A Corporate E-mail Hypothesis

Hypothesis: A person’s standing at a firm is inversely proportional to the manner in which he/she types his/her internal e-mails and the amount of words employed.

For instance, here’s an e-mail the average employee might write to a cohort:
Good morning gentlemen,

After reading over your proposal for a new recurring conference call on Monday mornings with IT, I can assure you that our team is ready to give the green light so long as you loop back with Carl Tomkins.
Many thanks in advance,
EM (Every Man)

And now, the same e-mail written by a Vice President:
Gentlemen,
Re: new recurring conference call on Monday mornings with IT—our team is ready to give the green light so long as you loop back with Tomkins.
Thanks,
VP

And the same e-mail by a Senior Vice President:
Re: conference call with IT—ready to give green light so long as you loop back with Tomkins.
SVP

And, lastly, the Managing Director’s e-mail:
fine Just be sure to loop back with Carl

Note how the Managing Director’s sentences have no regard for punctuation, do away with all salutations completely and rarely take up more than one line.

Am I right? Do other Neatoramanauts have similar experiences that prove my hypothesis correct?

Newest 5
Newest 5 Comments

Anyone who starts an email with "Good morning gentlemen" Is clearly out of touch and unlikely to have much of value to say.
That aside, I deal with CEO's a fair bit and the final example is very representative of their style of communication. It's a style I prefer but not when they miss the point. For example: "sounds good" is not a good answer to "we could approach it via Method A or via Method B, let me know which you would prefer"
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Efficiency in any organization is inversely proportional to the position of the employee.

The illusion of efficiency is, however, directly proportional to the position of the employee.
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This is pretty accurate, although you forgot the part where they attach a 20MB PowerPoint file that explains what they are talking about in their punctuation free sentence.

i.e.

fine Just be sure to loop back with Carl - see attachment
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