I can't even stand the glaucoma test at the optometrist….

Stargate Command is located near Colorado Springs. That's probably the real target.

I would have thought she'd be holding out a nice knit hat....

Now there's something I wish I could un-see. (No pun intended.)

Quoth the raven, "I cleaned the greasy nose print you left while staring out the sliding patio door."

I wouldn't want to go back to plucking chickens like my parents did, but skin and bones on chicken parts makes it real, and infinitely preferable to prefab, shipped frozen and reheated, reconstituted chicken parts with emulsified chicken added.

What's that dark thing strapped onto his head if it's not a helmet?

It's a "doomsday preppers bunker" for a BIRD! A place where he can "bug out" when the economic collapse happens. Just hang it in a sturdy tree, in a secret place, and stock it with months of bird seed! Just the thing for any survivalist bird!

Out of My Mind ... Back in Five Minutes , XL

The Austin High School prank reminds me of a 4th of July parade I watched with my brother's family in upstate New York. Besides having the reigning Mrs. New York State, the first drum and bugle corps ran back to the starting line and was also the last.

They gave us a serenade because we were the first people to recognize that they did it.

He resembles James Carville.

A Higgs Boson.
Yeah, I've never seen one of those before, either.

"Bug Or Feature", Mens XL, Ash Grey

Darn. All this time I thought it had something to do with a guy named Gump.

The thief didn't look at the face of the woman who's serving her drinks and realized it's the same woman she stole the ID from? Hah!

Knew Egypt was in a bad way, but if the cats are smuggling themselves in it must be bad.