Tastes Like TV

The following article is from the book Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Tunes Into TV.

When TV characters cook, the results are often disgusting.


Drink: Flaming Homer

Show: The Simpsons (1991)

Origin: Homer is bored at home one night -forced to watch his in-law's vacation slides- and he doesn't have any beer, so he makes a cocktail from whatever he can find. He pours the leftover bits from several liquor bottles into a blender, along with the accidental addition of "Krusty's Non-Narkotic Kough Syrup." Homer thinks it tastes okay... but it's even better after it's lit afire by a stray cigarette ash. "I don't know the scientific explanation, but fire made it good," Homer says when he recreates the "Flaming Homer" at Moe's Tavern. Moe then steals the idea and starts serving the drink (for $6.95) and renames it "The Flaming Moe."




Food: Chocolate Salty Balls

Show: South Park (1998)

Origin: When the Sundance Film Festival comes to town, the soul-singing school cafeteria cook Chef (voice of Isaac Hayes) opens a stand to sell cookies to tourists. His most popular item: His "Chocolate Salty Balls." It's a blatant double entendre, and Chef even sings a song about them: "Hey, everybody, have you seen my balls? They're big and salty and brown!" The song (which reached #1 in England) gives the recipe: cinnamon, egg whites, melted butter, flour, unsweetened chocolate, brandy, vanilla, and sugar. (Curiously, it doesn't call for salt.)


(Image credit: Garnished Adventures)

Drink: Thankstini

Show: How I Met Your Mother (2005)

Origins: This cocktail, a martini, invented by booze-swilling playboy Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), combines Thanksgiving food with booze. It's made from two ounces of potato vodka, four ounces of cranberry juice ...and a bouillon cube for that poultry flavor. Barney remarks that it "tastes just like a turkey dinner."




Food: Skip's Scramble

Show: Arrested Development (2005)

Origin: On one episode, characters eat Sunday brunch at a bistro called Skip's Church (the joke being that people "skip church" to go there). A brief shot of the menu shows standard brunch fare, along with an omelet called Skips Scramble. Its description: "Too many choices? Menu too big to swallow? Let Skip serve you up a scram that has something from every dish on the menu. It will knock you into next week!" Price: $47.95. The dish includes eggs, ten slices of bacon, ham, peppers, onion, sausage, and a chocolate glazed doughnut. (The menu also features the disclaimer that Skip's Church is "not responsible for medical bills of deformities resulting from the digestion of its menu items.")



(YouTube link)

Drink: Killer Shrew

Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1992)

Origin: On an episode of the movie send-up show revolving around the 1959 movie called Killer Shrews, Joel (Joel Hodgson) and his robot companions devise the "Killer Shrew," a cocktail that's non-alcoholic but not very healthy. The recipe: combine chocolate chip ice cream, Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries, Peanut M&Ms, pancake syrup, Circus Peanuts, Mr. Pibb, Marshmallow Peeps, Sweet Tarts candies, vanilla cake frosting, and Good & Plenty in a blender. Then, "pour into a plastic tulip vase" and throw in a wind-up toy shrew. Joel took a sip... and fell into a diabetic coma from all the sugar. (Note: If you throw in wax lips, it's no longer a Killer Shrew; it's a "Vulcan Mind Probe.")


(Image source: iCarly)

Food: Spaghetti Tacos

Show: iCarly (2009)

Origin: One on episode of the popular nickelodeon comedy, Spencer (Jerry Trainor) had no idea what to make for dinner. So he invented spaghetti tacos, hard taco shells filled with noodles and marinara sauce. Since that episode aired in 2009, the food became a cultural phenomenon both on the show and in real life. In one episode, characters oversee a spaghetti-taco-making contest on a cable show, and in the real world, spaghetti tacos were the most-requested food item at American school cafeterias in 2010. "Spaghetti tacos made it possible to eat spaghetti in your car," said Syracuse University pop-culture professor Robert Thompson in The New York Times. "It's an important technological development."



(YouTube link)

Drink: Bloody Awful

Show: Top Gear (2008)

Origin: This British show about cars and other manly stuff is co-hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, who came up with this recipe for what he calls "a man's V8 smoothie." And that's not V8, as in the vegetable drink- that's V8, as in the high-powered car engine, which he used to power a blender. Into that blender were placed a few pounds of raw beef with the bones, a dozen hot chilies, a half gallon of Bovril (a meat flavoring agent and tenderizer), two cups of Tabasco sauce...and a brick.




Food: Shepherd's Pie Trifle

Show: Friends (1999)

Origin: In a Thanksgiving episode, chef Monica (Courtney Cox) makes a holiday feast, while Rachel (Jennifer Anniston) volunteers to make a trifle for dessert. The British dish is traditionally made up of cake, custard, and fruit, but when the pages of Rachel's cookbook get stuck together, she inadvertently mixes in the ingredients of shepherd's pie with the trifle, making for a disgusting crossbreed of the two. Joey (Matt LeBlanc), who has a huge appetite, doesn't think there's anything wrong with the dish, and eats the whole thing himself. "What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good." Ross disagrees, saying that it "tastes like feet."

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The article above was reprinted with permission from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Tunes Into TV.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts.

If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!




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