Security Lock for Your Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream

It's DEFCON 1 at the NeatoPlex whenever someone accesses my Chunky Monkey without prior written authorization, so this couldn't have come at a better time: the "Euphori-Lock" device that secures your pint of ice cream.

So there's no uncertainty, the ice cream lock says: I'm terribly sorry, but there is no "u" in "my pint".


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I used to own a car that was particularly vulnerable to theft. Knock off the plastic around the steering column. Push a button, and the engine would start.

So for years, after I parked, I turned the wheel all the way in one direction. Then I attached a heavy chain between a center spoke of the steering wheel and the brake pedal. That way, if someone stole the car, he could only drive it in a circle.

He could still steal the car by cutting the chain, but it would be easier to just steal a different car. The ice cream pint lock does the same thing. It encourages a thief to steal a different pint of ice cream, which is hopefully a decoy rigged with explosives.
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