wrappers, or not sending one at all.

Cheekily, the message inside reads “My love for you is priceless!”

The card costs 7p. However much that is in American cents, it’s pretty cheap. Link -via Metafilter

Amanda Joyner makes fascinators and pillbox hats that she sells at her Etsy store. Several are modeled after candy message hearts that would be perfect for Valentines Day! Order yours early enough and you might be able to specify the color or message. Link

Artist Elliot Quince made linocut prints of creepy/funny zombie valentines you can print out and give to someone you love -if they have a sense of humor! What better way to say “Happy Valintestines Day”? Link -via Laughing Squid

The Saint Bernard–someone who slobbers way too much, leaving their partner’s face looking like a microwaved glazed donut.

The Wrecking Ball–someone who lunges in so hard they clank their teeth against the other person’s, breaking more than the moment and possibly leaving their partner with the smile of a hockey player.

The Meat Grinder–someone who forgets (or doesn’t care) that they have braces and like a Saw film proceeds to attack their partner’s tongue and lips with their cheese grater grill.

Vlad the Impaler–someone who repeatedly shoves their Gene Simmons-sized tongue down their partner’s throat, testing their gag reflex.

Oh, there are more, which you’ll find at Geeks Are Sexy. Link

Don’t worry ladies, there are plenty of ways for you to passive aggressively tell your man he isn’t attractive enough. This great product can remind him that he’s not only bald, but that he’s disgustingly sweaty too. Hooray for destroying your lover’s self confidence!

This is just one of a dozen gifts that say, “I have no idea how to shop for Valentines Day.” Link

Yippee! We’re now carrying wonderful products from indie artists Ashley and Hannah of Hoopla in the Neatorama Online Store.

This particular one above, My Punny Valentine, is a set of 5 revamped 1950′s style Valentine cards that feature really bad – and therefore really awesome – puns. They are perfect for Valentine’s Day!

Also, check out the Forever Bouquet, a dozen colorful "freshly cut" paper flowers that will never need sun or water. It lasts forever, and in this economy, that counts for a lot!

Link

Norma “Crankbunny” Toraya has some wonderful creations in her Etsy store, perfect for Valentine’s Day. Head over to see the Secret Decoder Valentine Card, Valentine Dancing Paper Puppet Robot Doll, and Key to Ones Heart Valentine Popup Card.

*Previously: Best Valentine’s Day gifts ever.

Making of the Marmite Statue. Photo: Liz Hunt [Flickr]

On Valentine’s Day, sculptor and Marmite lover Jeremy Fattorini recreated Rodin’s "The Kiss" made with 420 jars of Marmite!

Jeremy had this to say:

“It will be interesting to see if this gains more popularity than the statue at St Pancras. I’m sure that Marmite will once again polarize the nation – you’ll either love it or hate it. It’s a good thing I like the stuff, as I was licking my fingers as I created it!” (Source)

What’s Marmite? Here ya go: Marmite [Wikipedia]

St Valentine of course is the patron saint of making single people feel like crap — each year, the celebration drifts further away from the celebration of love, and further towards the celebration of fluffy handcuffs, expensive flowers, thoughtless greetings cards and other tat shaped into heart shaped packaging, putting pressure on people in relationships to partake of their hard earned cash and actually buy this crap.

Simply put, St. Skeletor Day’s purposes are:

1) The destruction of "lurrve"
2) The destruction of saucy greeting cards
3) The destruction of people with boyfriends/girlfriends

Link

Ben Fowlkes at our pal Crave Online website echoes the sentiment and calls for men of the world to unite and put and end to Valentine’s Day:

In the world of men, no one looks forward to Valentine’s Day. It’s stupid, and we all know it. It’s not just stupid because it was made up by candy and greeting card companies. All holidays are made up, after all. Valentine’s Day is stupid because it’s impossible to take seriously, and at the same time it’s impossible to ignore. At least, it used to be impossible to ignore. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if we band together.

