You Can’t Please Everyone

By Alex in Blogs & Internet, Film on May 7, 2009 at 2:20 am

Chris of Cynical-C blog has a nifty series called You Can’t Please Everyone. In it, he collects one-star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music, and literature.

Take, for instance, The Sound of Music starring Julie Andrews. The movie won 5 Academy Awards, including Best Picture in 1965. Adjusted for inflation, it made more than $1 billion in earnings since it was made … yet, even it can’t please everyone:

This movie was made in the sixties, we live in the 21st century, GET OVER IT!

I loved it when I was ten, but I think I’ve out grown it

When I see garbage like this, I finally understand what is wrong with the world. I watched this movie on a dare and was absolutely mortified!!!!! I would have given it negative stars if I could have. As an animal lover and vegetarian, I was especially offended!!! Anyone who is a fan of this series should run, not walk to the nearest Psychiatrist. You are in desperate need of having your head examined. And we as a society wonder why violence and seriel killers have become a part of daily life. Well, ladies and gentlemen I present to you Exhibit A…….

This movie should be called the Sound of Mucus. The only redeeming quality is that the family has to run from nazis.

See more of Cynical-C’s You Can’t Please Everyone series: Link – via kottke

Tags: Amazon, Cynical-C, one-star review, The Sound of Music

Neat stuff from the NeatoShop:

zav
May 7th, 2009 at 2:33 am
The Sound of Music was great. Until everyone started singing. It was ruination. What could have had been so perfect (dramatic family escape from horrible Nazis) was shattered. I have been scarred from that experience since my youth.
rika
May 7th, 2009 at 2:50 am
i love it. more for the music than for the story.
it’s the music of my childhood…
Babycakes
May 7th, 2009 at 3:34 am
I’ve yet to even watch the movie… I’m scared to know there’s a MUSICAL about a family escaping NAZIS… come on! A musical??? What were they thinking? I’ll eventually watch it… some day.
seefish3
May 7th, 2009 at 4:03 am
I love the “that movie’s old, so it sucks” mentality.
I work with a guy whose reponse to photos of past movie stars is always “Isn’t she, like, eighty years old by now?” He slavishly watches American Idol and gossips about it, so there you go…
Evilbeagle
May 7th, 2009 at 6:41 am
I’m not a fan of “The Sound of Music”. It’s just not my type of movie. But it’s iconic and you can’t just ignore that based on personal opinion. It may not be my cup of tea, but a lot of people enjoy it and it is a classic because it has struck a chord with people and has done so over decades. I haven’t watched it in ages, but I am wondering what about it is offensive to the type of vegetarian that likes being offended? I may have to gain a whole new respect for this movie based on that alone.
Evilbeagle
May 7th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Cool site, though. I have a feeling I’ll be reading it for a while. It’s pure comedy.
ted
May 7th, 2009 at 7:24 am
It’s trendy to be an iconoclast. The Sound of Music is an easy target, but why are we re-hashing all these old musicals, and re-shooting all those old films?

Because it’s easier than coming up with your own original ideas. In fact, it’s easier to sit on your butt and complain about other people’s successes.

As an animal lover and a vegetarian? I guess just about anything will offend them.

Welcome to the 21st century.
pax
May 7th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Uh-oh. I think you forgot to put a little warning right there, Alex. This post should include:

“WARNING: Do not read without anybody to stop you from throwing your PC to the ground.” or something…
GQ
May 7th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Some of those have to be fake. Look at the Spinal Tap reviews!
Also, that review of Citizen Kane is hilarious if you read it in the style of Brian Griffin reading out one of his inner-city students’ homework assignments.
Gail Pink
May 7th, 2009 at 8:39 am
That SOM “reviewer” probably hates the Beatles as well. Douche bag.
Gauldar
May 7th, 2009 at 8:50 am
“Words cannot describe my intense dislike for Jimi’s guitar “skills”. This guy is a HACK. All songs sound exactly the same, the drummer is weak, does the bassist even exist? Listen to some REAL music that actually requires talent- like Nickelback!”

Ahahahah….AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Evilbeagle
May 7th, 2009 at 9:35 am
I’ve been reading that site now most of the afternoon. It is truly unbelievable. With most of the reviews, it’s not even the fact that they don’t like the book or movie in question, but the reasons why. There was one person on one of the books complaining about the “big words”.

I agree that some of the reviews must be fake. At least hope so.
PT
May 7th, 2009 at 9:56 am
I went to a Catholic school for 8 years. The nuns trudged us to see TSOM every year. Imagine my delight when S.O.B. by Blake Edwards came out! (Julie gets a ‘lil nakie!!)
Frau
May 7th, 2009 at 10:00 am
With the title of the post – I had thought it was going to be about Neatorama.

That is a fantastic site. I have often read the negative one star reviews and had wondered about the people that post them. I just never thought of turning it into a web site.
There are some good book reviews as well. I once found an entire two page “war” back and forth over a one star review on a book.
“In fact, it’s easier to sit on your butt and complain about other people’s successes.” – Ted
Said Ted > http://www.neatorama.com/2009/04/27/the-story-of-baby-squirrel-and-the -wall/#comment-1689502
OddNumber
May 7th, 2009 at 11:03 am
@ Frau – I was thinking the same thing! Totally appropriate given some of the recent discussions on Neatorama.

I got bored reading all the comments about people complaining about the f bomb.
sadtomato
May 7th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
That’s funny, Ted, because I find that you are one of the worst complainers on Neatorama.

I can’t stop reading the funny reviews! Must do some work!!
Jack Ruttan
May 7th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“The Sound of Mucus” line was lifted from one of Christopher Plummer’s interviews. But now he’s mellowed out about it.
Kalel
May 7th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Are the complaints faked?

Let’s just say the shills are alive.
pax
May 7th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Just recently looked at the site. Man, the one-star reviews on good music happen to involve thinking Nickelback is such a great band.
Evilbeagle
May 8th, 2009 at 2:52 am
pax, not only do some of those reviews consider Nickleback musical genius, but did you see the one (I forget which album they were reviewing) where somone claimned that Britney had recorded the best pop album ever? It made my hair hurt to read that.
ted
May 8th, 2009 at 6:56 am
No, I am one of the best complainers on Neatorama, as I do it so well. Read some of the other comments at the squirrel video post. There were a few people who agreed with me. You should have chosen a better example.

I often give credit where credit is due. I have even complimented ONE kitten video. Don’t look so shocked.

After reading more into this site, I think these are facetious reviews. People are outdoing themselves to criticize The Sound of Music, Spinal Tap, etc… therefore, it’s all fake.
Ajan
May 8th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Times were different back then. You can’t judge a movie simply based by the present day audience.

Acc. to present day, if the movie was taken by hollywood and the people who were running away were some non-allies.. It would be a Big Hit
Dianne
May 9th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I have NEVER understood how anybody could love this movie. C-R-A-P-P-Y All those singing Catholics…rainbows, dew on roses…whiskers on kittens. The whole mess was overblown! Thank God there wasn’t a sequel. or was there?
ted
May 9th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Yeah, Dianne. It was called Schindler’s List.

Keep track of the comments with

Don't Miss: New Stuff | Bestsellers | The Cute Store
Funny T-Shirts

Need a gift? Get unforgettable gifts for:
Geeks | Pranksters | Kids | Hipsters | Shutterbugs

The latest from NeatoBambino: