Post-Apocalyptic Commuter Vehicle

is it a monkey?

some sort of caliper.

cissors!
:o)

and an ice picker!
sorry, i forgot to add it in my first comment...

tweazers

A sheep torture device. To make them tell the truth where they are hiding their mother-ship from where they will launch an invasion on earth. Part of their plan has already succeed in New Zealand. Stop their invasion!!!

Circumcision instrument from the dark ages!!

Men - think yourselves lucky this little baby isnt being used today....

Apple.

A fanny flaps machine for stopping them sticking together when you have sat in toffee.

It's an Iron Anteater!

It's a lockpicking tool

This is a tool that can be used to carry your pet rabbits. The shape of the tool, on the right, is studied so that the body and the head of your lovely rabbits fits perfectly. The ears of the rabbit is then passed through the metal piece, and blocked by the clip on the left. The two handles on the side make it easy to carry your beloved pet anywhere !

A surgical device for retracting skin?

It's a caliper for measuring the dimensions of a skull.

Is it an instrument of torture?

It's a double ended jar/ bottle opener!

A robot stethoscope.

It's a pair of Forceps for delivering babies.

blacksmith tongs

scissors

It looks like a tool used in glass blowing to make different shapes in the glass.

Purple Nurple deliverer. Use this tool for maximum effect!

some sort of 19th century ob/gyn device

forceps for delivering babies

Sheep shearing tool

Damn! Zandt is right.

To me...and this is just a guess...but to me, it looks like the skull from a turn-of-the-century steampunk chicken... BEEP-BEEP-BEECAWWWK!!!

Medieval torture devise used by members of the Spanish Inquistion to extort the truth. I believe these were heated over a coal fire prior to use.

Wolverine Egg Harvester

It's my guess that this is a key to one of those marvelous chastity belts, designed to keep women from having as much fun as their significan others.

It's a bloodless castrator. To castrate bulls without cutting the skin, you clamp this around the scrotum to crush the vas deferens within it.

What? No banana guesses? What is this world coming to?

To add to Clyde:
It is forceps WITH the tool for the episiotomy all in one.

This device resembles a locksmith's 'raking' tool for opening locks, but is in all actuality a mezzobrawnic cliffer, or a 'cliffee' in the parlance hedge wizards. It is used in conjuction with a forthee and vigaluck to renovate crop circlers. Notice the worn appearence and slight deformation of the after spengle. Obviously this once servicable tool has been hard used by a careless evoker.

Did you know that Suzanne Somers actually stole the idea for the thigh master from the Victorian era? Yep, that right folks, this is “The Genuine Thigh Master” and it comes with a double whammy of the butt clincher as noted on the reverse side of the item in question. It tightens everything a Victorian girl needed and yeah, they were tough, no fancy colours or padding required :)

is it a banana stapler? :D

it lookis like a simple key with it's own clip so you can attack it to your pants.

Its a lockpicking gun, push it into the lock, pull the trigger it shoots the tumblers up into the top and youtwist the gun to turn the barrel and open the lock.

Looks like a tool used for shoeing horses, the bit on the right is used to grip and loosen the shoe and the back pries and separates it from the hoof. I believe I saw Mike Roe use one of these on an episode of Dirty Jobs, Tuesdays 9pm ETS on the Discovery Channel.

well im still saying monkey, or a monkey with a banana

It's a really early version of the jaws of life?

A Klingon speculum.

An extremely painful eyelash extender.

AK-47 (beta version)

I would venture it is for antiquated dentistry -- like dental pliers (man, no wonder they got stewed before going to the dentist back when)

ancient castration thingie.

Marital aid

A hair pleater.

Its an artifact for handling coal or hot objects (metal?)

Deuxy-Glucosal Ribosome

It's a glove stretcher,small end for the fingers-large end for the body of the glove.

If only they had it at the O.J. trial....

A Key

Looks like an old-timey speculum to me (used for giving women gynocological exams).

Oooh, this is a good one. Over 50 guesses and nothing even came close. :) As usual, the answer comes tomorrow, guys - you've still got time.

Is it a mole-trap of some sort?

a device for tuning musical instruments

a tool for dissecting whales

This is a tool to build yourself the MacFly 2015' shoes.

a gynecological tool?
sorry but maybe it is.

Some sort of German Torture Device

It's the innards from the head of a mechanical chicken or rooster.

Early Proctology tool.The smaller secondary opening on the large jaws was to clip it to the saddle horn where it was readily at hand for the door to door frontier proctologist.

It's a device to hold your pet kiwi while you are eating dinner. The rounded clamp part fits exactly around his little body and the skinny end clamps to the table.

They may be lacking in the limb department and this may sound cruel, but after you've had one pecking at your ankles during an otherwise fantastic meal, you won't feel that bad for them when you have them attached to your dinner table. (Exhibit A: http://bp3.blogger.com/_3hp8bbBoBKc/RkSpZraP3gI/AAAAAAAAAGE/CMzQ1Yi6UQ0/s320/kiwi.bmp [which is not a spoiler in any way...just bad photoshop])

baaah, Beth just replaced "pet rabbit" with "pet wiki" from my comment :p
But okay, he (she ?)'s got a real photoshop talent :)