What If Jack Bauer Was a Environment-Loving Lefty

Posted by Alex in Movies & SciFi on August 30, 2007 at 8:49 pm


Daniel Chun, a writer for The Simpsons, found out that they’ve cast liberal activist, comedian and actress Janeane Garofalo on Fox’s hit (and conservative) show 24.

So he got to work imagining how the show would change to become more "environmentally friendly":

The terrorist shoots the driver in the face. He looks for another car. He spots a parked Prius–he smashes the window, gets in, and drives off. A beat later, a city bus rounds the corner. Jack Bauer is on board.

Int. Bus - CONTINUOUS

JACK BAUER
Follow that Prius! Can’t you drive any faster?

BUS DRIVER
If this is too slow for you, drive yourself.

JACK BAUER
And contribute eight thousand pounds of CO2 to the atmosphere? Then I’d be the worst terrorist of all. Ever think about that, [LOOKS AT NAMETAG] Doug?

Jack sees the Prius getting away. He holds his gun to the bus driver’s neck.

JACK BAUER (CONT’D)
Drive faster, dammit! I’m a federal agent.

BUS DRIVER
Okay, okay!

The bus driver guns the gas pedal. We see the speedometer hit 55, then climb towards 65.

JACK BAUER
Whoa, whoa! Does fuel efficiency mean nothing to you? Fifty-five is fast enough. Geez.

The bus slows down to 55.

Link - Thanks Ben Wasserstein!



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COMMENT

8 comments to "What If Jack Bauer Was a Environment-Loving Lefty"

  1. Great White Snark
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    I think everyone has the wrong idea. I don’t think Janeane Garofalo’s casting has anything at all to do with her politics. I think they just need a comic foil on that show to mitigate the unrelenting stream of ridiculous plots, situations, and dialogue.

    Here’s my full take… let me know what you think:

    http://www.greatwhitesnark.com/2007/08/28/how-janeane-garofalo-can-sav e-tvs-24/

  2. Chad
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:09 am

    wow, that was insulting. I suppose anyone who is a left winger would rather let a terrorist get a way than to pollute a little bit huh? yeah… mmmmk

  3. Chad's dad
    August 31st, 2007 at 4:42 am

    chad you’re an idiot. i’m as left-wing as they come and i’m going to tell you again - you’re an idiot. TNR is a liberal magazine and daniel chun is clearly left-leaning. lighten up and enjoy the humor, idiot.

  4. Justin
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:44 am

    This is a joke fyi.

    terrorist1: Continue the Waterboarding!

    lol

  5. june
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Cripes, Chad. It was obviously a JOKE. I’m as bleeding-heart a liberal as they come, and I got that.

  6. Some crazy dork
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    This is a joke, but is Janeane really going to be on 24? I SO hope so. I love her and I love 24. It’ll be awesome to see them together.

    “You got your Garafolo in my 24!”
    “You got your 24 on my Garafolo!”

  7. Weakly
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:48 pm

    “You see, because liberals care about the environment!” lawl

  8. XuYu
    September 1st, 2007 at 2:38 am

    Peaches!


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