We've seen (or at least head of) Abraham Lincoln as a vampire hunter, so why not make him into a Kung Fu master in the style of Bruce Lee? We heard he swung a great axe. And we've got plenty of existing movies about Abe starring actors you'll recognize instantly.
Cinefix made a mockup of a phonetically-dubbed sound effects-enhanced 1970s martial arts flick starring everyone's favorite president. -via Geeks Are Sexy