Comments Duncan McPherson 1 Likes

They really like it! They've watched me build lots of things, so they've some to see me as handy around the home. Probably more than I really am.

They're just 3 and 5, so they haven't yet figured out that their daddy is odd.

The drawings in the photos are theirs.
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In a perfect world, being gentle and kind would be easy. But the world throws unkindness, injustice, hypocrisy, and other challenges at you. It takes strength to not respond the same way.
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I’ve commented on this on other forums, where so many of the comments say they shouldn’t be offended, because the people who say these things don’t mean any harm. When will people ever learn to think before speaking and choose their words better? Of course, for each person who says such things, it’s just an isolated incident, but when you are on the receiving end, it never stops.

If the recipient just puts up with it, nothing will ever change. At the same time, getting offended at every stupid comment is not good for your own mental health. Over the years, my daughters and I have discussed how clueless people can be, and tried to figure out together in which instances it would be right to 1. laugh it off, 2. say something appropriately short and clever, or 3. start a conversation about feelings and intentions and what would be more appropriate to say. It’s a long and involved process, but by now my kids are pretty good at judging those situations on their own.

On the one hand, children in this situation should be armed with the proper responses, but on the other hand, it’s not a child’s responsibility to change the world at the expense of her own well-being. For young children, how the parent responds is more important for the child’s security than anything a stranger (or even a friend) says.

One good thing is that the people who make thoughtless comments serve as a bad example. This sort of thing was a way to teach my children how words have an effect on those you say them to, and thinking before you speak is a big step in growing up.
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Profile for Duncan McPherson 1

  • Member Since 2013/08/03



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