Lo! The Internet Turns 40

UCLA’s Leonard Kleinrock remembers sending the first message over the Internet 40 years ago this week; the first word sent host-to-host was supposed to be “login,” but the receiving computer crashed after the first two letters.  So the Internet’s first word was “Lo!”  Soon came the first denial of service, and the first spammer.

In honor of the occasion, Asylum’s Tommy Christopher compiled the Top Ten Signs the Internet Has Turned 40.

10. Hangs around at clubs using cheesy, outdated pickup lines like, “All your base are belong to me, baby!”

9. Starts referring to YouTube videos as “talkies.”

8. Still uses MySpace, and thinks of Heather_69 as a “friend.”

7. Stays in the left lane of the information superhighway with its blinker on.

6. Google mysteriously changes its name to “Google, She Wrote.” 

5. Star Wars Kid now on his second divorce after nailing his secretary.

4. Starts believing that Al Gore invented it.

3. Inexplicably purchases a Chrysler Sebring convertible.

2. Swears it goes to Pornhub.com for the articles.

1. Has to call its kids for tips on how to use itself.

I’ll add a bonus one:  Uses the file menu to shut itself down…all seven open windows of itself.  Any more ideas out there?