Neatorama » irony

Titanic II Sinks

Phil Haney — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 17:32:16 +0000

I’m not one to believe in bad luck, but if you name your boat after one of the most infamous disasters in nautical history you’re just asking for trouble. Apparently that is just what happened to Mark Wilkinson when he set sail in his boat, Titanic II.

When Wilkinson returned to the harbor on his second-hand boat (worth about $1,600), it sprung a leak. U.K. newspaper The Sun reported that a large hole opened up in the fiberglass hull. Soon, the stern of the boat was fully submerged in water. As the small cruiser went down stern-first, Wilkinson abandoned ship when a harbor master threw in a life preserver attached to a rope.

Link

Five More Inventors Killed By Their Own Creations

Jill Harness — Fri, 06 May 2011 12:17:04 +0000

Inventing is a great way to leave your mark on the world, but in some unfortunate circumstances, inventions have been known to leave the mark of death on their inventors. A few years ago, we wrote a post about five inventors who were killed by their own inventions, but that is not the full extent of these poor creators. Here are five more people whose own inventions resulted in their untimely demise.

Marie Curie

Perhaps the most influential inventor on this list is Maria Sklodowska-Curie. Maria co-discovered both radium and polonium and revolutionized modern chemistry when she discovered a method to isolate radioactive isotopes. She was so well-respected that she became the first female professor at the University of Paris. If that weren’t impressive enough, she was not only the first woman to receive a Nobel Prize, she was also the first person to receive two Nobel Prizes. Even the word “radioactive” was her creation.

Unfortunately, being one of the first researchers to work with radioactive particles, she did not understand the dangers they presented to the human body. Most of her work was carried out in a shed without any protective measures whatsoever. Eventually, she died from aplastic anemia caused by extensive exposure to ionized radiation that emanated from her research materials.

Her shed has now been converted to a museum, but her paperwork, even her cookbook, is so radioactive that they are too dangerous to handle without protective gear and are stored in lead-lined boxes.

Horace Lawson Hunley

Horace had a number of careers, serving as a legislator, a lawyer and a confederate marine engineer in his short 40 years, but it was his role as a marine engineer that he will be best remembered for. Horace was the inventor of the first combat submarine. His creation, the H.L. Hunley, was known to be dangerous after five out of nine crew members died on the device’s first run in an attempt to attack the Union blockade in the Charleston Harbor, but that didn’t stop the inventor or the confederacy from investing more time and manpower into the device.

Like any good inventor, Horace knew he couldn’t quit. He kept working on the sub and was so willing to stand by his work that he served on the second run to attack the blockade. Again the sub sank, this time killing all eight crew members, including Horace.

Determined not to give up, the confederates recovered the sub and made a third attempt to attack the blockade. This time they were successful and Horace’s invention went down in history for being the first sub to bring down an enemy ship. Unfortunately for the crew, the sub still wasn’t safe and it sank shortly after the attack, without even being struck, and all nine crew members died.

This time, the Hunley was allowed to stay underwater. Lost for 132 years, the sub was eventually discovered just outside of Charleston Harbor in the middle of the Atlantic.

Li Si

You may have heard the rumors that Dr. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin was killed by his own invention, the guillotine, but as it turns out, he not only died from natural causes, he didn’t even invent the guillotine. He simply served on a panel that had set out to develop a more humane way to execute criminals. Guillotin suggested a simple device that would behead the victim quickly and painlessly, paving the way for the invention paving his namesake.

On the opposite side of the spectrum though, was Li Si, a Prime Minister who served under the first emperor of China. Li Si wrote many of the state’s policies and invented one of its most cruel execution methods, The Five Pains. This torture method involved cutting off the victim’s nose, then one of his hands, then one of his feet, then his manhood, and finally, the man would be cut in half at the waist. He would then be left to suffer until he finally bled to death.

After the first emperor passed on, his son took over and Li Si faithfully served him, until he died. Li Si knew he would have lost position as Prime Minister, so he manipulated the emperor’s chosen successor into killing himself. Unfortunately for Li Si, his accomplice in the act quickly turned on him and had him charged with treason. Li Si was executed using his own devious method, The Five Pains.

John Godfrey Parry-Thomas

Both a race-car driver and an engineer, John Godfrey Parry-Thomas was in a unique position to attempt to beat the land speed record. He was quite the talented engineer and he was able to rebuild a car to be powered by a Liberty V-12 aero-engine. He also added a number of his own modifications, including his own piston designs and chains attaching the wheels directly to the engine. By the time he was done, he had the first car ever dedicated exclusively to beating the land speed record, rather than just racing in the auto circuit.

