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Name That Weird Invention!



It's time for the Name That Weird Invention! contest. Steven M. Johnson comes up with all sorts of wacky inventions in his weekly Museum of Possibilities posts. Can you come up with a name for this one? I can't even figure out what it's for! The commenter suggesting the funniest and wittiest name will win a free T-shirt from the NeatoShop.

Contest rules: one entry per comment, though you can enter as many as you like. Please make a selection of the T-shirt you want (may we suggest the Science T-shirt, Funny T-shirt, and Artist-designed T-shirt categories?) alongside your entry. If you don't select a shirt, then you forfeit the prize. Good luck!

Update: We have winners! A difficult selection, with many entries and many good entries, and ultimately Foosnark rose to the top with arBra, a clever palindrome. old_joe came in second with the Dance Enhancer. Both win t-shirts from the NeatoShop!

I know mama always said that if you don't have anything nice to say, then you just shouldn't say anything, but I can't keep this to myself anymore.

This "Museum of Possibilities" crap has got to go. It's stupid and pointless beyond comprehension. Almost all the designs are unwieldy and pointless (except for that full-mouth tooth-brushing gizmo. I'll grant Mr. Johnson that one), and, failing either of those, just plain ugly. Who the hell wants boobs on her back?

In conclusion, please, please, please make it stop.
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I'm with David, who the hell would want to look like a fat cow with back tits?

that said I'll toss out the name "Baktitz" Pronounced "Bockteets"

I Heart Teuthology
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Whateverrrrrrrrr. How hard is it to scroll past the bits you don't want to read about? My guess is a lot less hard than leaving a comment on one of them. I think the guy thinks beyond our time! Okay, maybe nobody wants Baktitz NOW, but think of all the ridiculous-ocity that we as a people HAVE worn around for what we deem as aesthetically delightful. A hundred years ago, say somebody would have drawn a picture of a kid with a metal bar through his eyebrow. "Who would want THAT through their face?! What purpose does it serve?!"
In conclusion to this tirade, don't berate this fellow for coming up with things that this culture has deemed ridiculous. Creativity and imagination is lacking in a sad, hardcore way anymore.

Also, I think they should be called "The Ladyfriend's Back Massage Bribe Brassiere". Whooooaaaahhhh yeaaaahhhhh!
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Like Brandy C. said, if you don't like the blog, don't read it. Also, the ones that do leave suggestions (who obviously like the blog;) ) for "Name That Weird Invention" don't forget to select a t-shirt in case your suggestion is picked.
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I for one look forward to Mr. Johnson's whimsical and well thought out illustrations. I consider them "neat."

That said...

Cup Lifts

I <3 Robots - XL
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"The Back-Bra"! Mound those unattractive blobs of fat on your back into attractive, natural looking "back-boobs"!

You will be surprised at how much attention you will attract "coming AND going"!

"The Back-Bra" for your "back-boobs".
You'll love it!
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I am quite interested in figuring out why the first commenters are more often those who see no value in my work, and want it removed from Neatorama. Early risers find fault, yet late risers arise (out of bed) to defend my work.
As a mild defense of this post, I would note that historically both men and women have adopted truly strange fashions that emphasized or exaggerated different parts of their anatomy. This post, which I would have called Decoy Mistress if I were allowed to submit my own name for it , is admittedly pretty strange!
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"Slow-dance enhancement device" (at high school dances and proms, I always wished they were on the back). Thankyuhverymuch. gimme a "Request Denied" in XXL :-)
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I would suggest the "Cold Shoulder Boulder Holder" for those nights when your wife turns a cold shoulder, there's still something there for you to play with. If I win, I would like the t-shirt "I do what the voices in my wife's head tell me" in XL
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@Another David

Whatever one's opinion may be on these "Museum of Possibilities" segments. I am sure that Neatorama looks at the amount of comments that these articles acquire as popularity feedback. These seem to get more comments than other items. Therefore, by leaving comments you are supporting its existence.
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The Over the Shoulder, Two Extra Boulder Holder Counterweight System for Well-Endowed Women. Relieves back stress for those women who would rather not undergo breast reduction surgery.
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The Over the Shoulder, Two Extra Boulder Holder Counterweight System for Well-Endowed Women. Relieves back stress for those women who would rather not undergo breast reduction surgery. Counterweights sold separately.
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Oh, oh shoot. Shoot, I forgot about the t-shirt thing amidst all my finger wagging. JUST EVER SO IN CASE, can this be part two of my first comment: R-2 needs love-2 in a lady medium?
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All you naysayers, I think its an awesome invention.
First of all, as a girl - yeah, that would be awesome actually. Leaning on the cold hard plastic seat on the bus would be a breeze. Balance issues resolved - heck year. Possible food/drink storage - double heck yeah.

And if you are a guy and you cannot appreciate my walking away from your while wearing this thing, then I don't even know what to say to you. A butt AND boobs at the same time? come on.
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the husba-sitter. Keep your husband close by occupied and out of trouble while you do the dishes or finish up your last minute Christmas shopping! Limited time offer in DDD size for those husbands with shorter attention spans.
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