Going to Prison? Hire a Consultant Right Away

Are you thinking of committing a few felonies? Plan ahead and hire a prison consultant so that you'll be ready on the first day that you step inside. There's a thriving industry of people who prepare recently-convicted felons for the incarcerated life. Some are former prison guards or wardens. Others, however, are ex-cons offering practical advice learned the hard way. For these consultants, lengthy criminal histories are a major selling point:

"Look at my résumé, I’ve got 10 years: high-security, medium, low," said Mr. Levine, 50, who was in jail until 2007 on narcotics trafficking, counterfeiting and weapons charges. "These guys go in for a year and a half, maybe two. I’ve got more experience than all the rest of these guys combined." [...]

Mr. Levine said he thought the competition would thin out over time because the competitors lack marketing smarts. Besides, he argued, he has the criminal CV to back up the marketing.

If they handed out diplomas for prison savvy, he said, "These guys have maybe an associate degree. I have like a Ph.D. or above."


So shop around, because not every ex-con turned prison consultant is offering an honest deal:

Some prison consultants say that others are so lacking in expertise that their businesses are practically criminal enterprises.


Link -via Marginal Revolution | Photo: Flickr user pgbailey

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Best movie on this is Big Stan........ I love when he walks in to a tattoo parlor and asks if they can recommend a tattoo to make his rectum less attractive (c:

Brilliant!!!
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