His car, Babs, was a success. On April 27, 1926, John beat the existing land speed record. The next day, he came back to break his own record, locking in an impressive 170 mph speed. A year later, the previous record holder reclaimed the record, so John set out to beat him again.

Babs was a fast car, but it wasn’t the safest design. For one thing, the high engine cover required the driver to lean to one side to be able to see. For another, the external chains could easily get caught on something or, if broken, they could fly off in any direction. Unfortunately for John, the later problem occurred when the car was going 170 mph. Because John’s head was tilted off to the same side, the chain ended up smacking him in the head, killing him instantly. John went down in history not as a one-time land speed record holder or a talented engineer, but as the first driver to be killed in pursuit of the land speed record.

Aurel Vlaicu

Aurel started his career working in a Romanian car factory, but the engineer’s true passion was flight. In 1909, he built his first glider and a year later, he flew his first invention, the Vlaicu I airplane. He continued to work on the design and he and his Vlaicu II model won awards for precise landing, projectile throwing and tight flying in the Aspern Air Show in Vienna.

While working on his newest development, the Vlaicu III, Aurel took a trip to Transylvania in his aged second-generation plane. While he was flying over the Carpathian Mountains, the plane lost its wing and Aurel died in the crash.

After his death, Aurel’s friends completed the Vlaicu III, but though it was taken on a few short test runs, no one could extensively test the plane’s capabilities because Aurel’s control system was too strange for anyone else to figure out all the way. Eventually, the Nazi’s seized the plane during their occupation of Budapest and it was lost at some point during the war.

Romania was proud of their native notable aviation engineer though and the Bucharest airport, the second busiest in the country, is now named after him.

Sources: The Atlantic, Discovery, Wikipedia #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6

Unforeseen Circumstances

Miss Cellania — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 19:16:31 +0000

P.Z. Myers spotted this notice somewhere. The irony speaks for itself. Link -via Boing Boing

Fire Hydrant Blocked … by Parking Authority Van!

Alex — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:03:10 +0000

When a fire truck responded to an emergency call in Philadelphia, firemen found that access to a fire hydrant was blocked by … the Philadelphia Parking Authority van!

The visibly perturbed firefighters politely asked the PPA agent — who sprinted back to her vehicle with the quickness once she realized how terrible she was about to look — to move the van, to which she responded something along the lines of, "I was only there for a second, I’ll move it right away!" Strange, I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before.

Oh, the irony! Link (Photo: Drew Lazor) – via Reddit

Top 10 Ironic Ads From History

Jill Harness — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:46:12 +0000

Consumerist has a great list article with 10 ads you’d never see today. In it, you’ll learn how the World Trade Centers could have been saved by asbestos, why you should wrap your children in cellophane and why doctors love Camel cigarettes. Hilarity ensues.

Link

Words That Changed Their Meanings

Alex — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:20:27 +0000

The following is an article from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards By most estimates, the English language includes about one million words, yet native speakers regularly use only about 5,000. And they don't always get the ones they do use correct. Like all languages, English is constantly changing - new words are added, old words are phased out, and new word combinations are formed all the time. But the following examples of language changes cause trouble for people who like to use their words correctly because these words and phrases have pretty much lost their original meanings.

Beg The Question

If an event or happening raises a question for someone it's almost certain he or she will say, "This begs the question ..." But it doesn't. Begging the question is a verbal trick speakers use to avoid a question, not bring one up. The original definition of begging the question meant to assume that what is being questioned had already been proven to be true, so the answer sidestepped the thing in question. Say you were asked a question that just required a simple yes or no answer. But instead of saying yes, you answer with a statement that assumes the thing in question is already true. That's begging the question. For example, if the question is, "Senator, will this new crime bill be effective?" and he or she answers with a statement that doesn't answer it - "I've been fighting crime my entire career, and this crime bill is the latest example of that" - then the speaker has begged the question. It's a common practice in formal debate, and it's especially prevalent in politics. In the example above, the speaker is acting as though the crime bill is definitely effective, even though he or she never answered the basic question with a yes or no. Assuming the question is true is not evidence that it is. From that, beg the question evolved in the language to mean that the statement invites another obvious question. Anytime you run verbal circles around the question without answering it can be called begging the question in this sense (although strict grammarians frown upon it; they like to keep the original meaning).

