NEATORAMA HOME | LITE/MOBILE VERSION | BEST OF NEATORAMA

What If Jack Bauer Was a Environment-Loving Lefty

By Alex in Movies & SciFi on Aug 30, 2007 at 8:49 pm


Daniel Chun, a writer for The Simpsons, found out that they’ve cast liberal activist, comedian and actress Janeane Garofalo on Fox’s hit (and conservative) show 24.

So he got to work imagining how the show would change to become more "environmentally friendly":

The terrorist shoots the driver in the face. He looks for another car. He spots a parked Prius–he smashes the window, gets in, and drives off. A beat later, a city bus rounds the corner. Jack Bauer is on board.

Int. Bus – CONTINUOUS

JACK BAUER
Follow that Prius! Can’t you drive any faster?

BUS DRIVER
If this is too slow for you, drive yourself.

JACK BAUER
And contribute eight thousand pounds of CO2 to the atmosphere? Then I’d be the worst terrorist of all. Ever think about that, [LOOKS AT NAMETAG] Doug?

Jack sees the Prius getting away. He holds his gun to the bus driver’s neck.

JACK BAUER (CONT’D)
Drive faster, dammit! I’m a federal agent.

BUS DRIVER
Okay, okay!

The bus driver guns the gas pedal. We see the speedometer hit 55, then climb towards 65.

JACK BAUER
Whoa, whoa! Does fuel efficiency mean nothing to you? Fifty-five is fast enough. Geez.

The bus slows down to 55.

Link – Thanks Ben Wasserstein!


Share


FROM THE NEATORAMA SHOP



COMMENT
  1. Great White Snark
    Aug 30th, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    I think everyone has the wrong idea. I don't think Janeane Garofalo's casting has anything at all to do with her politics. I think they just need a comic foil on that show to mitigate the unrelenting stream of ridiculous plots, situations, and dialogue.

    Here's my full take... let me know what you think:

    http://www.greatwhitesnark.com/2007/08/28/how-janeane-garofalo-can-sav e-tvs-24/

  2. Chad
    Aug 31st, 2007 at 1:09 am

    wow, that was insulting. I suppose anyone who is a left winger would rather let a terrorist get a way than to pollute a little bit huh? yeah... mmmmk

  3. Chad's dad
    Aug 31st, 2007 at 4:42 am

    chad you're an idiot. i'm as left-wing as they come and i'm going to tell you again - you're an idiot. TNR is a liberal magazine and daniel chun is clearly left-leaning. lighten up and enjoy the humor, idiot.

  4. Justin
    Aug 31st, 2007 at 8:44 am

    This is a joke fyi.

    terrorist1: Continue the Waterboarding!

    lol

  5. june
    Aug 31st, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Cripes, Chad. It was obviously a JOKE. I'm as bleeding-heart a liberal as they come, and I got that.

  6. Some crazy dork
    Aug 31st, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    This is a joke, but is Janeane really going to be on 24? I SO hope so. I love her and I love 24. It'll be awesome to see them together.

    "You got your Garafolo in my 24!"
    "You got your 24 on my Garafolo!"

  7. Weakly
    Aug 31st, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    "You see, because liberals care about the environment!" lawl

  8. XuYu
    Sep 1st, 2007 at 2:38 am

    Peaches!

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT

Neatorama Comment Policy
You don't have to register or login to comment, but it's easier if you do so. Comments aren't censored, but those that are abusive or off-topic may be edited or deleted.


Keep track of the comments with Comment RSS

Lijit Search

T-SHIRTS FROM THE NEATORAMA SHOP

WRITE YOUR OWN NEATORAMA POST
Got a neat story? Share it with the world by writing your very own Neatorama blog post with the Upcoming Queue. Who knows, you might just win something ...

Here's how to get started:
FAQ | Tips