A Disaster-Proof Bed

Quantum Sleeper

The Quantum Sleeper is a bed that converts into a bullet-proof, airtight shelter that is shielded from biochemical attacks with filtered ventilation and rebreathing equipment. Options include a toilet, a short-wave radio, and motion detectors.

Link via Gizmodo via Ace

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"So, how does one use the “toiletry system” while all scrunched up inside the bed?"

Wax lined bags and wet naps, I presume. The website is lacking a surprising amount of detail if they're looking for investors.
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It's quantum in the same way as scrodinger's cat was a victim of quantum effects. Is it alive due to radioactive decay? Is it dead? Same as your kid.. put it in that box and who the hell knows until you open your box and find he's quite happily alive masturbating furiously to thalodimide porn.
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The only protection this thing offers is protection of your wallet from money. There are more disclaimers on their website than a used car sales contract. From the looks of it, you should buy a second one to protect you from the first.

If the Quantum Sleeper is a rockin', don't come a knockin' or we'll activate our "defensive devices customized to the requests of the purchasers such as tear gas spray, robotic arms, or projectile weaponry." (tm)
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