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Man Woke Up with Lightbulb in His Butt.

If you ever had a bad night, just remember it's not as bad as Fateh Mohammad's:

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus. ...

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

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What are the stats on people not knowing something's been shoved up their butt when they're at the doctor's?

Probably pretty high.

"Honest, I don't know how that banana got there."
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I'm pretty sure light bulbs are little vacuum tubes = no air. That's why they make that funny imploding sound when they break.
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Actually it WILL look black, because the bulb contains air which shows up black on xrays. Dark zones do not simply mean absence of matter.
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