Papervore Coffee Table

The Papervore is a truly epic paper shredder that devours the junk mail piles that accumulate on any coffee table. It's visually appealing, and damn, it looks fun.
This coffee, called The Papervore, table has a hand-cranked paper shredder system that incorporates the shredded bits of your bills and statements into the actual design of the piece of furniture. It’s got a “contact for pricing” remark on Pigeontail’s website, which can only mean that this thing is way too expensive for a lot of folks. via Doobybrain

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First strange thought that popped into my mind was not to do one's taxes on this table if you have a household with kids. Get up to go get or do something and come back and find little timmy winding the handle and shredding your tax forms.
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I guess if you sit on orange crates, this would blend right in.

Get it, "blend"? Too subtle?

How about "Put this in your living room if you haven't a shred of dignity."

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