Somehow, a New York City lockup, a small-time rapper named Sixty Second Assassin, and a spontaneous freestyle rapping competition figured into all this! Link

Previously on Neatorama: Love, Japanese Style

India’s hard-line Hindu are showing no love for The Day of Love, too:

India’s Hindu hard-liners are showing no love for Valentine’s Day. A few dozen protesters briefly blocked a road in downtown New Delhi on Wednesday, burning Valentine’s Day cards and chanting "Down with Valentine." In the nearby city of Lucknow, extremists threatened to beat up couples found celebrating their love.
more stories like this

"We are deadly against Valentine’s Day," said Sapan Dutta, a regional leader of the hard-line Shiv Sena group. "We are for civilized love and affection."

The protests by groups like Shiv Sena, who say they are defending traditional Indian values from Western-style promiscuity, have become an annual media event.

Link

For those of you who didn’t get it, here’s a little story about Vincent van Gogh’s ear:

Van Gogh felt an increasing fear that Gauguin was going to desert him, and what he described as a situation of "excessive tension" reached a crisis point on 23 December 1888, when Van Gogh stalked Gauguin with a razor and then cut off the lower part of his own left ear, which he wrapped in newspaper and gave to a prostitute named Rachel in the local brothel, asking her to "keep this object carefully." (Source)

Healthwise, Vincent was a basket case. Over the years, doctors came up with various mental and physical diagnoses including temporal lobe epilepsy, bipolar disorder, absinthe poisoning, lead poisoning, hypergraphia, and sunstroke (Source).

And on that note, Happy Valentin’s Day, everyone! Be sure to visit Dan Piraro’s website and blog for more Bizarro.

Update 2/14/08 – here’s another cute one, Dog and Cat’s Valentine:

Can’t wait for this year’s Darwinian Valentine’s Day Card Contest at Skepchick blog! Last year, they did a top 10 Best Darwinian Pick-up Lines, for example:

10. Trust me Baby, my selection is ALL natural!
9. Why don’t you unzip my pants and let me show you the descent of man?
6. You cause selective pressure in my pants. How about we split – leave these Neanderthals behind?
4. Girl, you so fine, you make me want to do a Cambrian explosion between your strata.

Check out the rest of the Darwinian Pick Up Lines | This year’s Darwinian Valentine’s Day Card Contest – Thanks Rebecca!

Previously on Neatorama: Geeky Science Valentine | Scientist Valentine | Neatest Science Valentine: You’re More Special Than Relativity

ZOMG, this is my most favoritest Valentine EVAR! It’s made by Chris of Jack of Science blog. Read the rest of his creations and weep: Link – Thanks Chris!

Previously on Neatorama: Geeky Science Valentines | Scientist Valentines

From the same folks that did the Dharma Initiative Rations featured on Neatorama way back when, here is the Bureau of Communication’s web forms you can email:

The Bureau of Communication has a collection of old-fashioned and very official-looking forms for all the mundane bits of communication in life.
Whether you wish formally apologize, air a grievance or simply acknowledge a holiday, they have a card to match your sentiment.

The new "Declaration of Romantic Intent" form is ready just in time for valentines day. Perfect for when you ought to express your attraction in the most clinical way fashionable, without all the treacly hugs and kisses of most valentines day greetings.

Link | Main page with other forms – Thanks Joshua Keay!

Previously on Neatorama: Geeky Science Valentines | Scientist Valentines

David Friedman of Ironic Sans got the best collection of Valentine’s Day cards EVAR: the Scientists Valentines featuring Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton, Carl Sagan, Marie Curie and Albert Einstein.

See the whole collection here: Link – Thanks Allen

Link (warning: gross factor is HIGH) – Thanks carl!

What a fantastic idea! Flickr user Prozac74 made this photo, titled A Dream Come True, for a Valentine’s Day present for his wife.

Etsy seller and artist Elise Towle Snow created this sweet and geeky valentine, called "Wii Belong Together." Link – via Boing Boing

//Though I personally would like one that says "Let me play with your XBOX" Bad?

Hearts Atwirl has a very neat collection of vintage valentines from the early to mid 20th century. Some are very cute, some don’t make much sense and others are plain old creepy and racially offensive (sign o’ the times…)

Link – Thanks Darren!