Man Undergoes Vasectomy to get iPhone

By onelargeprawn in Everything Else on Aug 3, 2007 at 8:54 am

iphone - operation snip

News from Gizmodo is that one of their loyal readers underwent a vasectomy to get an Apple iPhone! Mr Johnson, an Apple fanboi, simply had to have the iPhone. His shopping budget was spent already so he hatched a plan. On June 29th 2007, Mr. Johnson took his kids on a road trip to Boise; Mrs Johnson had to stay home to tend the baby. After dropping his kids off at the hotel, he drove to an AT&T store, and purchased a new 4GB iPhone without Wife Clearance.

Mrs Johnson was furious at his unacceptable behavior and made him return the iPhone to the store. Two days later she joined him in Denver. He was sad, non-talkative, down, depressed. Noticing it, she broke the question:

â€” “Honey, how badly you want the iPhone?”
â€” “Badly”, he said, puppy eyes again, no doubt – very badly.

â€” “Would you be willing to finally make that appointment for a vasectomy?” she replied.

Mr. Johnson absolutely loves his new 8GB iPhone.

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Guido
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 9:20 am
I wouldn’t. Ever.
youdiejoe
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 9:30 am
Vasectomy, pfffft! So easy, that guy totally snowed his wife. The big V was the best thing to happen to my/our sex life… but that is another post.
smak
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 10:13 am
Why not? It’s quick, safe, and doesn’t leave you less of a man. It’s not like they cut off your balls…
Matthew S
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 10:41 am
Did he just haggle his way into getting an 8 GB iPhone instead of the 4 GB he originally purchased? Nice.
Emily
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 10:44 am
Classic! Ha!Ha!Ha!
Zandt K
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 11:02 am
As a man that is just disgusting, but I guess she already took ‘em away from him years ago.
Eni
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Sounds like something he was going to eventually have to do anyway. Why not make a deal and get something totally sweet out of it?
MisterTrilby
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 1:30 pm
It doesn’t make you less of a man, no, but unnecessary surgery for the sake of a faddish piece of tenchnocrap that has to be sent away for battery replacement, has no expandable memory and is AT&T only?

PWNED!
Sid Morrison
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 2:34 pm
It’s pretty apparent that his wife cut off his nads years ago.
L
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 3:12 pm
So much ignorance. Neatorama readers obviously don’t even know what a vasectomy is (either that, or they equate sperm production with manliness). Maybe a simple explanation could be a future post. I’ve always wanted to know how they manage those “no-scalpel” ones…

If this guy already had at least three kids, there’s no reason he shouldn’t have had a vasectomy. Especially if he leaves his children unattended in hotel rooms.
Greg
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
So will my wife get a boob job if I let her buy that new Coach handbag? Didn’t think so…
Christian
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 3:50 pm
iFool.
Slam
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 5:25 pm
What a boner. What’s he going to do when a better version comes out, get his penis removed?
Some crazy dork
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 5:48 pm
I don’t want an iPhone. But…. the concept of someone having that much control over me creeps me out. I mean, what if they broke up? What if she died and he wanted to have kids with some he’d meet years later? I’ll remain unmarried before I marry someone who puts conditions (surgical conditions, nonetheless) on what gadget I can buy or not. It not a matter of manliness or whatever, its a matter of creepy controling-ness.
Mokuwai
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Someone needs to grow some balls!
farty
Aug 3rd, 2007 at 8:14 pm
doesn’t a vasectomy reduce a man’s testosterone levels/sex drive?
George
Aug 4th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Pitiful manipulation.

This is a man bereft of all dignity and integrity.
Andrew32
Aug 4th, 2007 at 1:26 am
Vasectomys can be reversible, but, only in rare occasions. I hear you can get a valve that you can turn on, with surgery, and then off.

Meh, I agree with some crazy dork, the control freaks me out.
youdiejoe
Aug 4th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Farty,

No, I had my V 2 years ago. And sex is great, really helps your wife/partner to know that you are “good to go” at a moments notice without having to worry about birth control.

My sex drive has seen no drop at all.
youdiejoe
Aug 4th, 2007 at 10:36 am
from wikipedia:

Vasectomy should not be confused with castration: vasectomy does not involve removal of the testicles and it affects neither the production of male sex hormones (mainly testosterone) nor their secretion into the bloodstream. Therefore sexual desire (libido) and the ability to have an erection and an orgasm with an ejaculation are not affected.
MisterTrilby
Aug 4th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Oh look, nobody reading this is equating vasectomies with castration or loss of manliness, so quit acting superior because you know what a vasectomy does. We ALL know what it does and doesn’t do. What it should not be for is the procurement of technological fripperies. It’s unnecessary surgery – didn’t the guy think of saving up for his iCrap?
will
Aug 5th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
no thanks…don’t need the iphone that badly.
ted
Aug 6th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
It’s not a physical emasculation that offends; it’s the mental emasculation.

The dude is married to his mother, not to an equal partner. He had to sneak away to buy it. He didn’t feel like he could talk it over with her beforehand. In the end, he was forced to return it, and then come to a degrading compromise to get his toy.

Bizarre how the whole “leaving the kids at the hotel” is just glossed over – great parenting skills.

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