Save the Planet, Drink Rats' Milk!

Heather Mills, former Beatle Paul McCartney's estranged wife claimed that 80% of global warming comes from livestock and deforestation. To save the planet, she has a pretty specific suggestion: drink rats' milk!

Ms Mills said that livestock created far more carbon emissions than transport, so we should go vegan - someone who eats no meat or dairy produce - or at least find something else to put in tea or coffee.

At Speakers Corner in Hyde Park, central London, she said: "There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don't we try drinking rats' milk and dogs' milk?"

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Did you hear Paul McCartney got his ex-wife a plane for christmas? He got her a ladyshave for the other leg.

What's the life expectancy of a rat going to be like as compared to a dairy cow? I can't help but think of the difficulty of rounding the little buggers up and attaching machinery to their teats, perhaps you should round them up with cats and round the cats up with dogs and milk the lot of them.
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As Holly said in Red Dwarf, the reason dog's milk lasts for ages is cos no bugger'll drink it. Ditto rat's milk.

There are a host of 6th form satire jokes to be made about HMM "milking" anything, I'm just too jaded to write them up here. Enough of this woman, she displeases me.

Guards!!
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Cow poo does cause a heck of a lot of methane emissions, but its really more of an untapped fuel than a problem. They use it as fuel in some "3rd world" countries.

As for going vegan, no thankyou I have my turkey prepping for thanksgiving.
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Rats? No! Vats! We need to be moving toward in vitro production of things like meat and milk and other animal products. With advances in tissue culture and stem cells, we should be able to raise milk-producing cells in culture and grow bacon in nice sandwich sized sheets. Fur can grow like astroturf in big fields. We just need to stop wasting all our great scientific minds on curing stupid diseases and redirect them to pay more attention to food and luxury consumer goods. Priorities, people.
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