You know how the upcoming movie Conan the Barbarian can be improved, fellow Team Coco fans?

Replace the hunk Jason Momoa (he's just too good lookin') with another Conan, the one with um, more refined comedic potential.

NextMovie collaborated with Old Red Jalopy to come up with this gem, Conan O'Brien the Barbarian poster: Link - Thanks Andie!

And it was quite good! Commencement addresses tend to range from tedious to unbearable, but O’Brien’s speech before the graduates of Dartmouth College was both funny and practical:

Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating class at Harvard. I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left to say. But then 2010 came. And now I’m here, three thousand miles from my home, because I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I’d like to share it with you. In 2000, I told graduates “Don’t be afraid to fail.” Well now I’m here to tell you that, though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it. Nietzsche famously said “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you. Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting. What Nietzsche should have said is “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.”

Video Link and Transcript -via Ace of Spades HQ

It may be long (nearly 50 minutes), but Conan’s recent appearance at Google was full of insight, hilarity, and general Conan-ness.

At one point (around 23:30) he leaves the stage to let an audience member touch his hair. This is shortly after his "impression of rapper Ludacris" after being asked about Jay Leno.

The program was hosted by Vic Gundotra, VP of Engineering, who allowed Conan to poke fun at him, Google, and anything else.

– via blogs

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by nmiller.

This video is circulating the Internet today. It shows an unnamed artist making a portrait of Conan O’Brien out of cheetos. Allegedly, he (she?) used about 2,000 cheetos from 50 bags for the work, but the provenance on that information is iffy.

via The Agitator

UPDATE: In the comments, mikerbaker provides a link that informs us that this was created by artist Jason Baalman, and that it measures 5 by 4 feet. Thanks, Mike!

Apple Daily in Hong Kong produced a Sims-style video to explain the Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien situation to Chinese television viewers. Portraying them as comic book heroes is sheer genius! You don’t have to understand the language to follow along. -via Cynical-C

I love a politician who has a sense of humor and can poke fun at himself — like Robert Reich, U.S. Secretary of Labor under the Clinton Administration.  Here he is on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien as a hard-boiled street cop eager to bite crime in the shins.

Via Bits & Pieces

Comedian Louis CK was on Late Night with Conan O’Brien explaining how amazing everything is, and yet nobody is happy. You’d think with all this technology and instant gratification, we would at least realize how lucky we are.

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by JKirchartz.

Strange de Jim has been archiving zingers delivered by late night TV show hosts for a decade. It’s probably the most complete archive of such one-liners – from 1999 through this past Friday.

Here’s an example from this past week:

The Daily Show titled the Rod Blagojevich story “Scumdog Million-Hairs,” and a White House story “Big ‘Bama’s House.”

Dave Letterman: “This woman had eight babies. Of course, now she’s moving to a much bigger shoe.” “Benjamin Button starts out old and ends up as a baby who’s adopted by Angelina Jolie.”

Jay Leno: “It’s Chinese New Year. Their resolution is to get the lead out.”

Jimmy Kimmel: “It’s Oprah’s birthday, and I feel sorry for Steadman. What do you give a woman who has her own President? You can’t just give her a mix tape.”

Conan O’Brien: “Viagra profits are down 90%. The president of the company said, ‘Honest, this has never happened before.

Link

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by strange.