A geological group who drilled a hole about 14.4 kilometers deep in the crust of the earth are saying that they heard human screams. Screams have been heard from the condemned souls from earth's deepest hole. Terrified scientists are afraid they have let loose the evil powers of hell up to the earth's surface.
'The information we are gathering is so surprising, that we are sincerely afraid of what we might find down there,' stated Dr Azzacov, the manager of the project in remote Siberia.

Do they realize that fast food restaurants NEVER WASH those trays? (At least not in the U.S.A.)

4 USC CHAPTER 1
Sec. 8.
"(d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free..."

AND ON FOREIGN SOIL NO LESS!

http://uscode.house.gov/download/pls/04C1.txt

Paul Ryan did it in 7 minutes.

http://www.paulryantimecalculator.com/