Decimate

It's hard to believe that such a simple word hides such a horrific history. The original definition of "decimate" was "to kill one in ten." The brutal practice was used by the Roman army beginning around the 5th century B.C. and was implemented as a way to inspire fear and loyalty. Lots were drawn, and one out of every 10 soldiers would be killed - by their own comrades. If one member of a squad acted up, anybody could pay the ultimate price. Captured armies often fell victim to this practice as well. Today, "decimate" has lost that meaning, but some grammarians still like to preserve it ... at least in the sense of "to reduce by 10 percent." The "dec" prefix means "ten" - it's the same Latin root that gives us decade, for example. So to use "decimate" to mean just "destroy" contradicts the meaning of that prefix. (Note: Language snobs really get up in arms when someone says "totally decimate." Totally reduce by ten? We don't get it, either.)

Could Care Less

This is an easy mistake to make. The correct phrase, of course, is "couldn't care less" - as in, "I don't care at all, so it wouldn't be possible for me to care any less about this." But over the years, that's morphed into a new phrase (with the same meaning), and even though the Harper Dictionary of Contemporary Usage criticized the change in 1975, saying it was "an ignorant debasement of language," "could care less" seems to be around to stay. Language historian say "couldn't care less" was originally a British phrase that became popular in the Untied States in the 1950s. "Could care less" appeared about a decade later. No one knows exactly why the incorrect form came into being, since it doesn't make sense. But the phrase has stuck, and a lot of grammarians care very much that it's not being used correctly. (Regular people, of course, couldn't care less.)

Card Sharp

No, that's not a misspelling. Sure it sounds weird to the ear, but people who know the term's history and meaning prefer the original. "Card sharp" first appeared in the 1880s and meant a card player who tricked or scammed others. "Card shark" appeared much later, in the 1940s. Many people assume that the mix-up simply comes from speakers who either thought "shark" sounded better or misheard the word originally. But that may not be the case. Linguists have traced the history of both "sharp" and "shark" to their original usages, and though it doesn't appear that either word derived from the other, there are a lot of similarities in meaning. "Shark" comes from a 17th-century German word schurke, which meant "someone who cheats." "Sharping" came about around the same time and meant "swindling or cheating." The words "loan shark" and "sharp practice" come from these words as well. So technically, "card shark" could be correct. But because "card sharp" appeared first, many linguists want to preserve it. Whether they'll succeed is anyone's guess, but it's a sharp point of contention for many.

Spit and Image

If you think you're the spitting image of your parents, you're forgiven. People have been messing this one up for decades. "Spit and image" was the original term, used from about 1825 on. The Oxford English Dictionary defined it as "the very spit of, the exact image, likeness, or counterpart of." "Spitting image" came about some 80 years later and was followed by a few other variations, including "spitten image" and "splitting image" (neither of which really caught on). In this case, "spitting image" has overtaken the use of "spit and image" for most English speakers. But when you're spitting out this phrase, take a moment to remember its original use and think about the image you're trying to project.

Ironic

Few words cause as much confusion or are used incorrectly as often as "ironic." Not that it's hard to understand why - the definition is not simple: "a pretense of ignorance and of willingness to learn from another assumed in order to make the other's false conceptions conspicuous by adroit questioning ... the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning." What? In 1996, Alanis Morissette wrote an entire song titled "Ironic," which consistently used the word incorrectly. And even the people who are supposed to know what it means get it wrong. The American Heritage Dictionary gave the word "irony" to its distinguished panel of experts (the ones who help ensure the accuracy of all the words the dictionary defines) and asked them if either of the following sentences used the word correctly:

1. "In 1969, Susie moved from Ithaca to California, where she met her husband-to-be, who, ironically, also came from upstate New York." Seventy-eight percent of the panel's members agreed that this was an incorrect use of the word. 2. "Ironically, even as the government was fulminating against American policy, American jeans and videocassettes were the hottest items in the stalls of the market." In contrast, though, 73 percent agreed that this sentence used it properly.

How "ironic" came to be defined as "coincidence" is anybody's guess, but for our purposes, we like to refer to the following quote from the 1994 film Reality Bites. When Ethan Hawke's character is asked to define "ironic," he says, "It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite of the literal meaning." Thank goodness for Hollywood.

The article above was reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Golden Plunger Awards Forget the Oscars and the Grammys - the awards committee at the Bathroom Readers' Institute is handing out its own honors... the highly coveted Golden Plungers. We've scoured the globe to bring you the people, places, and events most worthy of throne-room recognition. Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!

A Slight Technical Hitch

Queuebot — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 07:56:13 +0000

[YouTube - Link]

See if you can spot what’s wrong with this video of a company advertising their skills in … video production!
The irony of it sort of reminds me of this photo.

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Jake.