Recently unearthed Pompeii Satellite Dish Network receiver. It was still tuned to the Discovery channel when found. Some alarmist rhetoric show about end of the world, cataclysm, apocalypse, yadda yadda yadda.

Schrodinger's Cat: Wanted Dead And/Or Alive XL Military green

OK, everybody say it with me in their best Homer voice, "Mmmmm, khak."