I hate seeing John Carter and Hugo on these lists, especially Hugo. Both are fine films that deserved better; I could see maybe Hugo not catching on with the 'mainstream' as it is thoughtful and reverent, but JC is full of action and is often very funny.

And I genuinely love The 13th Warrior, I think the biggest problems there are: the large budget they spent on the film (still can't tell where that huge amount of money went), and marketing the film focusing on Antonio Banderas; they should have spent more time playing up the Vikings who were kick ass awesome in this film

Pretty sure puppy girl & owl are from Animal Crossing

Taken individually, a lot of that list makes sense; he just needs to learn to summarize. "Don't be a self absorbed asshole" would condense that down to something like ten entries.

Maybe he can get a job as an elevator attendant

In space, no one can hear you pop

We used to rub the iron on the driveway until it got hot, then dare each other to touch it. The sad part is that was more fun than playing the game.

Eddie's articles, while great as they are already, are made 10 times more entertaining by reading them in his voice.

Marry her, split the bounty with her, then divorce.

My Summer Story was one of the few movies I could not bear to finish watching

The Ford Museum in Michigan has a bunch of these in working condition that make various things such as locomotives, busts of Lincoln