Slims Face, Scares Children

Neatoramanauts, listen up! You too can have attractive, slimmer face without plastic surgery, thanks to this Japanese (who else?) invention.

Steve Levenstein of InventorSpot told us the secret beauty technique of the Face Slimmer:

The pretty pink silicone rubber device looks a lot like those plastic fake lips kids wear on Halloween – all the more reason to keep it hidden away from the little rascals. The main difference is, you don't say “Trick or Treat”: instead it's “A I U E O”, the basic vowel sounds of the Japanese language according to the sales copy though it's likely English-speakers can get similar results (if any) with “Ay Ee Eye Oh You & sometimes Why”.

That's basically all there is to it – pop the Face Slimmer into your pie-hole and emote vowel sounds for three minutes. Supposedly by doing so, you exercise every part of your face and activate muscles of the face and neck that don't normally get used.

Hah! (Or should I say Ah I U E O instead?) Link


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"A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y, and sometimes W".

Why do people keep leaving off the "W"? That's the funniest part. (And it's necessary for correctness, too, because of such English-language words as "crwth" and "cwm".)
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