Wow, I want some of that energy. Maybe I should try eating dog food.

I reckon it's time for Target to start bolting the racks to the wall.

I assume the audio breaks were filled with F bombs.

"War and Peace". Less than a second to read that.

Gays: 1, Idiots: 0

When did "bass" become slang for "booty"? I thought this would be a song about guitars.

Are these recent pictures? If so, it looks like he lost all that weight that got him kicked off an airplane a few years back.

I assume that women are exempt from this; we get childbirth instead.

Now I want a sandwich.

My tip is to always use liquid soap, never powdered. After a few dozen washes, the powder ruins the shiny finish on your dishes and glasses, and also gums up the dishwasher itself.

Well, I just cooked chicken feet last night, along with the chicken that I killed, plucked, and eviscerated last week, so that one didn't seem weird to me. I've had natto before and thought it tasted pretty gross, like something that had been forgotten in the fridge for a month or two.

I'd like to throw that thing in front of my chickens and see how long it takes to disappear.

I thought everyone was going to suggest Puck; that's my choice.

I prefer my water to have chunks of meat floating in it.

The coordination and timing is impressive. I'm working on my 2014 goal of continuously jump-roping for 10 minutes, but that's just an endurance goal; I can't do any tricks at all!